So this week was a tough week. Robby's Grandpa Read passed away last week and his funeral was Monday, so he went home for the funeral in Washington and was there Friday night-Wednesday night. And I had some things happen while he was gone that just weren't fun. Which just seemed lame because he almost never goes on trips! This was nothing compared to when he went to a BYU football game and Emily ended up in the hospital and Lily was 3 months old, but it gave me a chance to think about some things and I've realized a couple of things about myself.
1. I have delayed reactions to things. I can usually handle things fairly well in the moment, but then later will have a total breakdown. I remember when my best friend, Becky, left for a semester abroad while I was engaged. We'd been roommates all through college and it was my first time living without her. I was sad she was leaving, but didn't even really cry until about 3-4 weeks later and lost it to Robby one night for no real reason. When he asked what was wrong it was just, "I miss Becky!" When people move I tend to be like that. I'm not always emotional at the time, but then later on it hits me. Or when a child is hurt, or when Emily was in the hospital. So I guess it's my coping mechanism.
2. I deal with things in a physical way. I love to read, but after Emily died I didn't read a book for 6 months (other than my scripctures) I just couldn't sit still that long. We had a meeting on Thursday for church talking about emotional health and this came up; how you deal with things like stress, grief, etc. And mine is all physical. Like on Tuesday, I hadn't worked out since Friday and had had a bummer last few days. So I got to the gym, cranked my music, and ran as fast as I could for a mile. And then did my boot camp class as hard as I could. And it felt so good! But it's made me worried about how I will deal with things when I can't deal with them physically. Like if I get injured or get a disease or something. How else can I deal with stress?
I did have the thought that I enjoy playing the piano and that de-stresses me, too. So I want to start practicing the piano more. Robby just put a ceiling fan in our piano room so its much cooler in there. It was our only room in the house without a ceiling fan and so it always felt much warmer than the rest of the house and made me not want to be in there when it's so hot outside. I'd also like to get better at my theory so I'm a better piano teacher.
3. I need physical affection. My "Love language" I guess. All Reid's are like this; we're pretty sure it's from our dad. But like this week I really hadn't seen anyone since Saturday. And I had a friend come over and give me a hug and I didn't know i needed it until I got it. It was like I could then acknowledge my emotions. The same thing happened on Easter, when I was missing Emily. I had a friend give me a hug and those emotions flooded out; how much I was missing her. And it felt so good to have a good cry and get that out.
4. I'm an extrovert-I need people! Not too surprising I guess when I need physical affection. In our meeting on Thursday the way it was put was "How do you get re-charged? By being with people or by being by yourself?" And mine is definitely with people. I like being with people. I think that's one of the main reasons I try to do things with my kids. Its for them, but it's so that I can get out of the house and be around other adults! I don't think I'd last very long on a desert island. Like on Friday I was feeling really down in the morning. I took the kids to the gym and by the end of the workout felt so much better. I think it was partly the workout, but a big part of it was just being with others. So, that's what I've learned about myself this week. I'm pretty sure it's stuff I already know but I felt like I wanted to write it out so others (like maybe my kids) can understand a bit better what makes me tick!
Sunday, June 17, 2012
So here's just a few pictures of what we've been up to the last 2 months. In May we went up to Landa Park and rented a paddle boat, which was fun, though hot and sticky. But everything is here.I thought this tree was pretty cool; it's one of the oldest in the hill country, supposedly. It's an Oak tree.
Lily played soccer February-April. We will try again next year; it was not her favorite thing but we stuck it out until the end!
We love the San Antonio Temple. This was on our 10th anniversary. I took Lily inside for the first time, which is why she's all dressed up. She can just go inside the front part but it's really beautiful to look inside; she was impressed!
At the end of May I went to the Chromosome 18 golf tournament and released a balloon for Emily. They release balloons at the start of the tournament for children and loved ones who have passed away. I'm always amazed at how emotional I get when I go. There was another mom there who lost her daughter close to the same time as I lost Emily and we had a good cry.
This was my attempt at a picture with the kids on Mother's Day.
We got granite put in over Memorial Day weekend. I love it!
A craft I did from pinterest. I'm not a crafty person, but this was fun. I still haven't figured out where to put it, though.
Last Friday while Robby was gone I took Lily to the Magic Theatre for the first time to see Knuffle bunny. These are her good friends who went with us. We really had a great time.
Last Saturday we went up to Fredricksburg and picked peaches. They are so yummy; we got 25 lbs and probably gave away around 8 lbs and ate the rest. I didn't even freeze them like I'd planned on. They are one of my favorite things here in Texas.
I was trying to get a family picture on my phone. All these pictures are from my phone, actually. I love that iphone; so convinent!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Warning, these stories contain bodily fluids
So my call to Robby this morning; "do you want to come home and switch places?" Or maybe that's what I said yesterday and thought today. The kids have been on quite a roll/terror this week. It actually makes me laugh; they seriously know how to entertain. Or maybe I'm just entertained very easily. On Monday we had some friends over and a little boy, who knows better (he's three) took off his clothes and peed in Lance's crib. His sister and Lily ran to tell me. So I wasn't super happy about that but what can you do? So then that evening Lily tells us she's going potty and looks super mischevious, Robby even commented on it, but I didn't think much of it, until she then came into the living room and told us she and her friend had peed in Lance's room. I knew they hadn't in the morning, so I asked her if she had tonight, and she took me in and showed me where she had taken off all her clothes and peed on Lance's floor, 30 seconds previously. I was not a happy mommy and she knew it. So she cried and cried. I later told her I was glad she'd told me what she'd done, but it was still very naughty. She said she was sorry that she did it on purpose. You think?Lance thinks he can go to the bathroom, but he never really has success. But the same morning, Monday, he had his diaper off and started peeing on the floor. I told him to stop and got him onto the toilet, and he went so I was super proud. But then he proceeded to go more on my kitchen floor before I got a diaper back on him. sigh.
This morning I was trying to clean Lance's room, which was a mess, and Lily started screaming. I ran in to ask her what happened and she told me, "Lance ate my heart." "what?" "He ate my heart." me, "Did he bite you?" Lily, "Yes." and he had, a big bite mark on her chest. So Lance then went to time out for that, which he cried and cried about and did not want to apologize for. When I got him out of time out I told him he needed to go and say he was sorry for biting Lily, and he threw himself on the floor and screamed some more. So I left him him there. Eventually he calmed down and told her he was sorry without me saying anything else. He likes being able to give kisses when he has to say he's sorry.
Any time he stubs a toe or does anything he wants me to kiss it better. And kiss his cars better if they get bumped. I draw the line there! He calls Lily "Bubba." Which is quite funny since she calls him "Lancey Bubba." He'll say things like, "Bubba sleeping." Bubba hit." It cracks us up. If he wants to get out of doing something he puts his head on his shoulder and says, "Sleeping."
This afternoon, about 2 hours after I'd put him down for a nap, I was in the kitchen and saw this little blond boy walking around the corner. He'd gotten out of his crib, and opened his door, by himself! My life as I know it is over. Luckily he likes to sleep and so hopefully even when we turn his crib into a toddler bed he'll still take naps and go to bed. As it is right now he loves sleeping on the floor. Any time at night when he wakes up we just bring him into our room or Lily's room and put him on the floor and he's just fine.
Lily loves playing on this Friend website that I have bookmarked for her, from the church magazine The Friend, which is for kids. She loves playing matching games, singing the songs, and coloring the pictures. She also loves these videos about the temple. One has a girl who's 11 singing I love to See the Temple and talking about being excited to turn 12 to do baptisms for the dead there. On Monday I asked Lily why she liked the video and she said, "To be reverent." I'm not sure what that meant but I'll take it. And then yesterday she turned around to me and said, "Mom, our body is a temple!" And then today she said, "Jesus wants us to go to the temple. Can we go right now? I can go inside with you." I took her inside the temple a few weeks ago, just right inside the doors. She thought it was pretty special, though she did say in her loudest voice, "Mom, Look!" Before I could stop her. The water that's flowing inside has lights on it that makes it look like it's on fire which she was fasinated with.
It just kills me how she takes everything so literally. On Sunday we were coming home from a friend's house and she said, "I'm going to give you a talk. There was a boy, David Michael, and he took his grandma's money, and flushed it down the toilet!" Of course to her the money was literally flushed down the toilet. I talked to my friend later who said there was a talk from a Bishopric member about stealing money so I'm guessing that he must have said that in some kind of context in his talk.
I think that's all of there little moments so far this week. I'm trying to write them down so I don't forget. They are just so much fun; I really am a lucky mom with a terrible memory, so hopefully these will help me. If you made it to the end of this you must be a relative or really, really good friend!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
My kids make me laugh. They're always saying funny things. Today Lily told us she was going to give us a talk about a kid names David Michael who threw his grandma's money down the toilet. I'm sure she heard it in Primary; but she literally thought he threw the money in the toilet. She likes playing princess and having you kiss her to wake you up like my little sister did. Lance threw my necklace in the toilet this week, giving it a swirly. He also put a toothpick thing in the toilet and then in his mouth, and while taking these pictures took some chewed gum off the side of a garbage can while I was looking at Lily and stuck it in his mouth. He's not sick yet, so fingers crossed. So gross!
My friend and I went downtown to the missions this week and she took these pictures of the kids. I haven't edited them yet; I have photoshop but have the dickens of a time trying to figure it out. Like simple things like how to whiten teeth. Drives me crazy. But I thought they turned out pretty cute. The red wall was at a closed down gas station; we were on the South Side of town, so lots of colorful things. :-) I know I"ve been terrible about blogging, but nothing exciting is going on here. Which I guess is a good thing. We're managing the heat pretty well so far. It's nothing compared to last summer, which I am very grateful for!