Emily and Lily Share...

Lily and I have recently done activities that Emily did last year, so I thought I'd make a post about them. Last summer we went to the Houston Children's museum, and the other day Lily and I went to the New Braunfels Children's Museum.

Emily and Robby catching a fish.
Lily liked playing with the cooler and touching the ice.

Here's something they have in common. Neither one likes hats!

Emily and I last summer when I was pregnant with Lily.

Em's trying to eat her thumb, and Lily's trying to eat her book. Neither one are interested in taking a picture with their mom.

We went to the zoo this week. Lily's mad in this picture that I won't let her crawl around.

We went with both girls in October.

Emily was able to go horseback riding for therapy. She really enjoyed it.

Lily got to ride a pony on Saturday. She wasn't sure what to think, but she did like petting him.

Emily's Birthday

We were able to start some nice family traditions for Emily's birthday yesterday. I made breakfast tacos in the morning, because Emily loved scrambled eggs and salsa, but after making them I decided next year I'll honor her better by buying them at Taco Cabana! The day went as well as it could be, I think. It was hard, but it was nice to remember all of the fun times we had with Emily. I looked through all of our old pictures and we watched a video from when Emily was one. We showed Lily how much Emily liked to roll. Lily liked it too! I bought a Caldacott award winning picture book for Lily, because now Emily can enjoy the pictures with us. (Emily was blind-she could see some colors but not pictures).

It looks like Lily is being so attentive, but really this is the only page she looked at before she decided she was done!

We decided to release balloons for Emily's birthday, and then I remembered that for Christmas I had given Emily the book "Emily's Balloon." I had searched and searched for a book with Emily's name that I could give her for Christmas, and this one was perfect because it was about a little girl who had a yellow balloon, and yellow is the one color we knew Em could see. I read Emily the book almost every night from Christmas until she passed away in January. So we read it last night before we released the yellow balloons.

Lily was kind of tired, and didn't really get the balloon release until the last one, which she actually watched float all the way up. This one was the 2nd, and she didn't get it yet!

We gave Lily a ride for the first time in Emily's wheelchair. She wasn't sure what to think of it!

Daddy showing Lily how to roll. She thought it was quite fun!

This has nothing to do with Em's birthday, but it was very funny. Lily had pulled this car out from it's parking spot and was hitting it, so I put her in it to give her a ride. Any time that I would stop moving she would do this fake cry. It made me laugh, and I had to get a picture!

We went to a friend's house over the weekend for dinner and Lily had strawberries and avacado in a little chewer thing that she can gum to death. She was quite content and would cry any time she was out of strawberries. She later had a bath! And amazingly, the dress did get clean.

We Miss Emily!

Tomorrow will be 6 months from when Em passed away, and Tueday is Emily's 5th birthday. It's a rough few days. I thought I'd put some pictures on from when Emily was born. I don't like thinking about that time too much, because it was really, really hard.

Emily was born full term at 5 pounds, 8 ounces. We didn't know anything was wrong, but I had a gut feeling something was when I was pregant. Em had a hard time breathing, and we shortly discovered that she had heart defects. We also had a nasty doctor who told us all the things Emily might never be able to do. We've always said that we need to sent a picture of Emily to her. She was at Utah Valley in Provo in the NICU, and at 10 days old they sent her to Primary Children's Hospital in Utah and she ended up on a ventillator for 3 weeks. We were told there that she had a stroke and would most likely never be able to come off the ventillator. Oh, how she proved them wrong! And that's what she spent her life doing. She came home from the hospital after 7 1/2 weeks, on September 12. She was on oxygen and had a NG tube in her nose because she had a hard time drinking. I discovered that if I bounced her and rocked her back and forth all at the same time that she was able to drink, and we were able to get rid of the NG tube after she had been home a month.

Emily came off oxygen at 5 months. She just needed less and less, until eventually she didn't need it anymore.

This is one of the first pictures of Emily. She's I think 3 days old in this picture. It's her first outfit.

Emily's first bath. She was very content!

I love this one. She was just so cute and tiny!

This was when Em was 9 days old-the day before she ended up in Salt Lake. She was a daddy's girl from day one.

This was one of the top 5 happiest days of my life-the day she came off the ventillator. She's wearing bipap, which looks worse than it is! It was the day that we knew she was going to make it. I can't even describe that feeling. My sister said it was the first time she saw me smile in a month. Mom went home this day, but I was so glad she got hold Emily before she left.

This one below is our first happy family picture. Emily was getting close to coming home, and Robby and I went up to see her before going to a BYU-Norte Dame football game. We weren't allowed to stay at the hospital, so we would go home around 5:00 every day and come back in the morning.

Emily really seemed to like this bunny. It was so great to see her using her eyes!

This was the day we brought her home. We posed for a picture to put on the NICU wall. I used to see all the pictures on the wall of the babies who got to go home and hated it, because I knew that some babies didn't get to go home.

This was right after we got home from the hospital. Janica came over with Ryan and Kacey. Kacey's taking the picture.

This was Em's first bath. It was tricky to do with all the chords, let me tell you!

Robby's mom came and helped the week Em came home from the hospital. Emily looks more like Grammy than anyone else, which is why she and Lily look alike-they both take after Robby's mom.

This was our first Sunday home from the hospital. We didn't take Emily to church, but I really wanted to dress her up! This dress was mine, and Lily wore it on her first Sunday, too.

Emily checking out her crib, her first day home.

Lily's Tricks

This month is kind of a tough one. On the 20th it will be 6 months from when Emily died, and the 21st is Emily's 5th birthday. She was due on my birthday, but I was induced the day before. We've thought of some things that we'll do for Em's birthday-I want to make it a day of doing things that Emily liked to do. I went and visited her teacher today, who taught her for 2 years, and when I told her some of the things we thought of, like eating scrambled eggs and salsa (breakfast tacos) and she said, "Well, you have to roll!" I just laughed, because she's right-that was what Emily loved to do more than anything else-roll back and forth and back and forth as fast as she could. So I think we'll have to show Lily how much fun rolling is on Emily's birthday. Too bad we don't live by a nice, grassy hill like they have in Washington!

Lily's been doing great, though today she only took one 1 hour nap-what's up with that? She pulls herself up on everything and has just started to figure out how to walk along things the last few days. Some of her favorite places in the house are the bathrooms-she loves to pull herself up and look into the bathtub, and Emily's bed. I change her on it, and as soon as she can get away from me she pulls herself up along the windowsill and walks down to the foot of the bed.

Lily loves to stick her tongue out. She's heading over to the books to pull them all out.

Lily crawls under anything she can. This is one of her favorite spots to crawl under and then pull herself up on.

If you click on this picture to enlarge it, you can really see her two bottom (and only) teeth.

This is another new Lily trick-carrying things around in her mouth. It's pretty funny to watch.

Here's the smile!

Lily loves to bang on Robby's drums. She also drums on EVERYTHING she pulls herself up on.

This Made Me Think of Miss Em

I was just looking for something for girl's camp in The Friend ( a church magazine for children) and saw a picture of a little girl in a wheelchair, and had to read the story. When I read it, it made me smile and cry a little, because it reminded me of Emily. During church she loved music, and would get so excited during singing time. I just thought it was short and uplifting, so I thought I'd share it.

C. J. Gudmundson, “Smiles to Share,” Liahona, Jun 2009, F8–F9
Based on a true story“Be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you” (D&C 68:6).

“What did you learn in Primary today, Sasha?” Mom asked as they drove home from church.
“Sister Duffy taught us about special gifts called talents,” Sasha said. “She said Heavenly Father gave us all talents so we can help others. She said when we share our talents, it makes people happy.”
“That’s right,” Mom said. “Jesus taught that we should use our talents to serve others.”
Sasha sat quietly for a moment, staring out the window. “But, Mom, what about Lauren?” she asked.
“What about her?” Mom asked.
“Well, she can’t talk, and she’s in a wheelchair. What kinds of talents does she have that can help others?”
“What is the first thing you notice about Lauren when you see her?” Mom asked.
Sasha thought for a minute and then said, “Her smile. Lauren is always smiling.”
“That’s right,” Mom said. “What else?”
“She’s always laughing. Especially when we sing or she hears the piano. She always gets so excited. And she loves to blow kisses to people.”
“How do you feel when you are with Lauren?” Mom asked.
“Happy. I always feel happy when I’m around Lauren,” Sasha said.
“Me too,” Mom said. “That is one of Lauren’s talents. She shares love and happiness with everyone around her. That is one of the most special talents of all.”
“We are here to accomplish something, to bless society with our talents and our learning.”

Favorite Washington Places

We had a great time in Oregon and in Washington. I miss the ocean so much! I just love it there. I want to retire to the Oregon coast and run a bed and breakfast. This is at Cape Perpetua, Oregon, where Robby and I went on our honeymoon. This is the day before the race.

Janica and I getting dropped off for the start of the marathon.

My happy dance, I guess. I was a little hyper. This was about 2 miles into the race.

Coming across the finish line.

Janica and I at the finish.

Robby and Lily cheered us on.

Janica's little girl and Lily. You'd think having twin sisters as mom's, the girls would look more alike!

My first night at home we went and had a salmon cookout at Birch Bay State Park. It was Copper River Sockeye, which is so, so yummy. This is my mom, dad, and Lily at the beach.

Aunt Sarah and Lily at the beach. I have a lot more pictures on Facebook. Way too many to put on the blog!

I grew up seeing these sunsets. I really, really miss it. This is just 10 minutes from my house.

For my dad's birthday we drove up to Nooksack Falls. It's always a humbling sight. The snow is melting quite a bit up top, so the river was really full of water.

Mount Shuksan from Mt. Baker Ski are. This is looking toward the beginner runs. This is where I grew up skiing every weekend.

This is The Chute. I grew up skiing this run. I also slid down it once, from the top to the bottom. It's right underneath the chair lift, so it's kind of embarrassing when you fall, because everyone can see you!

Sitting on Chair 1. The Chute is behind us.

We went over to San Juan Island, and got to ride the ferry. This is Mt. Baker behind us.

Lily loved playing with Grandma and Grandpa. More than she liked me!

This is in my backyard, at the waterfall that my brother Steve built. Dad and Lily would go out and sit by it. She loved it. Being home was great, although it really made me miss Emily. I used to go home with Emily during the summer and let her roll around in the nice soft grass (Texas grass is not soft) and take her too all the places that I took Lily.

It's now over 100 degrees here in Texas. I really miss the beautiful Washington and Oregon weather. Lily is very busy, pulling herself up on EVERYTHING. She still won't say mama. She and I have been going swimming, trying to stay cool. Oh, at least we're going home again in 6 weeks! Last year I was pregnant all summer, so I guess I can't complain.

We Did It!

Janica and I ran our first marathon on Saturday, in Newport, Oregon. It was an amazing experience for me. I'll post pictures in the next day or so. Here's a link where you should be able to see us at the finish line. http://aep.exposuremanager.com/p/nm09_45/under45_14534 Thre's 2 pictures after that one of us, too. The race was right on the coast, and followed the water the entire way. We had perfect weather. I was lucky, and felt really good for the whole race. My legs were tired at the end, but no bad knees or anything like that. Janica's right leg was bothering her, which was a bummer for her, but we felt good about how we did overall. Our final time was 4 hours 11 minutes, and from mile 15, where we turned around to head back to the finish line, no one passed us, but we passed quite a few people. Our 2nd half was actually faster than our first, I think due to less bathroom breaks. As we crossed the finish line I was laughing and crying. I was quite unprepared for how emotional I was! I haven't felt like that since Lily was born. Lily was obviously the more important, bigger, better event, but the way I felt as far as my emotions was similar. I started training for this right after Emily died, and I think that had a large part to do with how emotional I was at the end. I think that she was cheering us on. And we had so many people there at the end-Robby, Lily, Janica's family, Robby's sister and her husband, his mom and her friend, and my parents and sister Sarah. I think it doesn't matter what it is or the distance of the race, that feeling of accomplishing a goal is just a great feeling. Thanks for all the encouraging words!