Funnies

Yesterday we were talking about something with Lily and she said, "I respectfully disagree."  Sometimes she'll say, "My opinion of this is..."  It's pretty funny to listen to her be so grown up.  Tonight for Family night Lance said the opening prayer and prayed that the Star Wars preview would be good. Then in his own prayers he said, "Thank you that the star wars video was good and that I got to eat pretzles.
  Every night they want me to play them songs on the piano. It's quite a nice way for me to wind down!  Grant really wanted to go eat lunch with the kids at school today and then wouldn't eat and got mad at Lily when we got there. He and Lance played a game where they took the yellow Tonka dump truck and would send it between each other's legs. I get sad for Grant that he doesn't have Lance here to play with. Though I do think he takes better naps because of it.

Tonight

Tonight at bedtime Lance and I were talking about Emily and he wanted to know how Emily talked so I was telling him about her different signs and how she loved Robby and would ask for Dad when she didn't want me. He thought it was hilarious. And then he wanted to read her books so I read all the kids her poem that Robby wrote and we looked at the pictures. It was good for my soul.
   Lily was super happy today because she was let into the nature club. Long story but hopefully she and some girls at church will get along a little better now.  2nd grade drama!  Lance always tells me the funniest things. He tells me that he and Emily are the best cuddlers in the family (because I've told him they are). Grant calls stools "Stoolers" and toilet paper "wipers."  He gets very excited when we see stools at other people's houses.  He's going through this thing where he wakes up at night scared and won't go back to sleep and he doesn't like to leave me. He even had a hard time at nursery which he normally loves. I've also learned that he does NOT like to share his toys, so we are working on it. He's had a bit of an identity crisis with Lily and Lance both in school. Though he does love to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Lily has been doing a pretty good job practicing piano now that we have a friend who takes lessons with her. I'm glad my other friend suggested it!  I sure love being a mom.   After school I try to take the time to get the kids a snack, read them an article from the Friend, and then play a game with them if they want. Today we played hide and seek. Then we do homework and if time our reading. 4:00 is when they can turn on the TV for a bit. Its gone so much better than last year, with not teaching piano this year. Last year was awful, I hated teaching right after school. I will never do that again. I have two lessons after school but they aren't until 4:00, and then I teach one Wednesday mornings. It's great!

I Know.

There are a few things that I know for certain. I know I love my family. I know that they love me.  I know I hate to clean. I know life can be hard.  I know that I will get to be with my Emily again, not just in Heaven but as a resurrected perfect person. And I know this because I know Jesus Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for me, that he died, and that now he lives. I know this because I have experienced His love in my life and the power of his Atonement in my life.
  Today while watching General Conference the choir and congregation sang one of my favorite songs, I Know That My Redeemer Lives".  I have always loved this song. I was able to teach it to all of the little kids at church when we were in Texas.  Emily and I used to listen to it on the way to school.  During that time I had a miscarriage that just made me sad. The words would give me comfort as we drove through San Antonio traffic to get Emily to her little vision class.  My brother and sister sang this song at Emily's funeral.  All of the grandkids sang it at my Grandpa Chlarson's funeral.  And the words always testify to me of what I know.  Happy Easter!

#becausehelives

1. 1. I know that my Redeemer lives.
   What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
   He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
   He lives, my ever-living Head.
   He lives to bless me with his love.
   He lives to plead for me above.
   He lives my hungry soul to feed.
   He lives to bless in time of need.
2. 2. He lives to grant me rich supply.
   He lives to guide me with his eye.
   He lives to comfort me when faint.
   He lives to hear my soul's complaint.
   He lives to silence all my fears.
   He lives to wipe away my tears.
   He lives to calm my troubled heart.
   He lives all blessings to impart.
3. 3. He lives, my kind, wise heav'nly Friend.
   He lives and loves me to the end.
   He lives, and while he lives, I'll sing.
   He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.
   He lives and grants me daily breath.
   He lives, and I shall conquer death.
   He lives my mansion to prepare.
   He lives to bring me safely there.
4. 4. He lives! All glory to his name!
   He lives, my Savior, still the same.
   Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
   "I know that my Redeemer lives!"
   He lives! All glory to his name!
   He lives, my Savior, still the same.
   Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
   "I know that my Redeemer lives!"

Angel Day #6

Tomorrow will be 6 years from when Emily passed away. I have had so many different thoughts going through my head the past few weeks. This year has honestly been one of the hardest as far as dealing with my emotions losing Emily, probably since the first year after her death. That year takes the cake! But for today, at least, I am in a good place. 

One of the things that always goes through my head as we look through Emily's box of things in the days before her angel day (we usually do it for family night)  is how grateful I am for all the people who expressed their love and support to us, by attending the funeral, sending cards, sending us things to help us remember Emily, and crying and missing Emily with us.  We were surrounded by wonderful people who loved Emily, and it meant and still means a lot to me. 

People have often said they don't know what to say, or what to do, when someone dies. I still remember one sister at church, our first Sunday back after burying Emily in Washington, who just put her arms around me and said, "I love you, Camille." It was perfect. And she didn't say anything else. Some other friends would tell me how much they missed Emily, too. And would cry with me.  When we moved to oregon I had one person who when they found out about Emily said, "I'm sorry, I just want to give you a hug." And she did and it was great!  Last year I had one friend offer to come over and look at Emily's things with me, even though she didn't know Emily.  I had another friend who told me she loves to hear about Emily and would be happy to talk about her anytime. I so appreciated that!  My sister is coming tomorrow, just to hang out with me so I'm not by myself. It's been six years but it means a lot that she would offer to spend her time with me. 

These are a few pictures from going through her box. 

This is a lot of her sunbeam class; she got to go to part of their preschool. 

Grant wanted to try on Emily's AFO's

She had really cute sunglasses

The kids love trying on her cpap mask; they have to do it every year.

I wrote this letter to Emily just before her first birthday, at my first chromosome 18 conference that I attended. I love my little girl and miss her every day. And I am also grateful for how my life has continued to move forward; I truly feel blessed.