tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2527827134421285732024-03-13T03:03:42.444-07:00Hammond FamilyThe day to day of life with 3 kids and how we move forward without our Angel Emily with us.
Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.comBlogger195125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-10937921162707119202015-10-19T21:47:00.000-07:002015-10-19T21:47:52.877-07:00FunniesYesterday we were talking about something with Lily and she said, "I respectfully disagree." Sometimes she'll say, "My opinion of this is..." It's pretty funny to listen to her be so grown up. Tonight for Family night Lance said the opening prayer and prayed that the Star Wars preview would be good. Then in his own prayers he said, "Thank you that the star wars video was good and that I got to eat pretzles. <br />
Every night they want me to play them songs on the piano. It's quite a nice way for me to wind down! Grant really wanted to go eat lunch with the kids at school today and then wouldn't eat and got mad at Lily when we got there. He and Lance played a game where they took the yellow Tonka dump truck and would send it between each other's legs. I get sad for Grant that he doesn't have Lance here to play with. Though I do think he takes better naps because of it. Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-89140804934360871922015-10-13T21:50:00.001-07:002015-10-13T21:50:49.904-07:00TonightTonight at bedtime Lance and I were talking about Emily and he wanted to know how Emily talked so I was telling him about her different signs and how she loved Robby and would ask for Dad when she didn't want me. He thought it was hilarious. And then he wanted to read her books so I read all the kids her poem that Robby wrote and we looked at the pictures. It was good for my soul. <br />
Lily was super happy today because she was let into the nature club. Long story but hopefully she and some girls at church will get along a little better now. 2nd grade drama! Lance always tells me the funniest things. He tells me that he and Emily are the best cuddlers in the family (because I've told him they are). Grant calls stools "Stoolers" and toilet paper "wipers." He gets very excited when we see stools at other people's houses. He's going through this thing where he wakes up at night scared and won't go back to sleep and he doesn't like to leave me. He even had a hard time at nursery which he normally loves. I've also learned that he does NOT like to share his toys, so we are working on it. He's had a bit of an identity crisis with Lily and Lance both in school. Though he does love to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Lily has been doing a pretty good job practicing piano now that we have a friend who takes lessons with her. I'm glad my other friend suggested it! I sure love being a mom. After school I try to take the time to get the kids a snack, read them an article from the Friend, and then play a game with them if they want. Today we played hide and seek. Then we do homework and if time our reading. 4:00 is when they can turn on the TV for a bit. Its gone so much better than last year, with not teaching piano this year. Last year was awful, I hated teaching right after school. I will never do that again. I have two lessons after school but they aren't until 4:00, and then I teach one Wednesday mornings. It's great!Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-49958779048121762592015-04-05T13:01:00.000-07:002015-04-05T13:01:07.765-07:00I Know.There are a few things that I know for certain. I know I love my family. I know that they love me. I know I hate to clean. I know life can be hard. I know that I will get to be with my Emily again, not just in Heaven but as a resurrected perfect person. And I know this because I know Jesus Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for me, that he died, and that now he lives. I know this because I have experienced His love in my life and the power of his Atonement in my life.<br />
Today while watching General Conference the choir and congregation sang one of my favorite songs, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCpxbZdDdv0">I Know That My Redeemer Lives</a>". I have always loved this song. I was able to teach it to all of the little kids at church when we were in Texas. Emily and I used to listen to it on the way to school. During that time I had a miscarriage that just made me sad. The words would give me comfort as we drove through San Antonio traffic to get Emily to her little vision class. My brother and sister sang this song at Emily's funeral. All of the grandkids sang it at my Grandpa Chlarson's funeral. And the words always testify to me of what I know. Happy Easter!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mormon.org/easter?cid=77100722&mlang=en">#becausehelives</a><br />
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<li style="background: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: left; float: left; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px 34.4375px 20px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 327.265625px;"><div class="line" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; text-indent: -10px; vertical-align: baseline;">
1. I know that my Redeemer lives.</div>
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What comfort this sweet sentence gives!</div>
<div class="line" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; text-indent: -10px; vertical-align: baseline;">
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.</div>
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He lives, my ever-living Head.</div>
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He lives to bless me with his love.</div>
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He lives to plead for me above.</div>
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He lives my hungry soul to feed.</div>
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He lives to bless in time of need.</div>
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2. He lives to grant me rich supply.</div>
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He lives to guide me with his eye.</div>
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He lives to comfort me when faint.</div>
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He lives to hear my soul's complaint.</div>
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He lives to silence all my fears.</div>
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He lives to wipe away my tears.</div>
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He lives to calm my troubled heart.</div>
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He lives all blessings to impart.</div>
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3. He lives, my kind, wise heav'nly Friend.</div>
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He lives and loves me to the end.</div>
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He lives, and while he lives, I'll sing.</div>
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He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.</div>
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He lives and grants me daily breath.</div>
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He lives, and I shall conquer death.</div>
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He lives my mansion to prepare.</div>
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He lives to bring me safely there.</div>
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4. He lives! All glory to his name!</div>
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He lives, my Savior, still the same.</div>
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Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:</div>
<div class="line" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; text-indent: -10px; vertical-align: baseline;">
"I know that my Redeemer lives!"</div>
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He lives! All glory to his name!</div>
<div class="line" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; text-indent: -10px; vertical-align: baseline;">
He lives, my Savior, still the same.</div>
<div class="line" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; text-indent: -10px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:</div>
<div class="line" style="background: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; text-indent: -10px; vertical-align: baseline;">
"I know that my Redeemer lives!"</div>
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Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-21348396535902363862015-01-19T20:45:00.001-08:002015-01-19T20:45:52.555-08:00Angel Day #6<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWoYg07xNsu334Pqbh9Rq9dTbMyAXi4ho6w5bEGVajgdMrjSfHiab312fEcbK_rJz6mn6aKYs5preAz8YkmzPUvCm7WT9bxl5SnDzCyh5wKVNlP0X1_KpJ7Kglx80Zo7c8Ik4SWPlVFVMV/s640/blogger-image-1443038986.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWoYg07xNsu334Pqbh9Rq9dTbMyAXi4ho6w5bEGVajgdMrjSfHiab312fEcbK_rJz6mn6aKYs5preAz8YkmzPUvCm7WT9bxl5SnDzCyh5wKVNlP0X1_KpJ7Kglx80Zo7c8Ik4SWPlVFVMV/s640/blogger-image-1443038986.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGDl7tCj1D2nIDmSMlY1wrsQEGqWsvlVv5z_8sM7h34UoUYT0gNaiLGEyaopT4eqC81y9YS1fAQBjTgZMBLD8eoGLYVJdROC2XBO3bFBqWfbGSXdETaZwdKfmaIJ9E4fsoOAMadIykWBfT/s640/blogger-image-712501600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGDl7tCj1D2nIDmSMlY1wrsQEGqWsvlVv5z_8sM7h34UoUYT0gNaiLGEyaopT4eqC81y9YS1fAQBjTgZMBLD8eoGLYVJdROC2XBO3bFBqWfbGSXdETaZwdKfmaIJ9E4fsoOAMadIykWBfT/s640/blogger-image-712501600.jpg"></a></div>Tomorrow will be 6 years from when Emily passed away. I have had so many different thoughts going through my head the past few weeks. This year has honestly been one of the hardest as far as dealing with my emotions losing Emily, probably since the first year after her death. That year takes the cake! But for today, at least, I am in a good place. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">One of the things that always goes through my head as we look through Emily's box of things in the days before her angel day (we usually do it for family night) is how grateful I am for all the people who expressed their love and support to us, by attending the funeral, sending cards, sending us things to help us remember Emily, and crying and missing Emily with us. We were surrounded by wonderful people who loved Emily, and it meant and still means a lot to me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">People have often said they don't know what to say, or what to do, when someone dies. I still remember one sister at church, our first Sunday back after burying Emily in Washington, who just put her arms around me and said, "I love you, Camille." It was perfect. And she didn't say anything else. Some other friends would tell me how much they missed Emily, too. And would cry with me. When we moved to oregon I had one person who when they found out about Emily said, "I'm sorry, I just want to give you a hug." And she did and it was great! Last year I had one friend offer to come over and look at Emily's things with me, even though she didn't know Emily. I had another friend who told me she loves to hear about Emily and would be happy to talk about her anytime. I so appreciated that! My sister is coming tomorrow, just to hang out with me so I'm not by myself. It's been six years but it means a lot that she would offer to spend her time with me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">These are a few pictures from going through her box. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN9eG5VJTPqzW5_ZEeNE6u-WPeQzRzoduIGO_wZfpTQ4UQJvHbtW2rk7Z9pQlmpDcxr17TtRBOiK-io5yaAYEEm86UB8oqm8uBx69Qkw5BfSAQ8fVR91VIyVEWnsSQnmBn6C-MTrVYniNh/s640/blogger-image--1928918495.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN9eG5VJTPqzW5_ZEeNE6u-WPeQzRzoduIGO_wZfpTQ4UQJvHbtW2rk7Z9pQlmpDcxr17TtRBOiK-io5yaAYEEm86UB8oqm8uBx69Qkw5BfSAQ8fVR91VIyVEWnsSQnmBn6C-MTrVYniNh/s640/blogger-image--1928918495.jpg"></a></div>This is a lot of her sunbeam class; she got to go to part of their preschool. <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Grant wanted to try on Emily's AFO's<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd89s-fPVJztigljeWUXaDl7_swB3eytXO6FPUajdpzw-TkxN8KRFj6eJnkQelDM3VlMZvPY7AY6nU8MIPdJ8mZZSkdxhz9rSAdu_WKx5LMnDRCxPNJ4KcBueZIg7YfS7guDWChVsxaO70/s640/blogger-image-931028350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd89s-fPVJztigljeWUXaDl7_swB3eytXO6FPUajdpzw-TkxN8KRFj6eJnkQelDM3VlMZvPY7AY6nU8MIPdJ8mZZSkdxhz9rSAdu_WKx5LMnDRCxPNJ4KcBueZIg7YfS7guDWChVsxaO70/s640/blogger-image-931028350.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaPzm0HViu3qoQaEcdud62P6c6am6WLuKO7EpL2JFA2vNr5KiETgaD1vA4z6-Admi4tNqdBTvInEunWBaKLCYDK5feufnZSEvbME40CDQRSnN1zkX0GEjHVFp3DStFd4kkWLDDLud_9738/s640/blogger-image-18609010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaPzm0HViu3qoQaEcdud62P6c6am6WLuKO7EpL2JFA2vNr5KiETgaD1vA4z6-Admi4tNqdBTvInEunWBaKLCYDK5feufnZSEvbME40CDQRSnN1zkX0GEjHVFp3DStFd4kkWLDDLud_9738/s640/blogger-image-18609010.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">She had really cute sunglasses</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo3bgo5IzTQ3l1TLB6XO9yvCTqzsisXRO7H6lA8GCauM-3XVuupFKdtWVmGcyMCJQHhXV_kbG99al0iQ75mGmgm0a0VSTCqI-7olsishBoYU77LTvNle8Th51l1zWTwyre3OuwpjYC24VD/s640/blogger-image-1376355794.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo3bgo5IzTQ3l1TLB6XO9yvCTqzsisXRO7H6lA8GCauM-3XVuupFKdtWVmGcyMCJQHhXV_kbG99al0iQ75mGmgm0a0VSTCqI-7olsishBoYU77LTvNle8Th51l1zWTwyre3OuwpjYC24VD/s640/blogger-image-1376355794.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The kids love trying on her cpap mask; they have to do it every year.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8CS-8FmFh6JxvuXi0VHtCajci4NdWWgQAAfVMKH5LtqS-dmQ7OV8SO7xWjLdoK5muz_6RcbaTC7Q6WvB00BouWsEVZgum8KCQE91cP0nRc-cMkvqBHDvYJJgVJXsIKCPHrlf37y1_2Qgh/s640/blogger-image-564899004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8CS-8FmFh6JxvuXi0VHtCajci4NdWWgQAAfVMKH5LtqS-dmQ7OV8SO7xWjLdoK5muz_6RcbaTC7Q6WvB00BouWsEVZgum8KCQE91cP0nRc-cMkvqBHDvYJJgVJXsIKCPHrlf37y1_2Qgh/s640/blogger-image-564899004.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoerxAB-F4_5rQHxvZrkP1y8g7oZist-ewat0AqyJtjXjiy2bU48_HTBf58DsYTTeKoX3OQSnn-kW4TyJm6qxcTb-1DjtFFQRCBI5Vo6oglRGxI8v5Ryr0zNyur3Zdxd_M7WTXnJcV-Ba7/s640/blogger-image--1862367467.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoerxAB-F4_5rQHxvZrkP1y8g7oZist-ewat0AqyJtjXjiy2bU48_HTBf58DsYTTeKoX3OQSnn-kW4TyJm6qxcTb-1DjtFFQRCBI5Vo6oglRGxI8v5Ryr0zNyur3Zdxd_M7WTXnJcV-Ba7/s640/blogger-image--1862367467.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIjZFbozmLkhMGJbQAFvtfJvjniJ3a9u5o4xOrsPaSR5bizQcXqws42-vDX49GqhtalcVzh0EgWfItf8XK2l8axyYUOEVRAykeH9-4DuQYLiVTS-l3iXFr7YtKkt7Hg6sKtp_kPn71LHMM/s640/blogger-image--1624400490.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIjZFbozmLkhMGJbQAFvtfJvjniJ3a9u5o4xOrsPaSR5bizQcXqws42-vDX49GqhtalcVzh0EgWfItf8XK2l8axyYUOEVRAykeH9-4DuQYLiVTS-l3iXFr7YtKkt7Hg6sKtp_kPn71LHMM/s640/blogger-image--1624400490.jpg"></a></div></div><br></div>I wrote this letter to Emily just before her first birthday, at my first chromosome 18 conference that I attended. I love my little girl and miss her every day. And I am also grateful for how my life has continued to move forward; I truly feel blessed. </div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM2W4r6yTrXJvgOS_XQIJx5ChH4UWV3lLghXQf5hgDEeW-GH9FX1bIZsK34UZ933qPl9DLjqnCTdR5wWrWNRDRWxhjoM52qcOGt2w6RhHrA7L6clo46NCJhW7y3j4uNMi8_96Rx_cibvTd/s640/blogger-image-133413653.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM2W4r6yTrXJvgOS_XQIJx5ChH4UWV3lLghXQf5hgDEeW-GH9FX1bIZsK34UZ933qPl9DLjqnCTdR5wWrWNRDRWxhjoM52qcOGt2w6RhHrA7L6clo46NCJhW7y3j4uNMi8_96Rx_cibvTd/s640/blogger-image-133413653.jpg"></a></div>Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-58782658055053682882014-12-04T08:49:00.001-08:002014-12-04T08:49:28.535-08:00Why I don't hate Elf on the ShelfI totally get not wanting to do Elf on the Shelf, but I do get tired of seeing everywhere how awful it is. When we moved to oregon and I was pregnant we bought an Elf and named it Cooper, since that's what Robby wanted to name the baby and I told him no. That Christmas was really hard for me, I didn't really have any friends close-at least my sister lived an hour away! And I was not used to not being able to play outside lots in the winter after raising my kids to that point in Texas-taking care of kids in rainy season is very different than being a kid in rainy season! (I grew up in Washington) looking back I can see that I was depressed but at the time I just figured it was pregnancy and moving emotions. Then the shootings in Connecticut happened and it sent me spiraling downward. I don't think anyone really knew how awful I really felt-I'm pretty good at faking my emotions and convincing myself I'm fine.<div><br></div><div>One of the bright spots of my day though, was watching lily and lance, who were 2 and 4, look for cooper and laugh at whatever he had done. Though he's never super naughty. Looking back it's the highlight of that otherwise rather bleak Christmas season. So now they are older and lily is starting to figure out that it may be mom and dad because I totally mess it up, but I don't regret doing it. I kind of wish I would have told them from the start it was mom and dad doing funny things, but it's been a fun tradition for our family. Not for everyone, but fun for us! Until she makes the link between the elf and Santa not being real. I'm not looking forward to that!</div>Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-33810155135482607782014-11-25T09:45:00.001-08:002014-11-25T09:45:14.763-08:00Stages of Grief-Guilt I have realized the last few months that I am still grieving deeply for Emily. Or at least dealing with the emotions and feelings that the loss has brought to my life and how it has changed me. When Emily first passed away I really felt like I was doing well. I missed her terribly, and I was deeply, deeply grieving, but I felt so much peace that I was able to move forward and to be happy, even as my arms ached to hold her and sing to her. I remember someone calling from the funeral home to ask if I'd gone to any grief counseling and saying, "No, I'm doing really well, I don't have any anger or guilt or anything." and that has stayed true, in a sense, but I have also realized the past few months that I am feeling guilt and anger in a way differently than what I think people would think of. I have never, ever felt guilty for how I took care of Emily. Ever. I have always been blessed to know that I took care of her in the very best way that I knew how. Did I make mistakes, yes. But I really did everything I could to make sure she was healthy and happy. I tried so hard to treat her just as I would any other one year old, two year old, three year old and four year old. We went to the zoo, to six flags, peach picking, to the park, on runs, swimming, etc. I tried to make sure she had time to just play and be a kid, as much as possible with the therapists and doctors and school. When she passed away I was blessed to know that we had done everything we could to make sure she was healthy; it just wasn't meant to be for whatever reason. Since she's passed I've had people say things like, "You were the very best mom for her." or "You shouldn't feel bad for anything you did with her." And I never, ever have. It's a blessing.<br />
But...<br />
I have realized the past few months, especially since Lily has been in first grade, that I feel extremely guilty over how I parent my children, especially Lily. I think because I did so much with Emily, and I spent so much of my time devoted to taking care of her, I feel bad if I don't do the same thing to my other kids. I feel guilty when I don't read to them, or when we aren't going someplace, or when I lose my temper, or that I haven't helped Lily have better handwriting (because it's terrible!). And I know that as moms we all experience this kind of guilt, but I have realized that mine is in a sense deeper, or more upsetting to me because I'm holding myself to this level and expectation. And I have a very, very deep fear that something will happen to Lily, or Lance, or Grant and that they will not know how much I love them or have tried to care for them. I know this all sounds a bit irrational, and it is. I'm trying to work through it all, and recognizing how I feel has helped.<br />
I just find it interesting that so many people seem to think that my life with Emily was so far in the distant past, and that I have "moved on" with my life with my three sweet kids, when in reality it seems to be more and more front and center of my thoughts.<br />
I've thought a lot about why this is, and as I've talked to my therapist/mom about it (thanks Mom!) I've realized that a lot of my "processing" is because my life is in reality truly "moving forward" whether I'm ready for it to or not. Ever since Emily died, and in reality for Emily's entire life, so for 10 years, we have been in "baby mode." We have constantly had the care of a baby for 10 years. And I've never had a child in school full time-Emily should have been getting ready for kindergarten when she passed away.<br />
So we have now reached this stage in our life when we have a child in school full time, and are not looking toward any babies joining us in the future, and I have quiet moments when Grant is sleeping and Lance is playing with his toys that I have been able to think. And my thoughts have gone round and round, as you can see!<br />
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Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-47105998201975717972014-11-25T09:22:00.000-08:002014-11-25T09:22:24.088-08:00GriefEver since August I have been processing a lot of things I didn't realize about myself and really struggling with different things. Things I thought I had "dealt with" years ago have come to the surface the last few months. I have wanted to write about the different things I've been thinking and feeling but haven't quite known where to begin, but I keep thinking that maybe there are other people out there who have dealt with similar struggles, or who will deal with them, or who have friends or family members who are dealing with loss and maybe don't quite know how to reach out to them, or don't realize that maybe they SHOULD reach out to them. So, here goes. I'm going to really try to write a bit every week or so, just to help me process my thoughts a little bit. I don't want to write things and sound judgmental, and I know that a blog is a public forum that anyone can read and then judge, but I hope that if you read this you will temper your judgment of me and try to understand the thoughts and reasoning behind what I write. If that even makes any sense!Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-6686133471634504712014-09-28T21:59:00.001-07:002014-09-29T12:40:18.435-07:00The longest week<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKfH2NuiBP8ZYG3nvHw1jkNOzQWGY867Y9C1tWUzFkc-wiDKqQ96zbOIL4f_ICwRIwvUqo2Vw2rUIQVdiqNxiX5KPn7iMC-UCfZ6U5aCIgLzq4dkizQuCGPQeVas9D12CDf5Tc3poSnzCD/s640/blogger-image-1201563860.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ViLOr31Xmq550BBRRsXmah-6iyI6RUTOBhdL748UscHLIxD_aExzkxd4KMJEq827ANf3ocRjI6XzM2run3Tp9IwlXfVYz8_eYDwVhEIq1fIRmnZX65P0cb1PJzVzaOdxyzbGOclbNYxf/s640/blogger-image--1899806005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ViLOr31Xmq550BBRRsXmah-6iyI6RUTOBhdL748UscHLIxD_aExzkxd4KMJEq827ANf3ocRjI6XzM2run3Tp9IwlXfVYz8_eYDwVhEIq1fIRmnZX65P0cb1PJzVzaOdxyzbGOclbNYxf/s640/blogger-image--1899806005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjneONPXnD9qRheyVYa7338tGy9-jIsq3-EOectMfYEK5yQtM0rGG7wKUDwr2astfUTrJ_15hY-wcodvCaJGTdFlDVjPo7DTKHOayFO9Qn9NHaUFTKu0oJbNVn3gsP3oakPL67XjJIaEcKI/s640/blogger-image-989492229.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjneONPXnD9qRheyVYa7338tGy9-jIsq3-EOectMfYEK5yQtM0rGG7wKUDwr2astfUTrJ_15hY-wcodvCaJGTdFlDVjPo7DTKHOayFO9Qn9NHaUFTKu0oJbNVn3gsP3oakPL67XjJIaEcKI/s640/blogger-image-989492229.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>This week was the longest I've ever been without Robby, alone at home with the kids. We've gone longer before apart but it's when I've been with my mom or something. And I realize that a week really isn't a long time, many women do it all the time, like my mom who did it every other week while we were little. but I figured I'd document it for future reference! </div>
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Robby left Sunday morning and I took the kids to church; it was Grant's first day of nursery! Bedtimes were a mess the first few days. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhZuUpUx9K8Y1vKHz7oQ9qIcp-mhgEYDh3KLtSpVpqPfiRrSwlqv-78bAUg0lj-gM5N7sdKCNA74cPduhr28Fw0k0syUSFmRz2qxGMMhZaMZfEFDkt9m2MPmJB23v4xaNfojK2B6DLgoC/s640/blogger-image-2005868635.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhZuUpUx9K8Y1vKHz7oQ9qIcp-mhgEYDh3KLtSpVpqPfiRrSwlqv-78bAUg0lj-gM5N7sdKCNA74cPduhr28Fw0k0syUSFmRz2qxGMMhZaMZfEFDkt9m2MPmJB23v4xaNfojK2B6DLgoC/s640/blogger-image-2005868635.jpg" /></a></div>
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I really hate doing bed time by myself. And then coming downstairs to a dirty kitchen that I still have to clean. I'm really glad Robby helps with the dishes! And bedtime!</div>
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On Monday we went to Costco; these boys love each other and were so good the whole week. Lance was so good and patient. </div>
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I felt like I should get major points for doing family night on Monday without Robby. We made a warm fuzzy jar and I told them if they filled it up by the end of the week that we would go on a train ride on Saturday. Grant had his own jar because he's really great at giving hugs and the kids wanted to put a warm fuzzy in every time he gave a hug. The warm fuzzy jar really did help them try to be good; bedtime went better once we started it. Lily was my one who really had a rough time with the week in general, and who I was doing it for; she really knows how to push my buttons!</div>
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Tuesday was probably the worst day; it was raining, lily and lance both had soccer and the week was stretching ahead very long! And then at lance's game most of his team didn't show up, and so the other team decided to play all 7 of their players against our team's three. I was annoyed and said something to the other coach and he basically said tough luck. I think we will figure something else out for next year, or Robby or I will coach. Robby is coaching Lily's team this year and having fun. </div>
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Wednesday morning Lily and I hit rock bottom. we were on our way to school and she got mad about not sitting in the stroller and punched me. She doesn't hit other people but does occasionally hit me and I have no patience for it. I wanted to yell or tell her she wasn't going to go to the pizza place in the afternoon but I knew that would ruin her whole day and I have determined to not let her go to school if we are mad at each other. I made that decision when she started kindergarten. So instead I let myself cry, and let her see it and how bad it made me feel that she was so mean. She apologized and felt really sad; she gave me about 5 hugs going into school and kept saying I love you. When she hugs me I try not to be the first to let go. After school she gave me a huge hug and later told me she cried a little bit at circle time. But she was much, much better behaved from then on, and has managed to control her temper and not hit. Some people may have handled it differently but I was glad I didn't lose it in anger and that she seemed to have remorse. </div>
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I let lance stay and play at preschool on Wednesday until 1:00 and Grant took a nap so I was able to have some nice "me" time. I was really upset when I got home from taking her to school so I was glad I had a bit of time to myself!</div>
<img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgM3OvFrWvnRUkrUodXbCPza2_83x0zclZqO1K6Xhcu3z2ts4e6wb50km4E1KwB7XTuA-HA6X8v11fSCLIKovDLJMKyDQ-MFf3ILE-rZi_xa3UMDUuDf81wOO6_56RGpLk8a1uMAqG_76N/s320/blogger-image-245737951.jpg" width="320" /><br />
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On Thursday we surprised lily at school for lunch. She is my kid who just needs lots and lots of attention so I think it was good for her. And of course the boys love it .</div>
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On Thursday afternoon my friend took the older kids so Grant and I had fun making cookies together. </div>
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And then I went to back to school night while my friend watched the kids. I really need to help lily with her handwriting! I lover her pictures though! </div>
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On Thursday night I found some old pictures of Emily; it was really good for me to reflect on where I've been and how blessed I am; when this picture was taken we had been trying to get pregnant for a year after a miscarriage and I really didn't know if we'd ever be able to have more kids. I look at my three sweet kids now and it amazes me. I would have never thought! I also reflected on the time Emily and I had; I was thinking about her hip surgery and being in that terrible spica cast. We had her have that surgery because we thought it would eventually help her walk (in a walker with lots of support) and do things like that, and then she passed away 6 months later. I've wondered why we felt good about doing that surgery that was so invasive for Emily if she was going to die so soon afterward. And this week I had the thought that maybe that surgery wasn't for Emily so much as it was for Robby and I and also our family and those around Emily. For me to learn what I'm capable of-I was 7-8 months pregnant with Lily at the time and it was tough! And for people to have the chance to give service to us and to Emily. My mom came from Turkey to be there to help me; I don't think she would have been able to have had that time with Emily and then come again when I had Lily if it wasn't for something as major as that surgery. So I now feel better about having had Emily had that surgery. Though I still don't understand all the reasons! </div>
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On Friday night we went to panera bread for dinner and then mcdonalds ice cream while we got gas. I hate not being able to pump my own gas sometimes, but it was really nice to just sit there and eat my ice cream cone while the Costco guy filled up the van and told the kids they had a very nice mommy for getting them ice cream! </div>
<img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9tq9zT9U88qrWhByywY7xNOvjHgMjcuCmpbLecVydNVFdyKbYwQUh3_r0d-bJFZf_I2MUTQg26k0EEM23xr5GCn_l8Se3S96zuSauWyi5qlgqzNbqB3QnVG47moUBEccBEfdhUCy1P2P1/s320/blogger-image--483427282.jpg" width="320" /><br />
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And then Saturday lily had her soccer game and then we saw daddy!</div>
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When I saw Robby my first thought was that we were now back together and then I felt like I was hit by a truck, thinking of my Emily and how we aren't all together. It wasn't even a thought so much as it was this wave of emotion. It really struck me off guard. I had been so prepared to just be happy to see Robby, I really didn't expect it to be so bitter-sweet. I became so emotional; I later lost it. I just miss my Emily. </div>
<img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbgFkpUQZu3E5Ldq4aBIwetVFjdRfvprZ-s40ffLyd1h8LzG4KV2tO521tfEys2nhZjNRHUBvXC2gOLsGca-WqKyKui_VhOlIJHguxBz8bTeFV2J7oWxVR60GGXES552Cfhe2xDKPYXoN-/s320/blogger-image--13458727.jpg" width="320" /><br />
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And today lily and I had a tea party-lily had earned her Elsa dress that I had gotten months ago by being good for at least the second part of the week! We made it through and I once again thought of all the single moms I know. I sure hope that I can support them and not judge. It wasn't easy, and I at least could count on Robby to talk to us and the kids at night and tell me I was doing a good job, etc. I really hope I can support those moms who don't have that in their life, for whatever reason. </div>
Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-71513582683618661892014-09-14T21:12:00.001-07:002014-09-14T21:12:36.185-07:00Lance<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAAg9yjYLnnRlBhTrNCW97jd45WSkGaDEj7QvOt47k5Ntx2vbq5M2QGu6uuULlNIx0Y1eZ8HdOgK8Mvsfdz7aUj0L3tHqpWvNkuiRZ6it3wSoHjwcIX5O_t3WrK-Tikp7PkebR76j8pmkG/s640/blogger-image--624909138.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAAg9yjYLnnRlBhTrNCW97jd45WSkGaDEj7QvOt47k5Ntx2vbq5M2QGu6uuULlNIx0Y1eZ8HdOgK8Mvsfdz7aUj0L3tHqpWvNkuiRZ6it3wSoHjwcIX5O_t3WrK-Tikp7PkebR76j8pmkG/s640/blogger-image--624909138.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoU10LidT7wMij4zePxkydqPFmfMRLtkBK7urWKyj6cuFHHXcbpOiJPw-3LW9aSVgSeIkClZB_AsAy9eye2hnHJ3sZ-lM1-_GS_cGWDi3_vA7HHMm8jkSD3ea0SLPp0U2R-Y2iFP5y1A1C/s640/blogger-image--1990470850.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoU10LidT7wMij4zePxkydqPFmfMRLtkBK7urWKyj6cuFHHXcbpOiJPw-3LW9aSVgSeIkClZB_AsAy9eye2hnHJ3sZ-lM1-_GS_cGWDi3_vA7HHMm8jkSD3ea0SLPp0U2R-Y2iFP5y1A1C/s640/blogger-image--1990470850.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7FrRiKRYZZv8lrRn-8i65xUecea099SwPTqvb0DfjqyKt6orx22BOJJZaeZyun7zXk8lO7dQkKEBV0PeJ8MhUoc8dtxgNZ2Ttd_S9vNMASaJi-iPwZhyphenhyphenDfMlFQ1iSvNNUVVIrjVnHjYJQ/s640/blogger-image-1562071677.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7FrRiKRYZZv8lrRn-8i65xUecea099SwPTqvb0DfjqyKt6orx22BOJJZaeZyun7zXk8lO7dQkKEBV0PeJ8MhUoc8dtxgNZ2Ttd_S9vNMASaJi-iPwZhyphenhyphenDfMlFQ1iSvNNUVVIrjVnHjYJQ/s640/blogger-image-1562071677.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyis6bjQMHCpXQRE9mZhyOYQTrMC05XsJcYInYdJg6S2n6i9bdIrHyb60-bO2rtf9kwO48Shm3wO1rztfcVTkjmn1D0f1kuNoarjRurcWbiMJoFpFg_QbzXo3vjBEEJFAEiifVVsS8Wei/s640/blogger-image--339899668.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyis6bjQMHCpXQRE9mZhyOYQTrMC05XsJcYInYdJg6S2n6i9bdIrHyb60-bO2rtf9kwO48Shm3wO1rztfcVTkjmn1D0f1kuNoarjRurcWbiMJoFpFg_QbzXo3vjBEEJFAEiifVVsS8Wei/s640/blogger-image--339899668.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiT1htlCoEtZyIWjKaBXwI3tSBalPxcr3xUf14LUdpjO5tGGj3ea2jrv-2B0DUj1YaKBfoHP0VGYOmxv5J_iMyT67i8gUiFk5JMr7i1tFlCOHHgfboXjxd669AsM2EUhNqa_aVp0Ex81uo/s640/blogger-image--773340770.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiT1htlCoEtZyIWjKaBXwI3tSBalPxcr3xUf14LUdpjO5tGGj3ea2jrv-2B0DUj1YaKBfoHP0VGYOmxv5J_iMyT67i8gUiFk5JMr7i1tFlCOHHgfboXjxd669AsM2EUhNqa_aVp0Ex81uo/s640/blogger-image--773340770.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>Lance had his first day of preschool this week and his first soccer game. The sad picture is from practice. He got mad at me tonight for Having a bite if his blizzard.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYAkIaZw-yj44iv-qMglLgrUOPgV9QqoBlmVAPijrFub3ktNm-dnI2gVRUmp0NJIoE3DnYFfTs08XerRzDurC0ycdmA8l8D7ey6E2l0zf-zk_77m43n2B8l14grc7mI5LoKZm0cFuK-leS/s640/blogger-image--287893383.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYAkIaZw-yj44iv-qMglLgrUOPgV9QqoBlmVAPijrFub3ktNm-dnI2gVRUmp0NJIoE3DnYFfTs08XerRzDurC0ycdmA8l8D7ey6E2l0zf-zk_77m43n2B8l14grc7mI5LoKZm0cFuK-leS/s640/blogger-image--287893383.jpg"></a></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiT1htlCoEtZyIWjKaBXwI3tSBalPxcr3xUf14LUdpjO5tGGj3ea2jrv-2B0DUj1YaKBfoHP0VGYOmxv5J_iMyT67i8gUiFk5JMr7i1tFlCOHHgfboXjxd669AsM2EUhNqa_aVp0Ex81uo/s640/blogger-image--773340770.jpg"></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyis6bjQMHCpXQRE9mZhyOYQTrMC05XsJcYInYdJg6S2n6i9bdIrHyb60-bO2rtf9kwO48Shm3wO1rztfcVTkjmn1D0f1kuNoarjRurcWbiMJoFpFg_QbzXo3vjBEEJFAEiifVVsS8Wei/s640/blogger-image--339899668.jpg"></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7FrRiKRYZZv8lrRn-8i65xUecea099SwPTqvb0DfjqyKt6orx22BOJJZaeZyun7zXk8lO7dQkKEBV0PeJ8MhUoc8dtxgNZ2Ttd_S9vNMASaJi-iPwZhyphenhyphenDfMlFQ1iSvNNUVVIrjVnHjYJQ/s640/blogger-image-1562071677.jpg"></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoU10LidT7wMij4zePxkydqPFmfMRLtkBK7urWKyj6cuFHHXcbpOiJPw-3LW9aSVgSeIkClZB_AsAy9eye2hnHJ3sZ-lM1-_GS_cGWDi3_vA7HHMm8jkSD3ea0SLPp0U2R-Y2iFP5y1A1C/s640/blogger-image--1990470850.jpg"></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAAg9yjYLnnRlBhTrNCW97jd45WSkGaDEj7QvOt47k5Ntx2vbq5M2QGu6uuULlNIx0Y1eZ8HdOgK8Mvsfdz7aUj0L3tHqpWvNkuiRZ6it3wSoHjwcIX5O_t3WrK-Tikp7PkebR76j8pmkG/s640/blogger-image--624909138.jpg"></div>Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-71796710215021981262014-09-07T22:15:00.001-07:002014-09-07T22:15:15.851-07:00Answered prayersRobby was at the BYU-Texas Football game this weekend and was scheduled to fly out of San Antonio tonight, flying through Phoenix and getting in to portland around 11. He got a text during church saying his flight was four hours late leaving San Antonio, which of course would mean he would miss his connection. They then changed it to about an hour but he only had a 45 minute layover. He went to the airport to figure things out to see if he would need to stay in San Antonio tonight. He sent me a text saying it wasn't looking good. I thought about asking the kids if they wanted to say a prayer to help daddy and almost didn't but then decided to, and if he didn't make the flight that it would be ok, they'd learn that sometimes the answer is no. I had already told the kids he might not make it home until tomorrow. I told them we could say a prayer that if it was possible he could make it tonight, but made it clear that it might not happen. Lily said the prayer and it was the sweetest prayer-she prayed that if Daddy had to travel all through the night that he would be safe and that if he had to come home tomorrow that he would be safe but that if he could, could he please come home tonight (and be safe!). I texted Robby and told him she had said a prayer for him. I got a call from Robby about a half hour later and he told me that while he was talking with the southwest guys and they were telling him he'd have to stay in San Antonio, that they got word from Phoenix saying that they would hold the flight for them (good old southwest will do that sometimes). Other people had already changed their flights but Robby hadn't yet. He told me to tell Lily thanks for her prayer. He had to run to a different terminal once he got to Phoenix but he made it! I told lily when I put her to bed that he'd made the connection and that I really thought that it was because of her prayer. She said another sweet prayer after that saying thank you that he was coming home tonight. <div> It made me think how grateful I am that Heavenly Father will let children have these simple experiences of having their prayers answered. I hope that it will help her know that he does hear her prayers, even if she doesn't always get the answer she wants. When Emily passed away one of the things that really helped me was to remember all the times prayers were answered over the course of her 4 1/2 years on her behalf and she was strengthened or healed. It helped me know that Heavenly Father did hear my prayers, the answer was just different this time. So tonight I'm grateful for the reminder from my little girl that prayers are heard and answered. </div><div><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Cq2qxTroMkc6JGsIxPK7h3v9SohgMoDsMwT8DQ7rKiEy9x5PhG87s7AJ5s78Og79Xp08xaqzaBc6ox_Oc5YpDeqxYGqoGSa5iW8b_qXOh1cr7HPrmXHYwXdAc9ukeKxm2c7mvjRHaoxa/s640/blogger-image--224000651.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Cq2qxTroMkc6JGsIxPK7h3v9SohgMoDsMwT8DQ7rKiEy9x5PhG87s7AJ5s78Og79Xp08xaqzaBc6ox_Oc5YpDeqxYGqoGSa5iW8b_qXOh1cr7HPrmXHYwXdAc9ukeKxm2c7mvjRHaoxa/s640/blogger-image--224000651.jpg"></a></div></div></div></div>Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-25595416527249241382014-08-03T20:47:00.000-07:002014-08-03T20:47:09.558-07:00Emily's Tree and Emily's BirthdayThis year we did things a little bit differently for Emily's birthday, since we were in Utah for Sarah's wedding. Normally we watch vidoes (which we did the day before this year) and release balloons and get a new book. I still got a book but since we were going to be up in the mountains up Big Cottonwood Canyon at Solitude my mom had the idea to plant a tree for Emily instead. It was the day our family reunion was starting and we were going up to a campground to have a cookout, so my dad met everyone in the condo where they live (until they figure out what they are doing with the house, etc) and gave a sweet speech to the kids about planting a tree for Emily, which made me get all teary. It was her 10th birthday. And then we all hiked up until we found a spot to plant it.<br />
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All the kids took turns digging the hole for the tree. It's a beautiful Blue Spruce. <br />
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We hiked up to it a few days later to water it. Hopefully it stays for a long time. I'm excited to go back and see it and I really felt like Emily was happy to have the whole family together and to have that done on her behalf.<br />
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Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-32964214860937655492014-08-03T00:33:00.001-07:002014-08-03T00:33:23.120-07:00PrayersTonight at bedtime I told lance to say his prayers. He said "I lost it" and then reached under his pillow and said "I found it" and pretended to put it back inside his head and said "Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Please help us sleep good. Please help us eat good. Thank you that Emily will come alive again someday. In the name of Jesus Christ amen." And then he said "aren't you glad that Emily will come Alive again someday mom?" "I am too but we all die right? But not for a long time. Will bad guys kill us?" I told him I hope not! And then he started talking about other stuff. He is just so funny. <div><br></div>Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-84271628804437081432014-07-18T23:24:00.001-07:002014-07-20T17:18:25.667-07:00I think I might be crazyI've decided to run a marathon in September. September 13 in mount Angel, OR, the Oregon marathon. And I'm not quite sure why. One day I felt really good and had the time about a month ago so I decided to run 11 miles. I'd ran 8 the week before and wanted to run a little more and figured why not? <div><br><div> I've ran one marathon and that was five years ago , 4 months after Emily died. It was for such a huge reason and I felt such a connection and such meaning running it that I've been afraid to try to run another one. I trained with my best friend In Texas, and those training runs helped me through those four months. They gave me a reason to get up in the morning. And I ran the race with Janica, which was amazing. I had always promised Emily I would run one, when she was coming of the ventilator the respiratory therapist compared the settings they had her on to test her like running a marathon. I had promised her then if she could do it that I would run one someday. </div><div><br></div><div>I think one of the reasons I want to do it now is to just beat that fear I have of doing another one! And to have to do it alone; running that long gives you a lot of time to doubt yourself if you let it!</div><div><br></div><div>I ran 17 miles on Thursday, having worked my way up from 11 to 13 to 15. 17 felt like a big deal; I was so nervous I kept waking up on Wednesday night. But I had decided that I would use part of my run to remember Emily and the events of when she was born. I spent the first 11 miles listening to the Well of Assention and then decided to turn on my music and think about Emily. I was amazed at how my emotions came flooding back, I think maybe because I was running and away from distractions I could really focus. It was really good for me to have that chance. And I ran it at a 8.35 mile pace; my last few miles were each at an 8 minute mile. So that was a nice bonus. I was pushing myself but it was nice to know I could. </div><div><br></div><div> And then the next day I swam for 45 minutes, which I was also proud of myself for-the first ten minutes I thought I was going to die! I haven't swam in 2 years and I've never been any good. It wasn't until I decided to stop focusing so much on my breathing and try to think of other things that I was able to relax and get a good rhythm going. </div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></div><div><div> Originally I thought I would try to qualify for the Boston but then I realized that they have lowered their qualification time to 3 hours 35 minutes, which is an 8 min 12 sec mile pace. I don't want to run the whole thing and then be disappointed because I didn't qualify. So my goal is under 4 hours and anything past that is bonus. We shall see how it goes! </div></div></div>Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-48105947100891107752014-06-22T20:23:00.000-07:002014-06-22T20:29:38.905-07:00Called To Serve<div style="text-align: center;">
<span id="goog_488301566"></span><span id="goog_488301567"></span>This post has been on my mind for a very long time, and I just don't know if I express how I'm feeling. But I want to try. </div>
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In our home is this picture. It hangs above our piano where I see it when I go up and down the stairs and every time I play the piano. People see it as they enter the house.</div>
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These are the words of a song that I have always loved, and has become very dear to my heart. </div>
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When Emily was alive she loved this song The year she was a Sunbeam (Age 3-4) at church the kids learned this song. Whenever she would hear it she would kick her legs in her wheelchair and get super excited. Robby and I were her teachers (along with 8 boys and one other girl!) and I learned the sign language and would help her do it when we sang it in Primary (Sunday School) and whenever I played it at home on the piano she would start rolling around back and forth super fast and squeal. I loved it! I honestly thought she must just really love the beat of the song-it has a very strong beat that kids love. The song is typically sung about missionaries; and that is certainly the message that I always heard when I sang it. Here's an example of a video of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing it; with the idea of missionaries. And I love this meaning as well. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc2NfsocZXk">Called To Serve</a></div>
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Here are the Lyrics:</div>
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Called to Serve Him Heavenly King of glory</div>
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Chosen e're to witness for his name</div>
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Far and Wide we tell our Father's story</div>
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Far and Wide His love proclaim</div>
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Onward, ever onward, as we glory in His name</div>
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Onward, ever onward, as we glory in His name.</div>
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Forward, pressing forward, as a triumph song we sing.</div>
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God our strength will be pressed forward ever </div>
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Called to Serve our King.</div>
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Called to know the richness of His blessings</div>
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Sons and Daughters, children of a King.</div>
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Glad of Heart His holy name confessing. </div>
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Praises onto Him we bring. </div>
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After Emily died our bishop came to our house the next morning and went over the funeral arrangements with us. He told us that the Primary children would like to sing-his wife was the person who taught the children the songs, including Emily. He named a song that Emily didn't know but the kids had learned. I didn't say anything but after he left I told Robby I didn't like that idea, and wanted them to sing Called to Serve, since it was Emily's favorite song and the children had learned it that last year in Primary and sang it for the program. I called Shauna Busch and she of course agreed. </div>
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After I had called her back I went on a short run to give me a bit of thinking time. I was thinking of Emily and this song and how much she loved it and the thought came to me that the<i> reason why </i>Emily loved this song so much wasn't so much for the beat, but because the <i>words</i> of the song explained what her mission here on Earth was. She had been chosen before she was born to be a witness of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and help others know His love. And she KNEW it. Through all of her trials she was ever going onward, happy and smiling and bringing peace and happiness to those around her. She knew who she was and she wanted to share it with others. And those who knew Emily would say that she did.</div>
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I really feel like so many of our children with disabilities feel the same way; that they know who they are and what their purpose on Earth is, and that's one of the reasons why they radiate so much love. </div>
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Emily and children like her are my heroes, and so are their parents who so cheerfully and full of love deal with the many trials and heartaches that come with raising a child with disabilities. But I know that with it also comes such great rewards; I will never feel sorry for you! </div>
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My dear friend who gave me this picture is blessed to have one of those children in their home. You just can't help but feel happy when you are around Ryan-I really think one of the reasons is that he knows who he is, even though his body can't quite tell you with words. </div>
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Lily has learned to play the simplified version of this song; and Lance calls it "Emily's Song." I'm so glad we have such a tangible reminder in our home of who Emily is. I'm sure that Emily has heard Lily play it and is proud.</div>
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Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-77053160042914334722014-06-22T18:40:00.002-07:002014-06-22T18:40:17.841-07:00January 2014<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So I'm not quite sure what I'm doing with blogging but I thought I'd try to put some pics on since apparently I haven't done that at all. The kids helped me make an apple pie at Lily's request. Quite fun. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgousKCoQAbZ2adEKoIRz5KQN1a4WtoWzBcFEIeUmn63-0bOrwb3I6-i_Ay8oU4bLhnm8vZ78GOKCBmTrkNoIzZ3E0qdg0hs-lwF4NHuA7L5GFNtuWNGacd5hV0pB9BYttw-vHlXOVGqAO/s1600/IMG_6472.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgousKCoQAbZ2adEKoIRz5KQN1a4WtoWzBcFEIeUmn63-0bOrwb3I6-i_Ay8oU4bLhnm8vZ78GOKCBmTrkNoIzZ3E0qdg0hs-lwF4NHuA7L5GFNtuWNGacd5hV0pB9BYttw-vHlXOVGqAO/s1600/IMG_6472.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Grant learned how to get up on the dishwasher. </div>
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We went to Indian Beach at Echola State Park; It's becoming one of my favorite beaches in Oregon-we've been back 2 other times.<br />
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Grandma came to visit!</div>
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Lily had her first dance recital . </div>
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We went to the Air and Space Museum on Emily's Angel Day</div>
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For Family night we went through Emily's box of special things. </div>
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<br />Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-87160636816633763122014-06-10T08:49:00.001-07:002014-06-10T08:49:39.994-07:00Fishing<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXUr0N6OUtonBwjBKgDvlOTXw0CsGFMcVeZsNWF9Ib5EWOoWVN5iNAOEdMU57IJ-HR-ow59uJzurwArP3oy-ZWm_m1DRiWf-e-3D7KH0Ny7B3j1Ivksztn6EvGzJD7DmEFJ4qRzOwz1_en/s640/blogger-image-1666431896.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXUr0N6OUtonBwjBKgDvlOTXw0CsGFMcVeZsNWF9Ib5EWOoWVN5iNAOEdMU57IJ-HR-ow59uJzurwArP3oy-ZWm_m1DRiWf-e-3D7KH0Ny7B3j1Ivksztn6EvGzJD7DmEFJ4qRzOwz1_en/s640/blogger-image-1666431896.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSb9B21M_HadKZVdHokJC7Oaj5GjC44j6UbH_amVFht7lR7e3Mrn8qsOMlJuCYaZulQOLgIalCZcBvTbq5y5bFViRMvkqrTsclJny4rmzd5YMtrg9USElYMFBIGtntj5VfBDI9xfX8wj86/s640/blogger-image--306225413.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSb9B21M_HadKZVdHokJC7Oaj5GjC44j6UbH_amVFht7lR7e3Mrn8qsOMlJuCYaZulQOLgIalCZcBvTbq5y5bFViRMvkqrTsclJny4rmzd5YMtrg9USElYMFBIGtntj5VfBDI9xfX8wj86/s640/blogger-image--306225413.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Rah3oh-7QIHr0nCxZ3qXwfZH4Cu4mMRYcr0ReIHj4Phig2k8NNTZZRMENLSN3827UGdVY08uft_by0JFs5mDBKVjDj91SPhslUHJElKdob1HEarZ6I9Rjy42RRkKO8qndbyZXxXsCXE4/s640/blogger-image--1381346437.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Rah3oh-7QIHr0nCxZ3qXwfZH4Cu4mMRYcr0ReIHj4Phig2k8NNTZZRMENLSN3827UGdVY08uft_by0JFs5mDBKVjDj91SPhslUHJElKdob1HEarZ6I9Rjy42RRkKO8qndbyZXxXsCXE4/s640/blogger-image--1381346437.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg89aD25a3Ms_Jyz8Yoo3yaUXV03fYhAs1_Z8RD4xGbWy_86M-cDB2lvsEBKIHZ4Usqq9G93NqKeE_Z5YxljRz5acj6j-fSzrbJuNsPwzSwqtgykqP42trtr-dLcTZeFJe2kaFUFMCQOfXJ/s640/blogger-image--1531932347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg89aD25a3Ms_Jyz8Yoo3yaUXV03fYhAs1_Z8RD4xGbWy_86M-cDB2lvsEBKIHZ4Usqq9G93NqKeE_Z5YxljRz5acj6j-fSzrbJuNsPwzSwqtgykqP42trtr-dLcTZeFJe2kaFUFMCQOfXJ/s640/blogger-image--1531932347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZCcH9ICsMekU4TnOY9vu2cklt1YpH7UdERMEQ_K4KWDAqxNvr2Ra6afnYoZ9bk6M46oDD6R7Ix1mhXwslkmQ3h0TTYM_YxXz9pKGzCdsSRd7d8siLSEuWLumJs4uxgR4HGE_U9FeI5Vf8/s640/blogger-image--1228286004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZCcH9ICsMekU4TnOY9vu2cklt1YpH7UdERMEQ_K4KWDAqxNvr2Ra6afnYoZ9bk6M46oDD6R7Ix1mhXwslkmQ3h0TTYM_YxXz9pKGzCdsSRd7d8siLSEuWLumJs4uxgR4HGE_U9FeI5Vf8/s640/blogger-image--1228286004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjdfbh-MbbCRzCwi0V-AOkMNK0Pajg55SZqBhzYXw9iEnSWAXPT79NMyLNpECCWrbzREWh10ZZhEPkoyHz-Ig-Pvab2VM6OG1PjdnI3iVMxXNoEvlA8vP4G0sYs9i4o3cj8raxGftVffIx/s640/blogger-image-304668280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjdfbh-MbbCRzCwi0V-AOkMNK0Pajg55SZqBhzYXw9iEnSWAXPT79NMyLNpECCWrbzREWh10ZZhEPkoyHz-Ig-Pvab2VM6OG1PjdnI3iVMxXNoEvlA8vP4G0sYs9i4o3cj8raxGftVffIx/s640/blogger-image-304668280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>I'm just figuring out how to blog from my phone and apparently I put the pictures in reverse order. Here's lance and lily trying the fish they caught. Not a big fan of lake trout!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguOeK5x2qQXSuV4m_TY04Rb7JGGZDQiSeMr2dCOAUdm4edYnaRA_ussi0d19vNhO8MgVyTHs5KMJMQ-xO5Ftv1xKVy_5qXi6vf8EXgLvwOyYNAO0MxnW6NmTwR4xYXrNGOA3QnYQKhXYi6/s640/blogger-image-2089257758.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguOeK5x2qQXSuV4m_TY04Rb7JGGZDQiSeMr2dCOAUdm4edYnaRA_ussi0d19vNhO8MgVyTHs5KMJMQ-xO5Ftv1xKVy_5qXi6vf8EXgLvwOyYNAO0MxnW6NmTwR4xYXrNGOA3QnYQKhXYi6/s640/blogger-image-2089257758.jpg"></a></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjdfbh-MbbCRzCwi0V-AOkMNK0Pajg55SZqBhzYXw9iEnSWAXPT79NMyLNpECCWrbzREWh10ZZhEPkoyHz-Ig-Pvab2VM6OG1PjdnI3iVMxXNoEvlA8vP4G0sYs9i4o3cj8raxGftVffIx/s640/blogger-image-304668280.jpg">The kids with their haul. </div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZCcH9ICsMekU4TnOY9vu2cklt1YpH7UdERMEQ_K4KWDAqxNvr2Ra6afnYoZ9bk6M46oDD6R7Ix1mhXwslkmQ3h0TTYM_YxXz9pKGzCdsSRd7d8siLSEuWLumJs4uxgR4HGE_U9FeI5Vf8/s640/blogger-image--1228286004.jpg"></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg89aD25a3Ms_Jyz8Yoo3yaUXV03fYhAs1_Z8RD4xGbWy_86M-cDB2lvsEBKIHZ4Usqq9G93NqKeE_Z5YxljRz5acj6j-fSzrbJuNsPwzSwqtgykqP42trtr-dLcTZeFJe2kaFUFMCQOfXJ/s640/blogger-image--1531932347.jpg">Cleaning the fish</div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Rah3oh-7QIHr0nCxZ3qXwfZH4Cu4mMRYcr0ReIHj4Phig2k8NNTZZRMENLSN3827UGdVY08uft_by0JFs5mDBKVjDj91SPhslUHJElKdob1HEarZ6I9Rjy42RRkKO8qndbyZXxXsCXE4/s640/blogger-image--1381346437.jpg">On the boat</div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSb9B21M_HadKZVdHokJC7Oaj5GjC44j6UbH_amVFht7lR7e3Mrn8qsOMlJuCYaZulQOLgIalCZcBvTbq5y5bFViRMvkqrTsclJny4rmzd5YMtrg9USElYMFBIGtntj5VfBDI9xfX8wj86/s640/blogger-image--306225413.jpg"></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXUr0N6OUtonBwjBKgDvlOTXw0CsGFMcVeZsNWF9Ib5EWOoWVN5iNAOEdMU57IJ-HR-ow59uJzurwArP3oy-ZWm_m1DRiWf-e-3D7KH0Ny7B3j1Ivksztn6EvGzJD7DmEFJ4qRzOwz1_en/s640/blogger-image-1666431896.jpg"></div>We went fishing to Haag Lake this weekend and had a great time. They supply poles and a boat for you to go out on and feed you lunch! They also had a raffle and we won 2 fishing poles, a lantern, and a bag of Legos. Not a bad haul! The kids got to go on the boat with Robby and I had to stay behind with Grant, so we went on a nice, hilly run. Crazy hilly! Robby said they laughed hysterically when the boat went fast. <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgppO8Zvb0z6EdQD09jRxgv5NRkhEY_yOnPXkUhlWNE4VZw2XY37HhyphenhyphenPrftUEEt4xcPbULWbaaDD5GgF3Ffk7xKiL0KmAMBRjTWMbkArw9HkPcyt3xoHL-zDAR98t4jB6Z1ORnsLcwHtx_K/s640/blogger-image--256355494.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgppO8Zvb0z6EdQD09jRxgv5NRkhEY_yOnPXkUhlWNE4VZw2XY37HhyphenhyphenPrftUEEt4xcPbULWbaaDD5GgF3Ffk7xKiL0KmAMBRjTWMbkArw9HkPcyt3xoHL-zDAR98t4jB6Z1ORnsLcwHtx_K/s640/blogger-image--256355494.jpg"></a></div>Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-57115514657962907372014-06-10T08:42:00.001-07:002014-06-10T08:42:46.975-07:00Piano<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9toIFGNmRHEDbH5Z97K9Xgm4E6Qaay9PTp_DS2FiU7iZQnsHKLUcOQfM6LMFlBb3bxyBy0b_9aWCVEPJHPBf2xmfD8zLzKmNs2a2MCvLHWrBuSITXXhIonLDWg2QXnpYVhM7CsM12edl8/s640/blogger-image-1559554054.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9toIFGNmRHEDbH5Z97K9Xgm4E6Qaay9PTp_DS2FiU7iZQnsHKLUcOQfM6LMFlBb3bxyBy0b_9aWCVEPJHPBf2xmfD8zLzKmNs2a2MCvLHWrBuSITXXhIonLDWg2QXnpYVhM7CsM12edl8/s640/blogger-image-1559554054.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj367mjwfzviQ64Fw9ee62hG3f3Hm9_LHP1ETvmNz8KaZVW0VQE3L9Dhi1C4Q57s6ZBmHD-_G2hjjPWc5vT0F8HXvBS82EbPXGIlAtZtbpHZOLtPt9ORt9_vwFBV6cIMrRSPHXDjvfxF5ZA/s640/blogger-image-1937412107.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj367mjwfzviQ64Fw9ee62hG3f3Hm9_LHP1ETvmNz8KaZVW0VQE3L9Dhi1C4Q57s6ZBmHD-_G2hjjPWc5vT0F8HXvBS82EbPXGIlAtZtbpHZOLtPt9ORt9_vwFBV6cIMrRSPHXDjvfxF5ZA/s640/blogger-image-1937412107.jpg"></a></div><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9toIFGNmRHEDbH5Z97K9Xgm4E6Qaay9PTp_DS2FiU7iZQnsHKLUcOQfM6LMFlBb3bxyBy0b_9aWCVEPJHPBf2xmfD8zLzKmNs2a2MCvLHWrBuSITXXhIonLDWg2QXnpYVhM7CsM12edl8/s640/blogger-image-1559554054.jpg"></div>I love that lily can play the piano and be in my recitals; it makes my heart happy. She really enjoys playing-I hope it continues! She played Part of your World from The little mermaid. She's wearing aunt Sarah's dress that grandma made .Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-87550468488113149882014-04-17T12:01:00.001-07:002014-04-17T12:01:24.231-07:00Why birthdays are a big deal<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Grant turned one on March 23. It made me sad approaching this day, since he is most likely my last baby and turning one seems to mark the end of the "baby" phase, they turn toddlers so quickly after they turn one. But, I also remember that when Emily turned one it made me a little (a lot) sad because she was still so much of a baby-she wasn't even rolling over when she turned one, and I saw all these other babies learning to stand and walk and didn't know if I would ever have the chance in this life to experience a child doing those things. And now I've had three chances, with lily, lance, and Grant! I'm so lucky!<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbIHFkkjKoiUzJH5PDJLHZE72aJMuvX_3edvFWu4a9cmeRKFwvR3eeVInoKE3cylVeqJOkfqt_ePtKZoeGnjmSK1lHukgnVRq7SdWqRjGpSJitx4nyZ49f5cVaBwBxAEQEFf7zKnEP2OhL/s640/blogger-image-675593529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbIHFkkjKoiUzJH5PDJLHZE72aJMuvX_3edvFWu4a9cmeRKFwvR3eeVInoKE3cylVeqJOkfqt_ePtKZoeGnjmSK1lHukgnVRq7SdWqRjGpSJitx4nyZ49f5cVaBwBxAEQEFf7zKnEP2OhL/s640/blogger-image-675593529.jpg"></a></div>Which brings me to why birthdays are a big deal. There was a post going around about "I'm done making my children's childhood magical" and while I understand some points of it-you should do things for you, not because there is an expectation that things be perfect-I like making a bigger deal about birthdays. Because I had a child who never made it to her next birthday, each birthday my kids make it to is a big deal to me. I have major emotional attachment to the fact that they made it to another birthday. Maybe it's not normal but it's part of losing a child for me, I think. <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0mWxO_eckjNFmYL4MWtlfRErO_Z1C73OFQdpd_0V_bIkGUAdVhxvGcQIswdFsBlrDo-3rI1KdRvjRD_OQdHzNQ3ZiP8LtqPHeQiOf86gZKW1aR75_NFgRwqikkukXrCMmJ_W8bjCZw9qd/s640/blogger-image-2078533304.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0mWxO_eckjNFmYL4MWtlfRErO_Z1C73OFQdpd_0V_bIkGUAdVhxvGcQIswdFsBlrDo-3rI1KdRvjRD_OQdHzNQ3ZiP8LtqPHeQiOf86gZKW1aR75_NFgRwqikkukXrCMmJ_W8bjCZw9qd/s640/blogger-image-2078533304.jpg"></a></div>That being said, I only do what I am comfortable with. For Grant's birthday I had the inspired (seriously, it was inspired-lily needed to feel needed) idea to let lily plan his party. I showed her how to make a board on Pinterest for Grant and how to look at ideas and pin them, and we then went back through her ideas and she decided on the theme, seseme street. Once she decided on that we found more pins on seseme street, and then I helped her pick the ideas that I could execute without losing my mind. <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd3FhszUihzaDXaFxdTyBNLRnz1qNMqkeGN5vFPcxf0Xd8JbO-GtN9V75Z7zL9o0h7EE-VZ_YMB8uUxJlaJuc-nBDdllHFjb-qeC7vokBF36kQ3Gg5WNvdZIoNTiVT7_GTtYdTh9TshW-r/s640/blogger-image-1722701067.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd3FhszUihzaDXaFxdTyBNLRnz1qNMqkeGN5vFPcxf0Xd8JbO-GtN9V75Z7zL9o0h7EE-VZ_YMB8uUxJlaJuc-nBDdllHFjb-qeC7vokBF36kQ3Gg5WNvdZIoNTiVT7_GTtYdTh9TshW-r/s640/blogger-image-1722701067.jpg"></a></div>We all had so much fun making this #1 poster of Grant's first year. <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMd-STuOYuVq8BX0_qOafiWQg610yUXC6ne_P4eD3M0as1nYJf6FiMTB9rrKaaTcEzElZRNFnseqb9s7dtq1wz0SpiTiuYNfKAZ1bRe3yScHVAnbBm8DgB6HReEoVvjsAuBXIO0zhzW8r3/s640/blogger-image-779579049.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMd-STuOYuVq8BX0_qOafiWQg610yUXC6ne_P4eD3M0as1nYJf6FiMTB9rrKaaTcEzElZRNFnseqb9s7dtq1wz0SpiTiuYNfKAZ1bRe3yScHVAnbBm8DgB6HReEoVvjsAuBXIO0zhzW8r3/s640/blogger-image-779579049.jpg"></a></div>Lily decorated his high chair. <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT6EvuKU2Nwdhn-HYABowb4PrTPjD0L11keDXtsgoQ7f7OQ9wNAw9pjeLAmrlYksDxsxyRnaJS55u0h1oSRrNzW3wjJkyRgIIXt1CMF2IjorqMLEIGXw0IqsaM0oXrIsSDAi6Qv22d9Na8/s640/blogger-image--390316342.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT6EvuKU2Nwdhn-HYABowb4PrTPjD0L11keDXtsgoQ7f7OQ9wNAw9pjeLAmrlYksDxsxyRnaJS55u0h1oSRrNzW3wjJkyRgIIXt1CMF2IjorqMLEIGXw0IqsaM0oXrIsSDAi6Qv22d9Na8/s640/blogger-image--390316342.jpg"></a></div>She also drew seseme street characters on the paper plates and hung them from the light .<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjISNbg7qJRMfmoUsewOWgtrT3GTvRHkBY5JQ4WGy3XST6KoHdk2OZTOz7uR6u_rQi9pXKk_gwxHPc5NkYDoQtTmEshdSvYYu7VWrmhXwKYK19QrbSJTMLpXNZGgLw08WVnaigHVOXsQmUl/s640/blogger-image--143389614.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjISNbg7qJRMfmoUsewOWgtrT3GTvRHkBY5JQ4WGy3XST6KoHdk2OZTOz7uR6u_rQi9pXKk_gwxHPc5NkYDoQtTmEshdSvYYu7VWrmhXwKYK19QrbSJTMLpXNZGgLw08WVnaigHVOXsQmUl/s640/blogger-image--143389614.jpg"></a></div>She also drew this Elmo to play pin the nose on Elmo. <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwOIA8zYi6L_pnf5zKTk7VAF5LQXgbYgKhDvo4cHcpEHE0ucsIHiMJ74Patv9GNk4bMwlaHz-gl_HjytLZ4YuRvdKo8gqahrw8M2Hs-drf2bNut8dLo0FOBiW4WL4gHORTsyQao-MCLmvq/s640/blogger-image-80774686.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwOIA8zYi6L_pnf5zKTk7VAF5LQXgbYgKhDvo4cHcpEHE0ucsIHiMJ74Patv9GNk4bMwlaHz-gl_HjytLZ4YuRvdKo8gqahrw8M2Hs-drf2bNut8dLo0FOBiW4WL4gHORTsyQao-MCLmvq/s640/blogger-image-80774686.jpg"></a></div>Grant are tons of frosting and made a good mess. <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivQJFo3fKog0T8dyMNNtsxISQz-d-WqQKNSiI5fk4wmcp9LMLb4NKZgVm3F1ogvB1JKjfueld6xG6OpituY0eFaQyrgbIk5HyegEi-8t-AsYKmV66gno3IERO3zcETovLG_L9WrhYRRL-m/s640/blogger-image--1594509337.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivQJFo3fKog0T8dyMNNtsxISQz-d-WqQKNSiI5fk4wmcp9LMLb4NKZgVm3F1ogvB1JKjfueld6xG6OpituY0eFaQyrgbIk5HyegEi-8t-AsYKmV66gno3IERO3zcETovLG_L9WrhYRRL-m/s640/blogger-image--1594509337.jpg"></a></div>And Janica's family came which was a lot of fun. I love my little one year old!7<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I2M2DACW6tdNWzDx94YH_6aTMbhpBiMnLJw0vJE-m21E_bVNU3fyC8xine79twtx5iLlHKiybUW6vR3kSNc1U3xsGsXX1jzwPUE8J6LYIZM3qO56aQ7_sDuZbcMMpvi0GdsHCi1reJ_v/s640/blogger-image--470650044.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I2M2DACW6tdNWzDx94YH_6aTMbhpBiMnLJw0vJE-m21E_bVNU3fyC8xine79twtx5iLlHKiybUW6vR3kSNc1U3xsGsXX1jzwPUE8J6LYIZM3qO56aQ7_sDuZbcMMpvi0GdsHCi1reJ_v/s640/blogger-image--470650044.jpg"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I2M2DACW6tdNWzDx94YH_6aTMbhpBiMnLJw0vJE-m21E_bVNU3fyC8xine79twtx5iLlHKiybUW6vR3kSNc1U3xsGsXX1jzwPUE8J6LYIZM3qO56aQ7_sDuZbcMMpvi0GdsHCi1reJ_v/s640/blogger-image--470650044.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF8SA0tWj1KusCnxN6v30zfJ5pyxBztehFtUww94HUdYoZXGFugNQMv1XKdI8ATbLxqAji_3FYcEFIQy3fLdIQf79nkoCor24pv2693P6utERw9PyfMnjujMreOtCfxMyvmQXpCkkmTQgN/s640/blogger-image--2058720274.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF8SA0tWj1KusCnxN6v30zfJ5pyxBztehFtUww94HUdYoZXGFugNQMv1XKdI8ATbLxqAji_3FYcEFIQy3fLdIQf79nkoCor24pv2693P6utERw9PyfMnjujMreOtCfxMyvmQXpCkkmTQgN/s640/blogger-image--2058720274.jpg"></a></div></div>Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-69661328214695940102014-01-19T23:04:00.002-08:002014-04-17T16:20:38.664-07:00Emily's Experience on Earth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Robby wrote this in the days after Emily's death. He surprised me at the funeral by reading it during his tribute to her. We read it every year on January 20, her Angel Day. I can't get it to not underline. Sorry!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd9z1eULYOcJU6epK0P3wDTWZ1M6CA3x0HVcghOJbwIBVJhNBFvxK4T6YbkAvhHP7ONu5MP7EqmUDmrlMWMLFfRoTreQFlYLmEiR1EsMtPfgHNiqe9sUXfOzOBTQB9lMGUs8O37NoITU3q/s1600/IMG_1466.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd9z1eULYOcJU6epK0P3wDTWZ1M6CA3x0HVcghOJbwIBVJhNBFvxK4T6YbkAvhHP7ONu5MP7EqmUDmrlMWMLFfRoTreQFlYLmEiR1EsMtPfgHNiqe9sUXfOzOBTQB9lMGUs8O37NoITU3q/s1600/IMG_1466.JPG" height="179" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><a href="file:///C:/Users/Hammond/Videos/May%202011%20Lance%20walking/Documents/crhammond.blogspot.com"><span style="color: windowtext;"><i>Emily’s
Experience on Earth<br>
<br>
Before I was born and I still lived in Heaven,<br>
Heavenly Father explained how life would be.<br>
He said that it would be full of challenges and trials,<br>
But that I would have a family who loves me.<br>
<br>
I would have friends and loved ones who would do all that they could,<br>
To make sure I was joyful and happy.<br>
And when I asked him what my purpose on earth would be,<br>
He smiled, with a tear in his eye, and simply said “You’ll see.”<br>
<br>
My life on earth had a difficult start,<br>
I could no longer see nor hear.<br>
But it didn’t take long to understand,<br>
That my parents loved me so dear.<br>
<br>
They stayed at the hospital for the first seven weeks,<br>
And had faith that I could breathe on my own.<br>
And eventually the wonderful day came,<br>
They were able to take me home.<br>
<br>
I made so many friends along the way,<br>
I was able to learn so many things.<br>
And although I had my share of pain and struggles,<br>
I felt the joy and the love that the Gospel brings.<br>
<br>
I have a Mother, who sacrificed everything she could,<br>
Who did her best to keep me healthy and strong.<br>
I have a Father, who provided me safety and peace,<br>
Who’s whistling and roaring helped me as my life moved along.<br>
<br>
I have a Sister, who loves and cares for me,<br>
Even though she liked to pull my hair.<br>
Who when the time came for me to die in their arms,<br>
Gave my parents peace with her happy stare.<br>
<br>
I have grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins,<br>
Who always treated me as one of their own.<br>
I have classmates, friends, and fellow 18th Chromosome family,<br>
Who reminded me that I’m never alone.<br>
<br>
Through all of my challenges and obstacles overcome,<br>
I began to realize my mission.<br>
There would be so many people whose lives I could touch,<br>
Even without hearing and vision.<br>
<br>
And now I can tell them at the end of my earthly life,<br>
That God has a plan for everyone.<br>
That because of the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ,<br>
We can return to him in glory and perfection.<br>
<br>
Now I can run, and see, and hear,<br>
I can talk, and help, and serve.<br>
I can help others know that the Gospel of Christ,<br>
Will lead them to the happiness they deserve.<br>
<br>
As a final request to all who know me,<br>
As we part, at least for a while:<br>
That when they think of Emily Hammond,<br>
They share with me a laugh and a smile.</i></span></a></span></div>
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Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-27799183164450879942014-01-14T21:59:00.006-08:002014-01-14T22:07:22.300-08:00Emily Likes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Because Emily had multiple disabilities, most of which were quite severe, many times people think of her as a child who couldn't do anything, or who was sick all the time. Sometimes I feel when describing her to people that it sounds like we knew she was going to die very young. Which we didn't. I honestly thought she would be with us much longer than she was, at least until she was 8, hopefully longer. It frustrates me when people say, "You're lucky to have had her as long as you did." I actually have gotten so I kind of want to smack them. Though I know they have good intentions, and so I don't! I can say that I'm lucky, and Robby can say that, but nobody else can say that. If she would have lived a day or until she was 20 it wouldn't have been long enough. I believe in Heavenly Father's plan and that she died when she did for a reason, and so I don't choose to dwell on it, but please don't tell me how lucky I am. By telling me I am lucky to have had her as long as I did makes me feel like I shouldn't be so sad because I'm "lucky." I am lucky to be Emily's mom. Tell me that, and I will agree with you!</div>
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So I wanted people to know a little bit more about what Emily liked, and didn't like. She LOVED deep voices. Her uncle Kacey has a very deep voice and she was always very happy listening to him talk. </div>
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There was a young man in our ward who would bless the sacrament with a very deep voice. Emily always got super excited and alert when she would hear him. it was great! The band on her head is her hearing aid. She had moderate hearing loss without it and heard pretty good with it. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVINTxqIkYvtOfUk7d0zpkt01r8OnJ9P8oVOtGIt9p8EL_EuaX2fUhnhxXeFfoQLQZ7HkFqjW98qbL9_kX1wJCkrzJN6XuZJtwcOQTZA1rDgnIs27i15UujklxhNDJXnPsh1YS3vfcwLPT/s1600/PA080082.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVINTxqIkYvtOfUk7d0zpkt01r8OnJ9P8oVOtGIt9p8EL_EuaX2fUhnhxXeFfoQLQZ7HkFqjW98qbL9_kX1wJCkrzJN6XuZJtwcOQTZA1rDgnIs27i15UujklxhNDJXnPsh1YS3vfcwLPT/s320/PA080082.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Emily loved sugar. She loved candy canes and would suck on them and even hold them. I loved it when she got sticky, just like any other kid does eating a candy cane. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHA93fk4Gl8TyqGt6Lts_Ep50hDvgEy9tUOYsjvVGGU1-QSSeLKCg7Sw4eftlgUx6FIZoF8WXAUqYTqabkirUOxUmQNCo4d5JRjq4ePZbZKHfZkXDNVjbGijadMQsVFGd-1Wp7yhysvzql/s1600/Emily+thru+March+023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHA93fk4Gl8TyqGt6Lts_Ep50hDvgEy9tUOYsjvVGGU1-QSSeLKCg7Sw4eftlgUx6FIZoF8WXAUqYTqabkirUOxUmQNCo4d5JRjq4ePZbZKHfZkXDNVjbGijadMQsVFGd-1Wp7yhysvzql/s320/Emily+thru+March+023.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Emily's most favorite activity of all time was rolling on the ground. She would roll back and forth, back and forth, and when she was 18 months she learned how to roll over. We loved watching her roll across the room. When she was 3, like in this picture, she was also getting up on her knees and rocking back and forth. But she couldn't see very well and so she never really learned to keep her head up. These are her cousins. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoWAf32WdzUq3rn8tUr5n-W0CFVLs8jsQzJA669qxowntblVxRSVBM0V4_bBPc4Oqj-W4fpKPuO-UooO5lUICNtRC_NObXy3PdhRjGWCBsPpw1AdTFo0gZVCrusJzssbcy5WE5wrUhX1P9/s1600/191.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoWAf32WdzUq3rn8tUr5n-W0CFVLs8jsQzJA669qxowntblVxRSVBM0V4_bBPc4Oqj-W4fpKPuO-UooO5lUICNtRC_NObXy3PdhRjGWCBsPpw1AdTFo0gZVCrusJzssbcy5WE5wrUhX1P9/s320/191.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOptZACLzN8ojRksarnnTZ5AlGQuau_v90S3lGa-BI5KHStWhaQF6sIOZ3TZxNAteWA27djLpbFBx5zjAAfDrL3_430l9yb24rD_0Gc9MI0-3Mn7ZcsyCqXwFRbCt1ac7oqCWYtlR4lSK/s1600/196.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOptZACLzN8ojRksarnnTZ5AlGQuau_v90S3lGa-BI5KHStWhaQF6sIOZ3TZxNAteWA27djLpbFBx5zjAAfDrL3_430l9yb24rD_0Gc9MI0-3Mn7ZcsyCqXwFRbCt1ac7oqCWYtlR4lSK/s320/196.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Robby would always roar and whistle in her ear to let her know that Daddy was home, since she couldn't really see. Hearing was her best Sense. She would always get super excited and do this super cute deep laugh, and sometimes roar back. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTumCuw_gAIRFPqalgf1GlR5OyeL8vKTDww81JXtgs81XhKReCeDieTKtp5s2Si_oLjDTcSlW15QpGlqjra0TgDOsAYWTnwpRwwNwTYYUR5cgDr1ACKR4TXLI7ow4nDxn1scyOAfTrGSUo/s1600/608249488_1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTumCuw_gAIRFPqalgf1GlR5OyeL8vKTDww81JXtgs81XhKReCeDieTKtp5s2Si_oLjDTcSlW15QpGlqjra0TgDOsAYWTnwpRwwNwTYYUR5cgDr1ACKR4TXLI7ow4nDxn1scyOAfTrGSUo/s320/608249488_1000.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Emily loved bananas. She would eat bananas and peanut butter all the time. She also loved scrambled eggs and ketchup, and once she was on a high fat-low carb diet to help with her seizures it became scrambled eggs and salsa. She was really good with her signing when it came to eating and could sign Eat, More, Finished, and Milk. She also signed Mom, Dad, hearing aid. She learned to say Da for Dad and Ma for mom, and did say Mom a few times. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVAw9RygmSL2ciTWchvtLeVkT5M2uc9yqbxx97iSuGneyayMJ1fOvmo8Zoj7LGz4nwU_ReuSRoQH_1L27SdQdljLwXafZNVHqmNad4CIMFgVyPvmNY9kquk02EO6LFCCBc4s2q_eOZAYrO/s1600/608251263_1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVAw9RygmSL2ciTWchvtLeVkT5M2uc9yqbxx97iSuGneyayMJ1fOvmo8Zoj7LGz4nwU_ReuSRoQH_1L27SdQdljLwXafZNVHqmNad4CIMFgVyPvmNY9kquk02EO6LFCCBc4s2q_eOZAYrO/s320/608251263_1000.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Emily loved to have her thumb in her mouth, even when she was eating. It seemed to help her to chew her food. And it also was nice when she was doing that instead of grinding her teeth. Which she also loved to do. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjknTnZNd2xehoQosVxhUP010ZO1pJt3vVOLkUcymis3ymDnkxpOkCCzqpX_HYrrcBPKRIH2lMGjJrKMiA5vhF8KSSdySHNNNR2mptWLWTtsYG7g0o-zBshX7nzFMzc1aOO3O0FbQ3RP8mQ/s1600/608251092_1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjknTnZNd2xehoQosVxhUP010ZO1pJt3vVOLkUcymis3ymDnkxpOkCCzqpX_HYrrcBPKRIH2lMGjJrKMiA5vhF8KSSdySHNNNR2mptWLWTtsYG7g0o-zBshX7nzFMzc1aOO3O0FbQ3RP8mQ/s320/608251092_1000.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Emily loved sweets. This picture was taken after my brother John's wedding reception, where she at 3 cupcakes. We were outside and I fed her one and she kept asking for more. I was so excited she was acting like a 3 year old, eating as many cupcakes as she could! She was very hyper afterward (like in this picture). She also loved snickerdoodle cookies, and would help me make them. I would have her help me make cookies by touching and smelling the ingredients. Molassas cookies are great for that. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ_TsRkQzWsPjN9CQsYjMaXhGXD2rh1hjGuOc0yAhIriSbf-iRl_CjWctHV0O2j2QA-lIsLUt8sNGQ_8IgOR5kVc_4cn0VFM0Ap7-UaEASaKfOVz75xB9EfUSduBL08vRVOBk3lm7CoMKN/s1600/608251972_1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ_TsRkQzWsPjN9CQsYjMaXhGXD2rh1hjGuOc0yAhIriSbf-iRl_CjWctHV0O2j2QA-lIsLUt8sNGQ_8IgOR5kVc_4cn0VFM0Ap7-UaEASaKfOVz75xB9EfUSduBL08vRVOBk3lm7CoMKN/s320/608251972_1000.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She would get very messy eating. She was about 20 months in this picture. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOaX-wEHNsJsqk4_gIEtrMuqQLhyZwzIgbmcPLts9imzYdoUSfzpiEgfeFDvfps75rC2kdSGVteAm6ZTk3RwsvpF4fYAZQOITs6xAPc6zxPX6N92Nc6Z-435OAlHQRrjQowyL70GozAmG4/s1600/Emily+thru+March+061.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOaX-wEHNsJsqk4_gIEtrMuqQLhyZwzIgbmcPLts9imzYdoUSfzpiEgfeFDvfps75rC2kdSGVteAm6ZTk3RwsvpF4fYAZQOITs6xAPc6zxPX6N92Nc6Z-435OAlHQRrjQowyL70GozAmG4/s320/Emily+thru+March+061.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She and I made pudding. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxifxy-px-u15J3elIYEwq9IBaU_FIznwlh2FNipXPP-V8_8T9swoZlUFKZFwimW48T_yHbb9ODqI32NVHxUkVEe2YrbZA0zCtMh0BEfOwspKzctAieOan9_1H9aY8G_v_WK1Jm1MgCkQ0/s1600/Emily+thru+March+098.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxifxy-px-u15J3elIYEwq9IBaU_FIznwlh2FNipXPP-V8_8T9swoZlUFKZFwimW48T_yHbb9ODqI32NVHxUkVEe2YrbZA0zCtMh0BEfOwspKzctAieOan9_1H9aY8G_v_WK1Jm1MgCkQ0/s320/Emily+thru+March+098.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixP2ZhB_m4NmRwGG0E3W3cgQEJmUAFXLONGjJ0yUXsYVVdtlVu9BWASbz7La84OgSw1TphN1ALcv_I19omE8Jn_EMMek1hoGIWX6pV2twNMNtmPjcesPJOLu-b70wU0WLxzp-pvm7Z5FHz/s1600/Emily+thru+March+100.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixP2ZhB_m4NmRwGG0E3W3cgQEJmUAFXLONGjJ0yUXsYVVdtlVu9BWASbz7La84OgSw1TphN1ALcv_I19omE8Jn_EMMek1hoGIWX6pV2twNMNtmPjcesPJOLu-b70wU0WLxzp-pvm7Z5FHz/s320/Emily+thru+March+100.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And ate the pudding. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio8EgKC5Yw8lwu9DSdy3LfOshbGU7yBX-Q8ynWSh5xtrT-FCrlNGuDG5gjFEbzhk-E-o_iK6q-YxU2u3kH_UaU9THK_FiQxbYVk81Vk2f2GFgePo0TwfBRQVfYXBE2mIbI6dQ6mW4zA0FC/s1600/Emily+thru+March+101.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio8EgKC5Yw8lwu9DSdy3LfOshbGU7yBX-Q8ynWSh5xtrT-FCrlNGuDG5gjFEbzhk-E-o_iK6q-YxU2u3kH_UaU9THK_FiQxbYVk81Vk2f2GFgePo0TwfBRQVfYXBE2mIbI6dQ6mW4zA0FC/s320/Emily+thru+March+101.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I can't tell you how happy this made me-her rolling to get stuck under the bed. </div>
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I will add more to this list-she loved her Chromosome 18 family, her grandparents, and her primary class, her sister Lily. And hopefully find more pictures. I sure miss her!</div>
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Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-46993495468692283912014-01-14T21:24:00.001-08:002014-01-14T21:24:26.369-08:00Emily as a baby<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This was one of the first pictures of Emily, the day after she was born, July 22, 2004 (my 23rd birthday day)<br />
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July 22, 2004-First family picture<br />
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First bath<br />
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This was when Emily was 17 months-her second Christmas. I loved this dress and so did Emily.<br />
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Emily also loved Candy canes and ate lots that Christmas.<br />
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She was very hyper and talking in this picture, this was on my niece's 10th birthday, December 26, 2005.<br />
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<span id="goog_878098484"></span><span id="goog_878098485"></span><br />Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-51745962542339455872014-01-13T10:31:00.001-08:002014-01-13T10:31:41.255-08:00ResolutionsSo I have a few resolutions I figured I better write down so that they are real.<br />
1. Practice the piano 10 minutes a day. Pitiful, I know. But there are times I go a week without playing other than teaching piano lessons, and I love to play and would really like to get better. And I know I can do 10 minutes.<br />
2. Plan menus each week. just to have a list so I'm not scrambling on what to make for dinner that night. I don't plan per day, just having about 10 menus on hand to choose from is good enough.<br />
3. Read my scriptures before I read a book. This is a hard one for me but I'm trying to get better at it.<br />
4. Teach Lance some kind of preschool. He's just not that excited by it so it's hard to want to do it but I need to do better, especially if I end up homeschooling him for Kindergarten, which if Oregon goes to full-day kinder I am planning on doing. Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-49932632514911575832013-11-14T12:00:00.001-08:002013-11-19T20:43:27.365-08:00My Heroes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Emily and Grandma Chlarson at Parker's wedding</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> The day Emily died</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">After Emily's funeral in Washington</span></div>
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These two ladies, Emily and my Grandma Chlarson, are my heroes. And I love my mamma too! But the last few days my mind has been on my Grandma and my Emily. Grandma has always been my hero; she has been through so much in her life, including losing her husband, two sons, and two granddaughters and I always have looked up to her positive attitude and her spiritual outlook on life. I have so many fun memories of my grandma; she is one funny lady. But the times that have been sticking out in my mind this week are the memories centered around my little Emily. Emily ended up at Primary Children's when she was 10 days old on a ventilator (life support) and the doctors did not know if she would ever be able to come off because she seemed to be having central apnea and was also needing an extremely high amount of oxygen to keep her levels sustained about 90. I remember my Grandma coming to the hospital and she had been a little afraid to see my Emily. I don't think I went in with her, I think my mom did, because I remember her coming out from meeting Emily for the first time and saying, "Camille, she is going to be just fine. I really feel it. I felt so at peace and she has such a strong spirit and I really think she's going to be okay." And I can't tell you how I clung to those words over the next few weeks. Because I had felt the same thing, but everyone kept telling me to think differently. Her faith and strength helped sustain me. And she was right. Emily came off the ventillator when she was 1 month old. I will just always remember that. <br />
The next time I have been thinking about was when Emily was dying. She was in the ICU on life support again, but we were all feeling very differently then we did when she was a baby; it just felt like it was her time to go. I remember feeling like she said, "Mom, I'll stick around if you really me, but I'm ready to go." After spending the night with Emily in the hospital on a Monday night and feeling angels watch over me, Tuesday morning I was full of doubts and fear and grief at the idea of saying goodbye to my baby, my hero, Emily. How could I have peace at the idea of living without her? Robby and I both had felt, after some special experiences and talking at length to doctors, that it was time to let Emily rest, but I didn't think I could do it. I remember coming home from the hospital Tuesday morning to see Lily while Robby went up to spend some alone time with Emily and calling Grandma crying. And I remember her telling me that the peace would come, and that I would be able to feel it and told me about when she had to say goodbye to her mom. I clung to her faith all that day and that evening as I prayed for that peace to come. Robby and I went to the San Antonio Temple which was just up the street from the hospital and as I was there I felt the power of Jesus Christ's Atonement and felt absolutely at peace. It was the most amazing feeling; when we said goodbye to our Emily after getting back from the temple we knew with certainty where our Emily was going and that what we were doing for our Emily was the right thing. And that feeling sustained me through the days ahead. <br />
And then my Grandma came to the funeral up in Washington. I remember being it the Relief Society room, getting ready to close the casket and say goodbye to Emily for the last time here on this Earth. I again didn't think I could do it. And I'm crying as I write this thinking about it. And I remember looking at my grandma and thinking, "She did this, twice, and has been able to be happy. I can do this." And then I sat between her and Robby during the funeral and held her hand; I needed her strength to get me through that day. I knew she knew just how I was feeling. And over the weeks and months and years I was able to call Grandma when I was missing my Emily and talk to her about it and she would share her faith and experiences with me. I just love her so much and I am so grateful that she is now with my Emily. I hope she has given her a big hug and kiss from her mamma and that they both know how proud I am of them. What a lucky person I am to have Grandma Chlarson for my Grandma and Emily as a daughter.Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-28418544295003158452013-11-06T21:44:00.001-08:002013-11-07T17:57:10.641-08:00Finally Family pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We had family pictures done at the end of September. I'm still trying to get them up on my walls. I was really happy with them, though. Lance makes me laugh. He's so much fun. He talks so well and had the best imagination. Sometimes he won't come downstairs because he's a baby dinosaur. This morning he and Robby were firefighters but Robby had lost his hat so he could borrow Lance's. His faces make me laugh. He also has the best pouting face; Robby and i have a hard time taking him seriously when he gets mad at us. </div>
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Grant has a personality so much like Lily it's kind of scary. He's a good baby other than he's not sleeping that great at night these days. He rolls over and will not sit still to have his diaper changed. Every once in awhile he'll cuddle, but not often. He just got his first tooth yesterday and his second one is right behind it. He's 7 months old. <br />
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Lily loves Kindergarten. She is always telling us made up stories that happen, interspersed with real stories so we never know when she's telling the truth. Kind of drives me nuts. We finished reading Matilda tonight-I love that she's old enough to like chapter books. I've always looked forward to reading books like that to my kids. <br />
Robby's very busy at work but it's really nice having him 3 minutes from home. He went to the BYU-Boise game last week and enjoyed the win; last time he was there was the BYU-Utah game. in 2011. Enough said. And I'm heading out to Texas on Friday to make it even as far as trips go!<br />
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I'm hanging in there, contsantly thinking about where I'm failing as a mom and how I need to enjoy this time with my kids because it goes too fast and that I don't do enough with them and that my house is constantly a mess and I'd really like to read a book sometime and I'm not reading my scriptures like I should and I need to get ready for Christmas and the list goes on. But mostly I'm just really happy to be a mom of 4 great kids. I've really been missing my Emily the last few weeks; sometimes it's hard living where people don't know her. I've made good friends here but no one who I've really shared Emily with yet. Really shared her I guess. Which I think will just come with time because there are great people here.<br />
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<br />Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252782713442128573.post-91399496709556420742013-11-06T12:18:00.001-08:002013-11-06T12:18:47.099-08:00Where to start...I am so behind blogging I have no idea where to start. I don't know if I go back and try to catch up or just start from here. And I have so many random thoughts I think about writing down I think I may start a blog called Diarrhea of the brain because I swear I just think dumb stuff all the time but I kind of want to write it down and I don't ever want to share on facebook for fear of people thinking I'm crazy or offending someone. Like, I vaccinate my children because I feel like I'm being a responsible, educated parent for doing so, but then I know that other parents who don't vaccinate do so for the exact same reason. So, who's right? I do splint Grant's vaccines up and some I will wait on but I just think it's so interesting that we can all be so opinionated and swear that we are right and that we have the research to back it up. But our opinions can be totally opposite. See, Diarrhea of the brain. Total rambling. I don't think a family blog is the place for it. So, I will post on here if I ever get around to starting that other blog. Camille Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15486512939928939550noreply@blogger.com1