Hammond Family

Playing catch up

2012-02-12T16:23:00.000-08:00

We've had a good month and a half since Christmas. Lily and Lance got their first "real" hair cuts last week. This was that night.

This is Lily's attempt at smiling as she's getting her hair cut.

When you live in Texas, you live for the winters. Winters here are seriously like late spring and summer in Washington. We try to spend as much time as we can outside, and have been discovering some new parks.

Our ward had a Valentine's Day dance on Friday. It was a lot of fun, and Robby danced with me and acted like he enjoyed it, so bonus for me! We met at a dance, which always just strikes me as funny because it's not necessarily his favorite thing to do. And this picture is post-LASIK. My big adventure to start off the new year was to get LASIK! It has been great, especially waking up in the middle of the night and being able to see, and exercising. I can't wait to go swimming! I am ready for the halos and glares to go away at night; driving can seem a wee bit dangerous.

Lily is in gymnastics, which has been really fun for me to watch. Lance always wants to join in the fun, which makes it tricky, though. I think next week she's going to start soccer; there's some moms who have started a league, so we'll see how that goes.

In other news, I've been collecting blankets and coats to send to Afghanistan. My ward is helping, and hopefully we'll get things mailed out in the next few days. My piano room is taken over by coats, gloves, hats and blankets. People have good hearts, and I'm glad it will help the kids there. If you are wondering more about it you can go here. It's my parents' blog.

Mourning

2012-01-29T21:29:00.000-08:00

I just read this and wanted to share before bedtime. I read a book by Elder Russel M. Nelson where he also talks about this. It just makes me feel better. And I feel like it's a good response to people who say, "at least you know you'll see them again."

Mourning

Irrespective of age, we mourn for those loved and lost. Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love. It is a natural response in complete accord with divine commandment: “Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die.” (D&C 42:45.)

Moreover, we can’t fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.-Elder Nelson

Families Can Be Together Forever

2012-01-23T20:34:00.000-08:00

Tonight when I was putting Lily to bed I asked her what song she wanted me to sing, and she said the Families Home Forever Song. So I sang Families Can Be Together Forever, and then she told me she knew the words, and sang it back to me. It's

"1. I have a family here on Earth, they are so good to me. I want to share my life with them through all eternity.

(Chorus) Families can be together forever, through Heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family, and the Lord has shown me how I can, the Lord has shown me how I can.

2. While I am in my early years I'll prepare most carefully, so I can marry in God's temple for eternity."

I then told her that this song means that because Mom and Dad got married in the temple, even after we die, that Lily belongs to Mommy, and Mommy belongs to Daddy, and Daddy belongs to us and Emily and Lance belongs to us always, no matter what.

She put her arms around me and said, "Oh, that is so cool!"

It totally cracked me up. But she's right, it is so cool!

Angel Update

2012-01-22T13:41:00.000-08:00

We had a very nice Angel Day; thank you for all the well wishes; on the blog, in person/phone and on Facebook. My eye surgery went well, and was a great distraction; my first thought on Friday morning was about my eyes-"can I see?" and then I remembered the day. When I went in to Lily to get her up I asked her what day it was and she wasn't sure. I told her it was Angel Day and asked her if she knew what it meant. She said, "It means I get to see Emily today!" I'm not sure if she saw her, but I do know that Emily was close that day.

Later in the afternoon, after a busy morning and early afternoon, we looked at our photograph albums of Emily. Lily kept wanting to read the "Angel Book." I don't have an angel book, but I do have Robby's poem as a book with pictures, so I told her we would read it when Robby got home. (We were already planning on doing that) She listened to the whole thing.

Before Robby got home, after we'd looked at pictures, Lily disappeared and came out of her room wearing a purple shirt, purple tutu, and purple wings; an outfit I had never showed her before, and said, "Look Mom! I'm an angel like Emily!"

Someone drop off a little angel pin and flowers, which was very sweet.

I was amazed at the difference just calling the day "Angel Day" made. I think it helped for two reasons. The first, is that it made it celebrating the beginning of something, rather than the end of something, though of course we are mourning that she's not here. But it made me think that it's the beginning of next mission, and that's a nice thought. I think the other reason it made it a bit easier, is that it made it easier for other people to express their well wishes. Asking how someone is doing on the anniversary of when their loved one died can be a little uncomfortable, because you don't want to make them feel bad. At least that's been how I've felt. So it was nice that people could ask me how our Angel Day was, and I knew what they were asking. I'm thankful for my little Emily, and that others remember her, too.

Angel Day

2012-01-18T18:31:00.001-08:00

Friday, January 20th is Angel Day in our house. I saw this on a blog a few weeks ago and decided I had to begin using it. It has such a better connotation than their "Death Day." So from now on we will remember Emily's Angel Day on January 20th and her Birthday on July 21st. This is three years from when she passed away. Tomorrow I am having LASIK eye surgery, which I am super excited for, and then Friday is a crazy busy day, and I wanted to make sure I remembered little Emily on our blog, since I'm not sure how much I'll be up for typing/seeing the computer on Friday.

I was looking through pictures of Emily the other day and saw these that my father-in-law took. I love how he took them of her rolling; you can actually see the blur of her hands from how fast she moved!

And then over to her sister. This was a common occurance. They were always on the floor together. Lily didn't really start rolling a lot until a month after Emily passed away.

I love how Emily's hand is open and on Lily's leg. I had really never noticed this picture before.

This was also common-both out! Emily would be rolling around and then would just crash. These were all when Lily was about 3 months and Emily was four, about 2 months before she passed away.

Lily has really been missing Emily. Last week she kept saying, "Can I please go to Heaven to see Emily, Please?" Tonight in her prayer she asked that Emily could come and hug her. I like to think that Emily does! I love how Lily knows she has a big sister, though. When we had a friend over who had a big sister she was very emphatic that she has a big sister, too.

A few weeks ago she was watching a video of Emily and turned around to Lance and said, "Remember our sister Emily, Lance? Remember her?"

This year leading up to Angel Day has been a bit easier than in years past. I think having my eye surgery right before it has made it so I've also been able to think about that. And honestly, I just don't like thinking about when she died, and I try not to. If anyone wants to read about it it's back in January/February 2009 on this blog. I don't know how to post the link. But I don't want to go over it; it's too hard. I'm lucky that I have happy, positive memories I can focus on. On Monday night for Family Night we went through Emily's box, showing the kids her hearing aid, how she ate with her bottle and her gtube, her growth hormone shot, her braces, her little snuggly blanket, her first haircut, etc. It was fun to be able to show them things about their sister, and we will make that a tradition when Angel Day is near. Then on Friday we will read the poem Robby wrote when she passed away.

I looked at the guestbook that people had signed, both here in Texas and in Washington from the funerals. So many people came from so far away, and people who have since moved who have been such a part of our life. We so appreciated the love we were given and have been given since.

It's hard sometimes; I see my friends, especially those who have children with disabilities or health challenges, and I think how hard and challenging their life is, and how easy my life is. But then I remember why my life is now easy, which can hurt. And I hate the thought that maybe someday their life could be "easy," too. Because I don't want anyone else to have to go through what we have. But I know that if something does happen they can be happy and have peace and joy, because I am happy and have peace and joy! Which always amazes me. But it's not easy.

My aunt Marianne sent me an email from a talk she gave about hope, talking in part about little Emily. And at the end she said something that pretty much sums up how I feel, " I look at your beautiful little family and am amazed that you look so normal and so happy....and nobody knows the deep heartache that must grip you without warning at different times...as you miss your little girl."

I am happy, but I miss my little Emily.

Emily’s Experience on Earth

Before I was born and I still lived in Heaven,
Heavenly Father explained how life would be.
He said that it would be full of challenges and trials,
But that I would have a family who loves me.

I would have friends and loved ones who would do all that they could,
To make sure I was joyful and happy.
And when I asked him what my purpose on earth would be,
He smiled, with a tear in his eye, and simply said “You’ll see.”

My life on earth had a difficult start,
I could no longer see nor hear.
But it didn’t take long to understand,
That my parents loved me so dear.

They stayed at the hospital for the first seven weeks,
And had faith that I could breathe on my own.
And eventually the wonderful day came,
They were able to take me home.

I made so many friends along the way,
I was able to learn so many things.
And although I had my share of pain and struggles,
I felt the joy and the love that the Gospel brings.

I have a Mother, who sacrificed everything she could,
Who did her best to keep me healthy and strong.
I have a Father, who provided me safety and peace,
Who’s whistling and roaring helped me as my life moved along.

I have a Sister, who loves and cares for me,
Even though she liked to pull my hair.
Who when the time came for me to die in their arms,
Gave my parents peace with her happy stare.

I have grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins,
Who always treated me as one of their own.
I have classmates, friends, and fellow 18th Chromosome family,
Who reminded me that I’m never alone.

Through all of my challenges and obstacles overcome,
I began to realize my mission.
There would be so many people whose lives I could touch,
Even without hearing and vision.

And now I can tell them at the end of my earthly life,
That God has a plan for everyone.
That because of the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ,
We can return to him in glory and perfection.

Now I can run, and see, and hear,
I can talk, and help, and serve.
I can help others know that the Gospel of Christ,
Will lead them to the happiness they deserve.

As a final request to all who know me,
As we part, at least for a while:
That when they think of Emily Hammond,
They share with me a laugh and a smile.

The Rest of Christmas

2012-01-15T14:17:00.001-08:00

While we were home they had free ice skating and skate rentals-you can't beat that! Lily did okay for her first time. Don't move your feet and let mom or dad push you!The kids loved playing outside and I think every day it stopped raining enough so that they could. Notice Robby on the scooter in the background.
Mom made Lily a Sleeping Beauty dress, which she wore the rest of the day. Uncle Steve put her crown in the Christmas tree and Lily had a royal meltdown over it. It made us all laugh pretty hard.

She's yelling at me because we were having a race to the top of the lane and I didn't stop for her. Or something like that.

raxton, Akaila and Lily played together the whole time.

The 27th was "Uncle Sarah's" (this is what Lily called her the whole trip) 21st birthday. Lily had waited all day to eat chocolate cake and was not disappointed.

Lily had asked Santa for a barbie. It was very nice of her since we had to travel from Texas-very "suitcase sized."

Lance got a train and train whistle. My mom and dad have the same wooden trainset so it was perfect, we just wrapped it up!

I think I had mentioned before, but Lance broke his wrist over the break. He fell out of the crib at Janica's and it took us a few days to realize what was going on. We took him to urgent care in Bellingham, and they then sent us to the ER once they saw the x-ray. The ER decided to just splint it. My doctor here in San Antonio said he would have casted it, but it's healing fine.

Lily was the angel for our Christmas Eve program. She's flapping her wings. And you can see my mom's redone kitchen!

Akaila and Lily had fun playing with Uncle Steve. Lily and Steve would keep saying, "Mine!" over anything. "My chair!" "My Christmas tree!"

One of the highlights (maybe THE highlight) of the trip was going skiing at Mt. Baker. It felt like going home. I just love that mountain. I laughed because I had told my mom I just wanted to go up and ski a few runs and I didn't care how hard I skiied and she said, Yeah Right. Well, she was right. After the first run when I got my ski legs back under me (I forget how much of a quad workout it is). I was ready to go, and so was Janica! And Sarah did a fantastic job; I think it was the first time it's ever been just us three girls. And for anyone who cares, the conditions were fantastic-powder; packed powder. Anything ungroomed was good, and off of chair 6 and 1 were the best. We even did Chicken and The Chute. Not Gabels, though. Or the Canyon. Those runs always try to kill me.

Part 2-Seattle

2012-01-13T19:57:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday before Christmas I drove with the kids from Janica's house in Oregon to Seattle to pick up Robby at the airport, spend time with his parents, and then drive up to my house. We were able to stay with my friend Kathy in Issaquah, who I taught first grade with. It was so fun to have a nice long visit-Robby even watched the kids the next morning while we went on a 1/2 hour run. It's hilly in Issaquah!

Later on Wednesday we took the kids to the Seattle Center and Children's museum-not the world's greatest children's museum, in case anyone wondered. Their favorite parts were the train and the fountains. I always love those, too!

We spent the night in Seattle with Robby's parents. Here's Lance and Lance.

Lance is so enthralled with the train.

Lily and Papa, with her new doll that Papa actually picked out!

Hanging with my twin

2012-01-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

Two weeks before Christmas, on the 14th, I went to Janica's house in Oregon with the kids. Thanks to a late flight and melitonin we made it without any problems; it was my first time flying with a layover with two kids. Luckily Janica picked us up at the airport so I didn't have to drive, because I think I would have ended up sleeping on the side of the freeway for the night. We really had a great time.

On Thursday we went to Akaila's preschool party.

Friday I did Zumba with Janica and her friends and then went to an ugly sweater party with Janica and Kacey.

Saturday Janica and I went running, went out to lunch with our friend Tiffany, and took the kids to a live nativity. That night Lance fell out of his crib and broke his wrist, though we didn't know it was broken until Thursday!

Sunday was church.

Monday we went to Salem and rode the carousel.

Tuesday was the drive from Salem to Seattle.

I don' t think I got the pictures in order but, this was Saturday night, we went to a live nativity they had at their stake center. It was really fun and I think helped Lily understand the Christmas story. Ryan and Braxton are behind Lily and Lance.

Ok this was not the best picture of the three of us, but for lunch on Saturday we met up with our oldest friend-we've known each other since we were four, Tiffany. It was a lot of fun to catch up and

Earlier Saturday we'd gone over to the school to play. This was what the weather was like most of the time. Cold and wet. I loved it!

I look like Janica to me in this picture.

This was before we flew out, we let the kids open their Christmas pajamas so they could wear them on the plane. Lily liked her Dora ones!

On Friday when we were there I went with Janica and Kacey to an ugly sweater party. Kacey's outfit made us all laugh.

The little twins. Not so much, but they are really fun to watch play together.

Lily and Akaila on the carousel in Salem.

Please Help Mommy Run Super Fast

2012-01-12T11:33:00.001-08:00

Back at the beginning of December was the City Manager's 5K race for San Antonio city employees and their families. There's usually between 1,000-2,000 runners, and this was the 5th year it's happened. It's always at the park by the zoo. The first year I won for the women, and it was the first time I'd ever won a race in my life. The second year I got second, I think. Then I was pregnant with Lance and just ran/walked with Lily and Robby the third year. Last year I won it again, so this year the pressure was on! From Lily mostly. I really just wanted to run as fast as I could. Robby decided not to run it this year, so that he could be there when I crossed the finish line; every other time I've finished and then I go and run about a mile going the wrong way to run it with him. It was fun having him and the kids there at the end this year to cheer me on. Before the race the whole week Lily kept asking me if I was going to win-I told her I didn't know but I'd try to run fast, so in her prayer that's what she prayed for-that Mommy would run super fast. This is at the finish line.

And after the race. While I was running Lily had fun splashing in puddles.

My time-this was the fastest I'd ever won a 5k; I'd never finished under 21 before. We have the picture from me finishing last year and it was 21.19, or something like that.

And I won! I kind of feel silly blogging about it, but it was a a fun part of my 2011 and when I turn this blog into a book I'd like to have it in there, I think. The trophy is sitting in our garage. I'm trying to not be like the Modern Family episode from last week, if anyone watched it! Sometimes Lily will have races in our back yard and then win the trophy.

Lily my love

2012-01-04T16:16:00.000-08:00

I want to write this in my journal, but it's much faster to type it up, and I know I'll turn this into a book eventually, so...

This morning while leaving the gym Lily was very excited at the idea of going to her friend Rachael's house this week to play... on her stairs. Apparently at Janica's and Mom and Dad's that was a bonus. Stairs. I asked if she'd like to have stairs sometime and she said, "Yeah, maybe we can get some for our house." I told her in order to do that we'd have to buy a new house and she said, "When my daddy gets home I'll ask him to get me a new house with stairs in it." I tried to tell her we couldn't just do that, but she wasn't convinced.

Then tonight she was upset with me because I was taking down the Christmas tree. I told her since it's after Christmas we have to put everything away for next year. She did not like this and said, "Do I have to put away my doll house?" I tried to then explain to her that she could keep all her presents that she got for Christmas. But I don't think she got it because a few minutes later she had a microphone and said, "I'm NOT giving this back to Santa Claus!"

Then in the bath I was wiping away the heart that was painted on her face while at the gym. She cried and cried that her heart was gone and was insistent we go to the gym to get a new one.

She told me that she fell out of her crib and broke her arm and had to go to the hospital. (This happened to Lance over our vacation-he broke his wrist at Janica's). I tried to tell her that didn't happen and it is a story (i.e-lie) and she said, "Yes I did!"

Tonight when she got out of the tub I wrapped her up in Emily's old towel and she said, "This is my towel that Emily gave me for Christmas. i got it for my birthday yesterday." I think she now gets that Christmas and birthdays are when you get presents.

While putting the ornaments away we found Lily's pink high heeled shoe that she picked out this year as her ornament. She did NOT want to put it away and told me her daddy told her she could keep it. She then took it and put it away. When I just went to put her shoes in her closet, sitting next to them is this little plastic pink high heeled shoe ornament.

I told Robby last night it's just amazing to me how much she understands and can interact. I remember when Emily was her age I had fun, but I always had a little ache that she couldn't communicate with me like a typical 3 year old could. So now that Lily can I find myself constantly laughing to myself over the things she says and does. It's hard to take her seriously sometimes, though I know to her the things that push her buttons are a big deal!

South Padre

2012-01-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

In November we went down to South Padre Island. Originally we did it because we thought my mom was coming and she always says how she wants to sleep and hear the ocean, but she ended up not coming. We had a great time, though we missed her! We had really beautiful weather and the kids loved playing on the beach. And we actually ate good food. Really good food. We had just got our new iphones so my better pictures on it, and I haven't downloaded them to the computer yet. I also need to figure out how to blog from my phone, I haven't tried that either. Our camera is not taking the greatest pictures.

Halloween-just for me

2012-01-02T19:04:00.003-08:00

I want to turn this blog into a book but need to get the rest of the year in to do it. So here's Halloween. I was pretty proud of their Peter Pan and Tinkerbell costumes.

Randomness

2011-11-29T06:07:00.000-08:00

So I know I haven't posted in awhile, and it could stay like that for a bit. Things are just crazy busy, and I know they're not even as busy as they have been in years past. We had a good Thanksgiving going out to League City to see our friends (more like family) Austin and Amy. Their daughter Avonlea is the same age as Emily, and it was interesting to see Lily and her play together. I had one of those "could have been" moments-if Emily would have been born without her different challenges, this would have been their age difference. But it didn't make me super sad or cry or anything, it was just an interesting thought! Lily is in a hitting faze, so we're trying to work on that. I remember with my little sister the three's were way worse than the two's, so I was somewhat prepared, but they really are worse! I think it's because when they are two, they are still learning things, but when they are three, they know better! I decided not to do Christmas cards this year. Something had to give, so that was what gave. I'll try to post something on here and maybe send out an email, but I'm sorry that we won't be sending them out! I still love getting them from people, and I will plan better for next year. I'm going home Dec. 14th with the kids, so my month is kind of cut in half, plus with church stuff I just am quickly running out of time! I'll try to post pictures, too. We got smartphones for an early Christmas present and I haven't really figured out how to upload pictures from my camera phone all at once onto my computer. Can you do that?

Sea World

2011-11-15T19:37:00.000-08:00

The weekend of Halloween we went to Seaworld with Robby's work. He's been at the city 5 years, and every five years they do something to celebrate; usually it's a free day at the zoo, but this year it was a free day at Seaworld! We haven't gone since Lily was about Lance's age, so it was really fun to go. This picture was at the end of the day, in front of the dolphin zone that splashed us.

So we actually fed the dolphins, which I was so excited about. The dolphins were excited, too. They jumped up and splashed us, with the kids taking the brunt of it. They weren't so happy about feeding the dolphins after that!

Lance did like watching the Sea Lions, though.

Lily and Robby watching the whales. Lance slept through it.

Lily and I actually went on this. We're in the second row on the left. She was very brave. She cried a little bit afterwards because she got wet, but she wasn't too traumatized! Probably not our best parenting decision to take her on it, but oh well!

The front part of the ride. You go backward down that roller coaster part.

Shamu!

The kids got to wear their Halloween costumes for part of the day. Lance, as you can see, was thrilled about it.

Morgan's Wonderland

2011-11-04T20:56:00.001-07:00

Lily with her best friend.

Last Friday I had the chance to take Lily and Lance and go with a friend to Morgan's Wonderland. I have wanted to go there since it opened last year, and on Friday everyone got in for $5, so it was the perfect time to go. Morgan's Wonderland is the first park of it's kind that was designed and built with people of all abilities in mind. It was amazing! When Emily was here we knew it was being built, but it wasn't completed before she passed away. I really didn't take very good pictures, but every aspect of it was created so that individuals in wheelchairs or with other special needs can experience everything. They have swings that you can place and buckle your child in, or, for bigger kids/adults, you can actually wheel the wheelchair into place, fasten it in, and then let push the entire wheelchair so it swings! It's the same thing with the carousel. You can wheel a wheelchair into place, and then the entire spot moves up and down, just like if they were on a horse. The playgrounds were so much fun, and were all ramps. They have cars you can drive, a sensory village-basically a mini children's museum, a minature train that goes around the park, a full sized gym, and the list goes on.

When we entered the park I just started crying. I was totally caught off guard by the emotions that hit. It was just amazing to me that one man's vision created this park, and that children and adults like Emily could go and enjoy it side by side with their families. What a blessing! I loved seeing all of the kids and adults walking around and being pushed around in their strollers/wheelchairs. And I loved that it was just so natural. Lily and Lance absolutely loved it, too. They could have stayed all day. I'm just really grateful for people like Gordon Hartman.

I was talking with one of my friends about my last blog post, and what do you say to someone who has a child with differences/special needs other than, "What's wrong with them?" I think for me the thing I appreciated was when people didn't say anything! Not that I got offended when they asked what was wrong, because I know that's natural, but when people would say things like, "She had beautiful eyes." Or, "Tell me about Emily." Or who just treated her like she was a typically developing kid, and would talk to her and acknowledge her. Because "what's wrong?" just seems like you're focusing on the negative and not the positive, and who the person is not, or what they can't do, instead of who they are and what they can do. I guess it just puts me on the defensive. I think we can all be a bit "mother bear" about our kids! And for the most part people were great about really trying to see Emily and understand her.

Funny Things

2011-10-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

There are some funny things people say that have been brought to my mind the last few weeks. I've been guilty of doing/saying each one of these at some time or another. I think it's human nature. So I'm really sorry!

Like:

If there is something your child is struggling with, or they have a disability, and someone says, "What's wrong with them?"

When someone is going through something really tough another person says, "I just can't imagine." Doesn't help me.

When someone says,"You look so tired." Or, "You look beat." I can read between the lines and know what you're really saying! Again, I know I've said this to someone before. I'm sorry!

When people don't think before talking about a sensitive subject (today when I told someone who asked how many children I have that I have a daughter who passed away he said, "Oh. Did she drown?" Say, what?) I know I've been guilty of this, even this week, so once again, I'm sorry!

When people ask you how many more children you're planning on having, or when you're planning on having another one. Again, totally guilty-I've done this way too many times.

When people ask you, "Is that a baby bump or are you just standing funny?"

you're walking around with your newborn/3 month old/six month old, etc, and someone asks you when you're due!

I try to remember that people mean well when they say things like this. I don't always succeed. And if my best friend asks me how many more kids I'm planning on having, or tells me I look like ____ it's a bit different that coming from someone I met yesterday!

This last one isn't a bad thing, I just think it's kind of funny. It's when someone says"Congratulations" when you're asked to do something at church. I understand the sentiment, and I really appreciate it. I guess to me saying congratulations is more something you say when someone has aspired to something and then accomplished it. Like all of these wonderful ladies I know who have been losing weight. They have worked hard! Or when you get accepted into some kind of program/school you've tried hard to get into. However, if I'm ever called to be Primary Chorister at church again, you may congratulate me, because I do aspire to that!

What are Mountains?

2011-09-30T11:56:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I flew to Colorado alone with the kids for a week. We really had a great trip-I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly it went! Lance enjoyed having a seat to himself on the plane ride there.

The day we got there Kathie picked us up and we played with Kyle and CJ. This log behind them I carried Lily across-I was quite proud of myself, as was Kyle, who told me I was the first grown up to ever go across it!

The next day we rented a car and drove from Denver (stopping at Cafe Rio on the way!) over to Sterling, where Parker and Jessie live. Lily really hasn't spent much time with these girls-they saw each other at the family reunion in July and that was the first time in over 2 years. But they became quick friends. We did have a few fights-we knew it was time to leave when Lily and Kylee were laying on the floor with their legs wrapped around each other hitting each other over a doll house. But we had a great time!

Jess had arranged for us to go to her friend's house and ride horses. Kylee and McKinley both rode by themselves all around-I was very impressed. Not Lily, though.

She rode with Kylee, and then she and I rode. I hadn't been on a horse for probably at least 10 years, but it was so much fun! I can see why people love it so much.

Lance wasn't that impressed with the horses but he LOVED this dog. It made me feel quite bad that we live in the city.

John and Coya came from Nebraska for Jessie's birthday BBQ. It was so fun to see both my married brothers and their families! I will hopefully go again next year.

Mady had fun (I think). I know my kids had fun with Mady.

We stopped at my good friend Anna's house in Greeley, and then went back to Kathie's. I love these boys' faces.

My last full day there we drove to Colorado Springs and met up with my dear friend Terrie. She left me in Texas and moved to greener pastures, but it was great to visit her and her family.

This is up above Colorado Springs. It was such a beautiful day-I could live there so easily!

Love these girls!

We went to Garden of the Gods, which we had also gone to last year. We didn't make it too far around, but it was a lot of fun to see again.

The plane ride home was a bit rough, but no layovers, so we survived. Thanks to all those people we saw-now come and visit us please!

Ode to San Antonio

2011-09-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately, I don't know why, about what makes San Antonio, San Antonio. Now, I want anyone who reads this to remember, I didn't grow up here, and I've only been here six years. But there are a few things I've noticed. I'll start with the things I noticed pretty quickly after we moved here.

1. The grass should not legally be able to be called grass. I had never lived anyplace that didn't have soft grass. I didn't know non-soft grass existed. The first time I walked around our apartment complex I think I cried.

2. Texans really are nice people. It's always nice going to the grocery store here (other than Wal-mart, which doesn't count), and receiving help out to the car, balloons given to the kids, smiley faces when your kids are throwing fits. Whenever we move, I think this is one of the things I will miss the most.

3. The whole freeway system is a bit confusing.

a. You have highways that become freeway-like at certain points, so you think they're a freeway, only you don't see freeway signs, just highway signs. 281 and 1604 the biggest offenders. Similarly, you'll be driving on what you think is a freeway and all of a sudden come to a stoplight.

b. We have access roads with turn-arounds. But, sometimes the frontage/access road ends with no warning (usually because there's train tracks in the way) or, you get off the freeway, (or what you think is a freeway), looking for turn around, because the store you want is on the other side, and there is no turn around. So you're stuck at the light forever waiting to go left.

4. Texas wildflowers are largely a myth. We've lived here 6 years and seen them twice. And when they were out, they were spectacular. But in order for there to be wildflowers we have to have a rainy winter, which doesn't happen too often.

5. When it rains, it floods. I think there are several reasons for this. #1, it is usually a downpour when it rains, not the steady Washington drizzle/rain I am used to. #2. There are no ditches. #3 You have about 1 inch of soil and then you hit rock. There is no place for the rain to go! And don't try to drive over a low water crossing. And Texans don't know how to drive in rain. Four wheel drive and big trucks will not help you.

6. If it snows or their is a chance of ice, nothing will help you, because the entire city shuts down. They literally shut down the bridges, schools, freeways, stores, gyms. It's like driving through a ghost town.

7. Remember the Alamo! The Alamo is actually in the middle of downtown San Antonio. If you want a taste of what it used to be like, I'd suggest also visiting one of the missions. But The Alamo really is a great place to visit.

8. The Riverwalk really does live up to it's hype, and is very pretty with good places to eat.

9. Sea World and Six Flags are great! The fireworks there, and anyplace else that I've seen, are awful. It's not worth the crowds or the sweating at night. They say Everything's Bigger in Texas, but not so for the 4th of July. I'd go to a movie that night (which we've done before).

10. The BBQ here is EXCELLENT! If you like BBQ, which I now do, Texas is a great place to be. Salt Lick BBQ is my favorite, but you can never go wrong with Rudy's. Lean Brisket and creamed corn. yum.

11. The birds are REALLY loud. The day after we moved in Robby took us down to the Riverwalk for dinner. I thought there was a sound recording of the birds, and he informed it was the real thing. As a friend told me, when someone asked where the birds go in the winter, the answer is...HERE. We ARE South.

12. We have two seasons, summer, and crazy hot summer. Summer is from mid-October through March. The temperatures change from the 80's-60's, sometimes dipping down into the 50's and 40's, though rarely. April-September is crazy hot summer. I wouldn't recommend it. It was over 100 today.

13. High school football really is a big deal here. It cracks me up when I'm at the gym with a bunch of people my age to their 40's, 50's and 60's, and on Monday's they are all talking about who won the high school games Friday night.

14. You can never tell what season it is. It all looks the same.

15. The roads are always changing their name. We live near Wetmore, where it turns into Bulverde. And by Naccodochess, which turns into Perin Biedel. And Warzbach Parkway begins and ends several different times. Bitters turns into something that turns into something else.

I'm sure I'll think of more things to add, but I wanted to remember for whenever we move away. Please let me know what I'm missing!

The Beach!

2011-08-28T18:40:00.001-07:00

Last weekend for Robby's birthday (which was Monday) we went down to Corpus Christi to go to the beach. We'd done the beach in South Padre, about 5 hours away, but not Corpus and Mustang Island, which is 2 hours. We had such a great time! Friday night we just went to the beach at Corpus Christi. It's a bay so the water was super warm. It was fine because it was 7:30 at night, but I think during the day it would have been too hot to feel like a break from the heat.

We had promised the kids ice cream on the way back to the hotel, so we stopped at Denny's (Robby's idea) and got a breakfast platter to share and milkshakes. It brought back so many memories! In high school after church dances we'd always go to Denny's and a strawberry milkshake is what I would get. Does anyone else remember that? I have to say, Chick-fil-a's strawberry milkshakes are better. Lily, as you can see, very much enjoyed it.

Lance was a bit tired. I laughed very hard after seeing this picture.

She knows what to do at hotels.

The next morning we went to Mustang Island, which I would reccomend to anyone who lives near here. It was so much fun, and you could drive your car right onto the beach and just park it where you wanted to play, which was great!

Lily was quite helpful. At least tried to be.

I was experimenting with photoshop. Here's Lance.

And this picture we put on the back of our cooler in the van and set the timer. You can see that Lance has had it, but it turned out pretty good!

It was about a 2 1/2 hour drive home. Hopefully sometime during football season we can make it down there again, maybe when the BYU game is on a Friday? In case you didn't know, they play next Saturday against Ol Miss and our life will be on hold until December (assuming they make it to a bowl game).

Back to school! Oh wait, never mind...

2011-08-21T19:35:00.000-07:00

That's been my thought process this week. Back to school time has always been a bit strange for me. I know I've commented on it before, but it's been on my mind a lot this past week, as school starts for most of Texas tomorrow. Emily started school when she was one. Yes, one. She went for a few months in the spring/summer before she turned two (her birthday is in July) and then from when she was two-three she went three days a week for 3 hours a day-7:30-10:30. And the teacher wanted her there all five days! But that was too much for me (and Em, I think) Three days was a lot, especially with how far I had to drive. It's kind of crazy going to back-to-school night when your kid is two. I loved that program though. It was for kids with vision problems. They're the ones who got Emily potty trained, taught her sign language, and just really, really believed in her.

Then, when Emily turned three, it was on to PPCD (preschool for children with disabilities). So once again we had back-to-school night, etc. I was the room mom that year! And we once again were blessed with a wonderful teacher who loved Emily. They also wanted Emily to go five days a week, from 8:00-10:45, and I had her go four. She really loved it, though.

And when Emily turned four, I had just had Lily, and knew Emily wouldn't be getting all the attention she needed, so I let her go five days a week to Pre-K, from 12:00-2:45. She had the same teacher as the year before. That was the year our sweet little pal, Cael, would push her in her wheelchair every day to class and make comments like, "I love your bow, Emily!" And the year she was invited to a friend's house to play. The same friend who explained to her class that Emily just didn't like bright lights, and that's why her eyes were closed most of the time-it's NOT because she was sleeping. (which was actually mostly true)

Emily only went half the year to school that year; she got sick in December and never went back, and then passed away in January.

So, after having a kid in school for 3 years, it's very strange for me to not be getting ready for school. I love that Lily and Lance are home; I never got to have that "at home" time with Emily. But, I feel like most of my friends have kids in school, and I'm a bit behind! Which is fine, but I went backwards, and not by choice. I don't know if that makes any sense. I'm ready to get into a routine-piano lessons, preschool with Lily here at home, etc. I was the busiest mom I knew with Emily. And I know I will be busy like that again, and like I said, I love the fact that I've got these two cute little kids at home. I don't miss not being crazy busy all the time. And I don't miss the overwhelming, indescribable anxiety I know I'd have about Emily going to school. And I know that Emily is perfectly happy to be where she is, and does not care at all that she's not starting 2nd grade! But my heart aches. It just does.

SWIPER, NO SWIPING!

2011-08-14T19:56:00.001-07:00

Friday was Lily's 3rd birthday. I know she was more excited than me, for the last month she's woken up saying, "My birthday's in August!" and we had to make a paper chain so that she wouldn't drive me crazy. But I was also super excited. She understood last year a bit about birthdays, but this year she really got it, and it was so much fun. She wanted a Dora party, so Dora we did. Here she is playing Swiper with the mask I made the day before her birthday.

Friday morning we had snowman and heart shaped pancakes. I think I need more cookie cutters. Lance loved eating at the table with Lily!

Lance didn't so much love the Kiddie Park. It's this park near downtown San Antonio with rides, and Friday they were only 50 cents! I tried having Lance go on one; they had to stop the ride to let him get off! This was about the happiest he got. I will say, to his credit, it was very hot and humid!

Lily loved it though. The rides all went around and around, but it was perfect for her.

Afterwards we went downtown and had a picnic with Daddy in his office. Which we were glad we did, because he didn't make it home for her party! He felt awful about it. But to Lily, she will remember going to Daddy's office, not that he missed her party.

The cake turned out! I bought the cake topping at cakesforcures.com, for $7! It was so much better and easier than decorating a cake, which I am TERRIBLE at (see Lance's birthday entry for proof). When Lily saw it she gasped and said, "Mommy, I love it!" It was so worth it for that!

We had yummy Mexican food-cheese quesadillas, toquitoes from Costco, chips, etc. And a mango juice with sprite in it. The kids all actually ate. It's so much easier just feeding 2 and 3 year olds than it is adults! The simpler the better!

We played Pin the Tail on Swiper.

The kids danced and then had to freeze when the music stopped, and whoever froze the fastest got a sticker. They LOVED this game and would have played it all night I think. It was highly entertaining to watch them all dance. We had 5 kids over, and then my two.

The highlight of the evening, a Dora treasure hunt, complete with Map. Robby made a great map. Lily was Dora. She's wearing a dress my neighbor got her. Never mind it's black velvet and 100 degrees outside. The had just gone down the slide and now needed to go to the bedroom. The highlight for Lily was "walking up the mountain" (my treadmill).

The kids did the Chicken Dance while I played the piano, which was hilarious, and then found their goodie bags in the piano bench. Two parents were there by then, which was perfect, because I needed a Swiper! So here's Swiper trying to get their treats on the way in to cake and ice cream. The kids had just got done yelling, "Swiper, No swiping!" For Lily this was the highlight. She's watched it over and over on video since then.

Blowing out the candles on the cupcake-we saved the cake for when Robby got home.

After everyone left we did our family presents. Her two big presents were a Dora backpack and a leapfrog laptop. She did not want to go to bed that night, but she had to, because her mommy was one tired lady! My hat goes out to all you single mom's out there-I don't think I would have done it if I'd known Robby wasn't going to be there! But it was great fun, and when she turns five I'll think about doing it again!

I'm How Old?

2011-08-07T06:57:00.001-07:00

I'm old enough to finally be somewhat grateful that being short makes me look younger! I'm still not at the point that everyone would tell me when I was in high school, when I was 16 being mistaken for a 12 year old-"You'll be so glad when you're older." Now that I'm "older" I still wish I was taller! But I can at least appreciate it a little bit.

Now that the trauma of turning 30 is past, I will embrace it.

I've tried to think of the things I'd like to do in my 30's-my 20's I have to say, were a rather tough decade. Almost half were dedicated to Emily, and 2 1/2 years were spent pregnant. I have pretty easy pregnancies, but I don't love being pregnant!

I think the most significant things that happened to me in my 20's were: getting married, graduating from college and getting my first and only "real job" as a 1st grade teacher, having 3 children, burying my first child, and running a marathon.

So this decade I have a few goals, and I figure if I write them down here I'll have some sort of accountability to myself.

1. I want to try to practice the piano at least 15 minutes. Not just play through my books, but actually work on songs.

2. I would really love to learn to sew. Just enough so that I don't have to have someone show me any time I want to try something easy, like make a blanket, curtains, or a simple skirt.

3. I want to try to bake something new every week, and to make one new thing for dinner each week. I know people who have done that every day, and my hat's off to them! If I can do it once a week I think I'll be doing good!

4. I would really love to do a triathlon. Swimming in open water scares me. Not just to do anytime, but to do as a race. I'm slowly getting better, but I still like to be able to touch the bottom when I'm swimming laps! I would love to do at least a sprint triathlon. First I also need to get a bike! I keep waiting until we move back to the Northwest to pursue this one, but maybe I need to just bite the bullet and do it. It's hard to find triathlons in Texas that aren't on Sunday, though.

So I know these are all more selfish things for me, but I don't feel up to writing all the ways I need to be a better person!

The 20's were tough, but I will say that I was happy through it, for the most part, and I hope that that can also be the case for my 30's! Joy in the journey and all that. I love being a mom and I'm grateful for that.

Where is Quincy?

2011-07-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

Quincy is right in the middle of Washington, in case you ever wondered. Like right in the middle. It's a small farming community, 2 hours southwest of Spokane, and is where Robby grew up and where Emily is buried. We took the kids to get doughnuts and across the street to the cemetery to eat them with Emily. Try explaining that to a 2 year old!

Robby's sister Kathie moved and the same day left to drive to Washington from Colorado. Robby was the welcome party.

The kids loved playing on the slip n'slide, and we all enjoyed the nice, soft grass. I couldn't bring myself to wear shoes whenever I walked in it. It was wonderful! I was so shocked when I moved to Texas-I had no idea not all grass was pretty and soft! It's really one of the things I dislike the very most about Texas-no soft grass.

Lily and Lance would chase this cat everywhere. As you can see, the cat loved it.

My nieces built this teepee and then we took the kids out to play in it.

We had a Hammond family reunion at Moses Lake. This is C.J., Torrie, and Lily behind. Lily got so filthy dirty, but she played for hours at the lake.

Here are some of the Hammond grandkids and great-grandkids, with Great-Grandpa Hammond, and Robby's dad and Aunt Venice.

On Sunday night we had a rousing game of kickball-boys against girls. Lily and I are protecting first base.

This is Thomas, who is only 3 months older than Lance, but obviously much bigger! They had a good time chasing around, playing together as much as kids that age do. The gazebo behind in the picture was an elevator, that Lily spent hours playing and eating in.

Those are potato fields in the background. My family used to tease me growing up, that I'd marry a potato farmer from Washington who threw rocks for fun, because I never thought that central Washington was pretty. I have since changed my tune, and if we could end up in the Tri-Cities or Wenatchee we would be very, very happy!

Atkins grocery store in Quincy has the best doughnuts I've ever had. Much better than Tim Horten's or Krispy Creme. Lily had never really had doughnuts before, but loved them!

Torrie is 9 months older than Lily-they'll be in the same grade at school. I think out of all Lily's cousins her age, she and Torrie are the most alike. Which was a lot of fun for both of them, though there were many tears spilt over who got to say prayers first, and who got to play with the pink purse.

Manny and Kyle with Lily. Manny just turned 8 and Kyle turns 8 in November. He and Emily would have been in the same grade.

Why would anyone NOT live here?

2011-07-24T06:40:00.000-07:00

Growing up this was my thought. How could anyone not want to live in the Northwest? And I have to say, I still think that, though I do understand that some people don't like the cold, and people do need jobs other places! Like us! My sister and I painted this swingset for one of our birthdays. 6th maybe? I did purple, and Janica pink. My dad had found it behind our garage and pulled it up-it was all rusted-and got paint and put the swing on it and tied a rope to it, and it used to have a bar in the middle. We'd play Indiana Jones with the rope-there was a snake pit underneath, in case you wondered.

Out at Semiahmoo. Robby and I got engaged on this beach.

Dad would read to Lily every night.

Steve and Lily getting in a workout.

This was Lily's smile to say cheese.

We got to go on the ferry to San Juan Island. There were better pictures of me and the kids, but this one is pretty typical.

We actually saw whales! It was one of the highlights of my trip.

Lance loved seeing the water. He just wanted to be outside the whole time.

Lily had fun on her bike, and so I gave Lance a ride, too.

Steve built this bell tower while we were home, and finished it our last night there. Mom rang it and said "Time for bed" so that's what Lily would say any time she rang it. In this bell sounding monotone voice.

Reid Rules

2011-07-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

We had our first ever Reid summer reunion since everyone's gotten married and had kids, up at my parents condo in Solitude, UT. It was so wonderful to be out of the awful Texas heat and enjoy some mountain air. I'd run up the mountain every day, which was a challenge, but a welcome break from the nasty humidity and heat here.

Here Lily and I are at Silver Lake at Brighton. This is the same place we went to church (Brighton) where a lady decided to share her testimony of what she believed through song, and asked the congregation to join in on the 4th song! We all laughed so hard. It was quite the patriotic mix of This Land is My Land, etc. The 4th song was God Bless America.

My little cowboy.

On Sunday we had Thanksgiving dinner, since my dad was home from Afghanistan, and that's what he requested. Our friends Jason and Laura came up with their cute baby, and while they were there Lily locked herself in the bedroom and pooped her pants. We could see it all through the window on the deck. And then she refused to open the door because she thought we'd be mad. I don't remember how we finally got her to open it. But it was very frustrating watching your child poop and not be able to stop them! Though I was also laughing pretty hard at the time.

I drove home from Utah to Washington with Mom and Dad, and we got to stop at my favorite person's house in the world! I haven't been to Grandma Chlarson's house since I moved from Utah, over 6 years ago. It was so nice to be back!

My mom had a Cowboy Birthday Party for the grandkids. They loved it. The best part was watching Kacey ride around on his horse to show the kids how to barrel race. Of course it was one of those horses that's a head on a stick.

We walked around this pond a lot! It was the perfect length for the kids to walk around and throw rocks in. There was still snow; you can see in the background, which is a bit crazy for July!

This is The Casa, where Robby lived after his mission until we got married. Good memories of this place. I'll leave it at that.

Lily really enjoyed being with her cousins. This is Ryan and McKinnley.

We kind of had to force Lily to go down the slide. Her favorite part was the "little pool" (hot tub). I will say, the weather was about 30-40 degrees cooler than what we're used to swimming in, so even though the pool was heated, the hot tub was nice!

Emily's Birthday

2011-07-22T20:35:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Em's 7th birthday. We did our usual traditions-watched videos, looked at pictures, rolled on the floor, and got a new book and released balloons. Here's Lily opening the book.

Each year I get a Caldacott Award book for them on her birthday. This year I got My Friend Rabbit. It's pretty simple and on their level!

Lily was so excited to release the balloons for Emily. Lance couldn't figure out why we'd give him a balloon and then make him let go, poor guy!

My mom got me these balloons for both Lily and my birthday, since mine was today.

The kids playing with the balloons before we let them go. I forgot to give them rides in the wheelchair this year. They were so exhausted and being such stinkers that we put them to bed right after we released the balloons, and totally forgot the wheelchair ride. Oh well; they ride in it quite a bit.

All in all it was a pretty good day. I'd had my cry on Saturday, so I was okay yesterday. And it was really fun looking through pictures with Lily and having her get so excited about the things she had done like Emily. Like go on a ferry ride, go to the beach, play with Hoover the cat at Robby's house, and the toys and clothes that used to be Em's that are now Lily's. They both know who Emily is, and that she's their sister, so I'm grateful for that.

Freedom Award

2011-07-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

We just got back from an almost 3 week long trip divided into 3 parts, Utah for a Reid Family Reunion (my family), Washington state to my house with just myself, Mom, Dad, the kids and Steve, and a Hammond Family Reunion at Robby's house in Quincy. We were in Utah to see my dad receive the Freedom Award that the city of Provo gives. The banquet was at BYU in the Wilkinson Center Ballroom.

Sarah, who's so beautiful at 20, and Janica and I, who turn 30 on Friday!

It was really great to see my dad get his award, for the work he's done in Afghansitan. I was very proud of him. He had lots of people there to support him-I think around 40, so that was neat to see, too.

Steven, Parker, me, Sarah, Mom, Dad, Janica and John

My mom is holding her shoes, because she had forgotten hers and had Janica go shopping to buy her some. It caused quite the commotion before the dinner started. So she's showing everyone her new shoes.

Everyone with their spouses

Kacey is so much taller than anyone else!

It was really fun to see BYU again-I haven't been back since Robby graduated and we moved to Texas, over 6 years ago. It was fun to be in the Wilkinson Center again-I remember going to EFY dances in that ballroom. And having ballroom dance class, and working for BYU catering having events in there, and being in charge of a Jon Shmit concert in there. So many different things! I sure enjoyed my time at BYU.

The Road Less Traveled

2011-06-19T16:37:00.000-07:00

So this morning I got a call on Skype from my dad, who works in Kabul, Afghanistan, and has traveled this week to Kandahar, Afghanistan. The place you always hear about on the news, where the taliban have much more a stronghold.

I answered his call and he said, "Hi. As I was calling a bomb went off. But I'm safe in the guest house. How are you?" He then paused to ask someone near him if that was a bomb. And then the call was dropped, leaving me to wonder if my dad was okay! He was-he thinks it was an RPG (Rocket Propelled something-gernade maybe?). Life

This picture was taken not too long ago (a few weeks?) in Kabul, Afghanistan. I think pretty much everyone who reads this knows that my dad works in Kabul; last year for a television station, and now for a radio station. On June 30 he's being honored in Provo, UT at the Freedom Festival, along with his friend Steve, as people who have helped promote the cause of freedom. If you would have told me even 10 years ago my dad would be working in Afghanistan I don't think I would have believed you. I wouldn't have wanted to believe you! But we're all pretty proud of the work he's doing there. He sure loves the people there, and has a desire to help them.

My sister and sister-in-law made this sign for Dad for Christmas. It says "A Family that Skis together stays together." We grew up skiing as a family; something we all still love, though most of us never get to, for me because I live in Texas.

My first backpacking trip with my dad and Janica, when I was 14. That's Mt. Baker in the background. We went to Tomyoi Peak and Yellow Aster Butte. The next year we went with my dad and Parker and John to Tamyhoi Lake. I'm glad I have a dad who spent so much time with us, especially enjoying the outdoors.

Nana's Visit and Guess Who's Walking?

2011-06-05T16:33:00.000-07:00

Mr. Lance after church. He was in the middle of going from sitting to crawling, but it just looked like the perfect pose!

Then this was the next Sunday.

The last few weeks Lance started walking, and this week I think he walked more than he crawled. Mom came May 19th and stayed until the 30th, and so she got to see him pretty much learn to walk. It was really fun to be able to have someone else to share it with! Lance has also started talking a little bit. His first word was "hello." I'll try to get a video on here, it's pretty cute. He also says mama, dada, and when mom was here he learned to say Nana! That's what Lily called mom first, though she now calls her Grandma more than Nana.

The first day Mom was here she and I drove to Houston to see our "brother from another mother" (his words from high school) Austin Gallant, graduate from dental school. It was really great to be there and see him and Amy and their kids. The next day we went to Pedernals Falls State Park. This is a picture; Texas is in a drought, so there's not much as far as falls go, but it was really pretty and we had a lot of fun.

We hiked down to where you can swim and had a lot of fun, other than when I saw a great big snake crawling across some rocks that were in the middle of the river. Lily will tell you, "Mommy cried." I didn't, but I turned around pretty dang quick!
This was actually at the zoo. I'm not sure why they were both so excited, but it made me laugh.

Lance really loved playing in the water. And so did Lily.

Mom and I took advantage of Mom being here and went away by ourselves for the first time since we've had kids seven years ago! We did go to Turkey, which was amazing, but we stayed with family. This time it was just Robby and I. We just went to Austin, but we really had fun. Saturday morning we went golfing for the first time since we'd been married! We didn't do too bad (I even shot par on one hole!). It was really hot and humid by the time we'd finished 9 holes, so we stopped then.

We also ate good food, saw the movie Thor, went bowling, and saw the bats at Congress Bridge. Everything was great except the bats. If you ever go, don't go in May.

On Sunday everyone was matching Black and White, not really on purpose, so we had to get a picture!

This was Lily's outfit to swim on Memorial Day. Mom said it's because she's trying to look like me, since I tend to wear a hat and a skirt when I go swimming. She cracks me up! Yesterday she had the book "Confessions of a Shopaholic," and when I tried to take it from her she told me, "No, it's my book club book!"

If you make it this far in reading, here's my sad news for the day. I was asked at church when I'm due, as she patted my stomach. Someone I really like and respect! It made me cry. I'm not pregnant, please don't ask!

Rides

2011-05-22T20:10:00.001-07:00

My kids make me laugh. They both wanted to ride in Emily's wheelchair. And now Lily is pushing her and Lance around in the car. They crack me up.

My angel Lily

2011-05-09T19:55:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day has become a bit of a bitter-sweet day for me. I'm sure it is for many of you, too. When Emily was here I always enjoyed it, but it was always a little sad because she couldn't really express herself like most kids-you see little two year olds giving their moms' hugs and cards and kisses, which Em couldn't do. But I was always so grateful to be her mom. And since she's passed away I've had those little sweet moments with Lily of "I love you, Mom," and hugs and kisses and cards, but I wish I could have had them both with Lily and Emily at the same time! So yesterday I was having my moment, crying while watching Music and the Spoken Word (it always makes me cry on days like Easter and Mother's Day) and Lily saw me, and I told her I was okay, I was just sad because I missed Emily. And she came over and climbed up onto my lap and put her arms around my neck and gave me the sweetest hug. Which of course made me cry more! So then she pulled back and looked at me and just gave me another hug. And just kind of held me. Just what I needed. No words, just a hug. Her compassion amazes me. It felt like she was hugging me for Emily.

And Lily has always been like that. When she was 4 months old I remember Emily having a spasm and screaming in pain. Lily started crying and as soon as I went over and picked up Emily and rocked her, Lily stopped crying. She did it again when Robby was there a few weeks later. Shortly after that Emily passed away. But it just amazed us that at such a young age, just a baby, she could be like that. She has her crazy moments, but she can just be so sweet!

"You're so strong!"

2011-05-09T14:12:00.000-07:00

I think a lot of us have heard those words. And we think, "I'm not strong, I don't have a choice!" They're definitely not comforting words, although I know people mean well. The other one that I hear ALL THE TIME is that Heavenly Father doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Which since I've had Emily and especially since I lost her, I've felt is just not a true statement. I'm sorry, but that's what I think. And I know people who have gone through a lot more than me. And I could never figure out how to explain it to people without feeling like I was doubting God. But last week I went to Time Out for Women and heard Kris Belcher talk, who has had cancer in her eyes and had her eyes removed, and is of course blind. With 2 little kids. She said she would hear those two comments, "You're so strong," and "God wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle," all the time and just think, "That's not true." And then she said something I loved. She said that we are given things that we can't handle. Why else would we need a Savior? Isn't that why Christ went through what he did for us? And I just LOVED that thought. Because it's true. The only way I've been able to deal with everything with Emily, both while she was here, and especially during the time she was dying and after she passed away, is through the atonement, and praying and asking Heavenly Father to let me give my burdens to my Savior and let him carry it for me, because I just couldn't do it myself. And the miracle is, he has! He has made it so that I can have peace and be happy, which for me is just amazing and I am so grateful for. And it is only through him. I couldn't "handle it" by myself. I've tried. It doesn't work.

Easter

2011-05-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

In San Antonio for Fiesta and Easter they sell Cascarones, eggs dyed and filled with confetti, and you crack them on each other's heads. Lily loves it, but Lance has cried and cried each time Robby does it to Lily or she does it to one of us.

Cracking the egg on Lily's head.

We had a fun Easter morning. The kids really liked Lance's birthday present and had fun playing with it.
You can see Lance's face a bit behind Lily's arm. He is not happy. I hid the cascarones as part of our Easter Egg hunt.

Easter outfits.

Our attempt at a family picture. Not successful.

Lance turns One!

2011-05-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

Lance with is birthday cupcake. He liked it, but not quite like his sister Lily did! Both on her first birthday and on his!We forgot to put his hat on. He's laughing at Lily.
My sad attempt at a soccer ball cake. The one thing Lance loves is balls, so that was the theme for his party. Look at all the little ladies with him!
His $1 ball that he loved.
I also made cupcakes, they turned out much better than the cake did. My favorite were the baseball ones.

Consider the Lilies

2011-04-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

Lately it seems like I have so many friends going through tough times with their children. Surgeries going wrong, or things coming up that they weren't expecting to deal with, or even death. And it just breaks my heart. One of my favorite songs has always been, since I first heard it before Emily was born, Consider the Lilies, by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. After Emily was born I heard them sing it at a Relief Society conference and cried and cried. I think the song is one of the reasons I love the name Lily. If you'd like to listen to it, it's the first link on the right. (I couldn't figure out how to put it in my post-help?)

My favorite line is "Consider the sweet, tender children, who must suffer on this Earth. The pains of all them he carried, from the day of his birth.

He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the lambs in His fold, And he will heal those who trust him, And make their hearts as gold. "

My thoughts this Easter turn toward Emily, as they have every Easter since she's been gone. And of course they turn toward my Savior. I'm so grateful for his Atoning sacrifice and the Ressurection, that I can be with Emily and my family again. This song was the song that was playing when Emily passed away, and so it's taken me awhile to be able to listen to it again. But I love the message and the peace and hope it brings.

Moments

2011-04-03T15:42:00.001-07:00

I feel like in my 9 years of being married, I have lived two completely different lives. And I have. For 4 1/2 years we had Emily, and I was the Mom of a Child with Special Needs. And this really defined who I was. And who I am still, I think. Everything that I did or thought revolved around Emily and what she needed. My life was full of therapy, doctors appointments, school, etc. Even during play time it was she and I doing therapy. But we sang lots of songs and read lots of books and went lots of places, which I am so grateful for. Lily was only 5 months old when Emily passed away, so I hadn't even really had a chance to get used to life with 2! Lily wasn't rolling around much yet or anything, and so life was mostly still taking care of Emily, with playing and feeding Lily when we could! Lily was such an easy going baby. It still hurts when I think that Em and Lily only had 5 months together. But, Lily knows her little sister now. She talks about Emily going to school in her wheelchair, and how she loved to roll, and how she loved to eat bananas and how she had owies on her stomach (heart surgery).

And now I have my life with Lily and Lance. While it's busy, it's your typical life with two toddler/babies. My schedule is pretty much my own-if I don't make it to the grocery store, I can go later or Robby can go. If I don't want to go to story time, or to the zoo, I don't have to go. It's just amazing to me how "normal" my life is now. And I'm very happy. I love being able to just play with my kids, and my worries are the typical ones now-hold my hand when you cross the street, don't talk to strangers, etc. But it's hard, because inside I'm still that mom of a child with special needs, who a lot of people don't know and never met because they never met Emily. And it's hard because the reason why my life is "normal" is because Emily isn't here. And while I know she's happy and busy, it doesn't make me miss her any less.

Emily has definitely made me appreciate all that Lily and Lance can do. Sometimes it's like a mantra, "I'm grateful Lily's so busy. I'm grateful she can make messes. I'm grateful she talks so much! I'm grateful that Lance can breastfeed and doesn't want to stop and wakes up in the middle of the night to eat." (that might be pushing it.) But really I am grateful. I'm grateful for all the little moments in my life, with all my kids.

Robby's mom and Aunt Diana came last weekend. We had fun going up to Fredricksburg to pick strawberries. I will say, the Fredricksburg peaches are much better than the strawberries.

We went to Rudy's BBQ on the way home, and Lance was having fun playing with Grammy and doing his cheesy smile for the camera.
This is the side of the Alamo. Diana's big reason for coming was that she always wanted to see the Alamo, and we tried to go the first day and it was closed! It closes at 5:30. So we went back before she left on Monday. Robby was able to walk from work to see us.
We tried to get a good picture on Emily's bench before Peggy flew out. This was the best one we got. Not too much of a success.

March Madness

2011-03-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

So, before the big game tonight, I thought I'd write what March Madness means to our family. I should have known it would always be a part of our life. Our first kiss was after the final NCAA March Madness game, on April 2 2005, when Duke lost to I think Arizona. Robby and I had gone on 2 dates; the 2nd one being an all day ski date to Alta. I had then gone over to his house, "the Casa" two days later and watched General Conference with him and his roommates and their girlfriends. We spent a good portion of the day together just talking, and then he invited me over to watch the basketball game the next day. I could have cared less about the game, but I did like Robby, so I of course said yes. I think I got there for the end of the game, just in time to see his buddy Chad lose it when Duke lost. (sorry Chad).

Robby walked me to my car after the game was over and we held hands for the first time, and then as I was going to get in the car he kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. But I should have known then that basketball would be a big part of our life.

ESPECIALLY when BYU makes it into the tournement. I think most people who read this know that Robby is a slightly obsessive BYU fan-I would say football over basketball, though this year he has Jimmer Fever like everyone else. And Jimmer signed the banner that is hanging up in Lance's room, so even more reason to like him! Every year since we've been married we watch BYU lose in the first round of the tournament. Well, last year they were playing in Oklahoma City, 8 hours away, and Robby decided he HAD to go and support the team. So he drove by himself and stayed and stayed in a Motel 6 and was there when they beat Florida in double overtime to win their first round game in something like 15 years. So now that they're playing in New Orleans, and Robby's not there yet, but if they win tonight (fingers crossed) he'll drive Saturday to New Orleans to watch them play. And then, we would go to Houston if they won that game.

Every year we fill out our brackets and do a "friendly bet." Which I am so far winning this year! And then Emily and I would always watch the games together on Thursday and Friday during the first round of the tournament. So now, March Madness always makes me miss Emily! We do a tounament pick 'em with some of my family and Robby's and some friends. In the last 4 years my dad has been in Turkey and Afganistan, yet he still manages to follow what's going on. He's always overly optomistic when it comes to BYU-he always at least has them going to the sweet 16. But hopefully this year he'll be right-he's got them winning the whole thing! He had them winning the whole thing last year, too.

Our TEXAS Sized Weekend

2011-03-03T09:01:00.001-08:00

I ended up with these pictures in reverse order. 2 weeks ago we had a good traditional Texas weekend. It started on Friday morning when I took the kids to the San Antonio rodeo. I was so excited to take them both to the petting zoo, and they both cried and cried. It has goats, sheep, a llama, chickens, a kangaroo, pot belly pigs, deer, etc. I think it was a bit overwhelming! And then a deer bit the back of Lily's shirt, and so if you ask her about the rodeo she tells you a "Deer bit my back!"

On Friday afternoon we left to go up to Fort Worth to go to the BYU-TCU basketball game. We stayed in a Courtyard Marriot about 10 minutes away from TCU. Here's the kids ready to go swimming Saturday night.

Here we are at the game. Lance was NOT HAPPY about the noise. There were more BYU fans there than TCU fans, and it was loud. He cried and cried and was only happy if Mommy was holding him, poor kid. Lily actually did pretty well. We had got salt water taffy earlier at the Fort Worth Stockyards, and as long as she was supplied with candy she was happy. We're great parents like that!

My favorite part of the game was these people who had a life sized cutout of Jimmer. People were standing in line to get their picture taken with it. It made me laugh. And in case you're wondering, we are in mourning at our house with the loss of Bradon Davies from the team.

We met up with my cousin Kathleen and her husband and cute girl, Lucy. These rides were 25 cents at the stockyards, so we let them go on a few. We went out to lunch at Joe T Garcia's afterwards, and waited for over an hour. The fajitas were good, and the company was great, but Chuys is definintly better, in case you're wondering. Mmm. Chuys.
On Friday night on our way up to Fort Worth we went to Salt Lick BBQ. AMAZING! It was so good, and in a beautiful location out in the middle of the Hill Country. I even liked the potato salad and cole slaw. It didn't have mayo like most do. The meat was so good. I think the turkey was my favorite. And then they had the BEST blackberry-peach cobbler. Here's Lance enjoying the beans. If you say Cheese and take his picture he gives you the cheesiest smile!

Like mother like daughter-she loved the cobbler.

Here's Lily at the petting zoo.

And I just thought Lance was too cute in this little outfit.

Things are going well here. Lily is watching an Elmo's World about going to the potty that we just got at the library today, and just had an accident. While she's watching Elmo talk about going to the potty. I don't think she sees the irony of that, but I sure do! Lance started crawling last week, so that's fun. Lily loves that he can follow her around now. I'm missing normal spring weather-it's beautiful here today, but over the weekend is was in the 80's, which I don't appreciate for the end of February. I planted daffodil bulbs in the fall, and I actually now have daffodils! It's amazing. I think it's one of the first bulb things I've planted since being in Texas that's actually grown. I think all of our freezing temps really helped them.

My dad is back in Afghanistan, working in radio this time. It's an American company, and they have a good record as far as no loss of life, so that's good, I guess. He's not sure how long he'll be there. My mom's in Washington. We'll see him at the end of June in Utah.

Our Lonnng Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T20:36:00.000-08:00

We had a really fun, though long, day today, and I wanted to write it down so that I can have it when I turn this blog into a book. The day started for me at 3:30 AM, when I woke up to check on Lance. I then tossed and turned until 4:30, when he woke up to eat. And then tossed and turned again until 5:30, when I got up and left to register Lily for preschool. Apparently last year their were lots of people there, so the reccomendation was to get there early! It's not that I feel like she HAS to go to preschool next year, but it's a great price and would be fun for her and nice for me. I got there at 5:45 and was first there, so I left and got some bagels to keep me company, and then went running about 8 miles, to pass the time. When I got back it was about 8:00, and then Robby brought the kids by on his way to work. So we waited together and ate bagels until 9:00, when I could go in and register. The 3 year old class was already full (from kids who are already in the 2 year old class, and parish members), but we're first on the waiting list!
So then we went and got some food at Sun Harvest-their produce is SO much better than HEB. Along with some steaks to grill for dinner and flowers for Lily. We had fun this afternoon hanging out, and then Lily took a 2 hour nap! I'm pretty sure it was because she got to wear her monkey pajamas (thanks, Terrie). I took a little nap, and was woken up by my visiting teacher dropping off chocolate! That's the best way to wake up from a nap! Then after piano lessons I made chocolate covered strawberries-just dark and semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted, but it was VERY tasty.
Robby surprised me with a dozen beautiful roses. He's also taking us to West Side Story on Broadway. And got some chocolate fudge from Costco. I went to Coscto on Saturday and then sent him back to buy some for me!
We gave Lily and Lance their presents. Robby made Lily a Valentine's card, which she was very excited about and put on her door. I got her a dress and the DVD Beauty and the Beast- She was much more excited when she thought it was a book!

The funniest part was tonight when we had family night. We talked about love and being kind, and then she wanted me to play Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes on the piano. So I did, and then at the end she did a perfect summersalt! I don't know how many times I played it so that she could do the actions and then do a summersalt at the end. We were laughing pretty hard. And then she took all my piano books out of the piano bench and got her baby and put her baby to bed. By putting her in the BLACK piano bench and shutting the lid. If you use your imagination just a little bit you can imagine what it looked like she was putting her baby in! We got it on the video camera-it felt much more like Halloween than Valentine's Day. Seriously a little morbid. But of course she was clueless. She calls Lance "Baby Lancey." We think that's what our friends must call him, because we've never called him that! She sure makes us laugh.

Deak's Run for Hope

2011-02-04T14:45:00.000-08:00

This is my little guy Deakon. Deakon is an amazing boy (as you can tell by that smile!) who happens to have Ring 18, like my little Emily. He and his family live in Davis County, Utah and his mom is putting on a 5K (3 mile) race in Deakon's name, where all the procedes will go to the Chromosome 18 Registry and Research Society. And I don't know if everyone knows, but the headquarters, the only Chromosome 18 Research Society in the world, just happens to be here in San Antonio, TX! It was what brought us to Texas-when Robby was offered a job my sister reminded us that the Registry was here, and that was enough for us to say yes! They are the only center that conducts research for the Chromosome 18 (other than Trisomy 18) So, I'm writing this post to encourage EVERYBODY to click here http://deaksrunforhope.blogspot.com/ and read more about Deakon and the 5K race they are doing over Deak's 5th birthday. If you live in Utah, go run this race for Deakon and Emily! And if you like to run, but don't live in Utah, you can be a Spirit Runner http://deaksrunforhope.blogspot.com/2011/01/spirit-runners.html Which is what I am doing. And if you don't live in Utah, and don't like to run, but would like to donate to the Chromosome 18 Registry and Research Society, click here https://www.chromosome18.org/Support/MakeaDonation/tabid/150/Default.aspx
This picture was taken last March, when we went to Utah for my grandpa's funeral. It was so fun having Lily and Deakon meet!

This was July 2008, 6 months before Em passed away, at the Chromsome 18 conference here in San Antonio. We brought Lily to meet the other kids there with Ring 18, and she was so alert, awake and happy. It was like she was meeting her best friends for the first time!

Lily.

2011-01-30T19:11:00.000-08:00

Lily is just sometimes more energy than I can handle. At least patiently handle. She has had a few adventures the past few days that I just have to laugh at. I need to write them down so that I can have them when we turn this blog into a book again-I was really happy with how it turned out last time. So, back to the adventures. We'll start with church.

We've been potty training Lily, so we tend to have to leave sacrament meeting a few times to go to the bathroom. We've also been sitting in the back of the chapel because though we get to church on time, it's not before everyone else gets there and saves benches for their families. So last Sunday when we were coming back in from the bathroom Lily ran in front of me, and I thought she was just grabbing her Elmo toy she had dropped. Oh no. She saw her little friend up front and took off running. Clear up to the front row. Luckily she stopped there, and I didn't have to chase her unto the stand. We went outside and had timeout after that. Then today there was a little girl sitting behind us, and so through the whole meeting Lily kept yelling "MINE!" Though the little girl was not even trying to touch Lily's things. "Mine," and "I do it!" are her two favorite things to say.

Next, potty training. So, a few weeks ago I decided to potty train Lily. We spent an hour in the bathroom drinking juice and singing songs until she went, and then the next few days stayed home doing pretty much nothing but going potty and getting stickers and M&M's. She's now doing really well.

However...#2 is a different story. We're running a 30% success rate I would say at making it to the toilet. That 70% is NOT FUN! Especially 2 nights ago when she decided to "clean it herself." I was feeding Lance and realized Lily wasn't in the play room. But I could smell something! I went into the bathroom and she had taken off her pants and underware, making a mess on the floor, toilet, cabinets, shoes, etc. in the process. So we had a talk about getting Mommy when we have an accident, not "doing it herself." My friend suggested throwing away the underware when it happens, but when we tried that tonight Lily didn't seem to care.

Last night Lily woke up at about 5:30 saying she wanted a quesadilla. Seriously. I told her I'd get her milk instead. And then she wanted the milk, "Nice and warm," so I had to warm up her milk.

About a week ago Lily tried to drink cinnamon and sugar that we had in bowl. It got in her eye and really irritated it. So now if you tell her to stop doing something, or if she gets hurt, she's tell you "I got cinnamon in my eye." It's pretty funny.

We've been trying to read scriptures as a family before Lily goes to bed. Just the Book of Mormon stories with the pictures. Lily would not sit still, so last Sunday I told her her Elmo blanket was her scripture blanket, and we'd get it to read scriptures and cuddle on the couch. I was so proud of myself for thinking of this, and then she lost the blanket on Wednesday. We looked and looked and looked for it. Our house doesn't have too many hiding places. Then yesterday I was trying to find a cookie cutter and looked under her kitchen in the cuboard, and there it was. I thought I had looked there, but I guess it was the one place I missed. She was so excited.

Her favorite toy these days is a box that had her carseat. I showed her how its a house and she can play in it, and she loves it. She'll get in it and then say, "Come in, come in, " until you come in with her.

My favorite thing that Lily's done lately happened this morning before church. Lily figured out how to get water out of the fridge door. And our water dispencer doesn't have a lock on it. So I was making dinner before church, Robby was out home teaching, and Lily was filling up her cup with water from the fridge and then dumping it in the sink. I decided, after I'd told her once to stop, to just ignore her since she wasn't making a mess and see if she could just get it out of her system. After a few minutes of her doing this, I turned around to see the cup was somehow stuck in the water dispencer, pushing on the water button. Lily pulled on the cup, and a waterfall sprayed her in the face. The water had somehow got backed up and came rushing out, and so she was soaked. Her hair, face, and shirt were drenched. And she was crying, "I got water in my eyes!" I was laughing so hard I couldn't talk to her for a minute. I told her that's what happens when she does it herself instead of having mommy help her. We'll see if it did any good, but I sure got a good laugh out of it. Am I awful?

Lance is my little angel kid. Lily was too at this age though. Super easy, though he it totally against bottles, and just plays with sippy cups. He likes his mommy! He's nine months old, and Robby and I would really like to be able to go someplace for a night or two in May without the kids, so he needs to be done by then. I'm glad he's at least a healthy kid!

Robby's Poem-Emily's Experience on Earth

2011-01-20T20:50:00.000-08:00

This is the poem Robby wrote that he shared at Emily's funeral. I try to post it on her anniversary of her death. Last year I made it into a book with pictures and we read it as a family today. Lily actually sat and looked at all the pictures and listened. Robby told her that Emily had lots of owies in the picture of her after heart surgery, and in looking at the book afterward Lily told me that "they were mean," (because Emily had owies-someone had to have been mean!) and leaned her cheek against the picture to give Emily a hug.

Emily's Sunbeam Class!

2011-01-20T20:33:00.000-08:00

My friend sent us these pictures today, and I'd never seen them! It was a perfect thing to see on the 2 year anniversary of Em passing away. This was Emily's Sunbeam class. She had 8 boys (one's missing) and 2 girls in it-her and Nellie, who's not in this picture. Robby and I were their teachers. It was a tough crowd-8 three year olds! But we loved those kids. Emily went to a little preschool co-op twice a week. She had her own preschool, so she and I would try to go for the last hour, after her regular preschool class. You can see her sucking her thumb in this picture.

I just love all these kids. This pic was in May, 2008. Alice and Nellie still talk about Emily, and little Cael, who's next to Em, would look after Em-he'd push her in her wheelchair and help her talk in Sunbeams, and in September they were in the same preschool class, and he'd push her to class each day. It has always done my heart good to know she had so many friends! Their parents were all great about helping them accept little Emily.

Emily's Favorites

2011-01-19T12:02:00.001-08:00

Em rolling when she was 3, August 2007 Rolling when she was 4-September 2008.

Swimming with Dad. July 2008 age 4

Dad roaring and whistling at Emily.

More rolling, January 2008 3 1/2.

Tomorrow will be 2 years from when Emily passed away. I'll repost Robby's poem probably tomorrow, but instead of dwelling on sad stuff I thought I'd post Emily's favorite's. I went through her box of "stuff" today which made me remember some fun things. Like her potty charts of when she would go potty. And her hearing aid, her Redland Raccoon, the fuzzy blanket she slept with, etc. So here's some of Em's favorites. We'll start with food, because food was a big part of her life, even after she got a feeding tube, and a lot of my life was spent feeding her!

Favorite Breakfast Food: Eggs-she LOVED eggs for breakfast, and for a bit I think was getting so she could even sign eggs. She would eat them with ketchup, and then when we put her on a low-carb diet for her seizures she ate them with salsa. This is what she had pretty much every morning.

Favorite Snack: bananas and peanut butter. She got this one a lot,too. We were always trying to find ways to put more weight on her. She would make a huge mess when she would sign finished and wipe peanut butter all over her face.

Favorite Dinner: Sweet and sour meatballs. I'd grind it up in the baby food grinder and she quite Favorite Dessert: It's a tossup between cupcakes and snickerdoodles. At my brother John's wedding when she was 3 she ate 2 cupcakes and would sign more. She LOVED snickerdoodles.

Favorite Drink: Milk. She didn't drink much else. Juice was almost too thin for her-she'd choke on it. She wasn't a huge fan of Daddy's Dr. Pepper, either.

Favorite Person: Her daddy. She loved Robby. She loved me, too, and Lily, but not in the same way. She was a big time Daddy's Girl. She would sign for him or say Da if I was giving her a bath or making her do therapy. In the middle of the night if she woke up crying she'd want him. She'd cry and cry until Robby came and rocked her. He could rock her back to sleep when I couldn't. From when she was a few months old Robby would do this thing where he'd roar and whistle at her when he'd get home and say, "Emily, it's Dad." He started doing it because we didn't know how much she could hear, but her eyes would get all big when he'd do it, even at 3 months old. She loved it! Before she passed away she got so she would laugh when he'd do it. And a few times over the course of her life she'd roar back it him.

She did like eating for me :) I was always the person who could get her to drink her bottle when she was a baby, and then to eat regular food later.

Favorite Activity: Rolling! Emily LOVED to move and roll. She would roll from side to side and kick her legs super fast. When she was eighteen months she learned to roll over and would roll across the room until she hit something and got herself turned around. And then she'd roll back. When she was 3 1/2 she got so she would roll and get up on her knees and rock back and forth. Her head control was always the best if she was walking (with help) or bouncing on a ball or something. She just loved movement.

Favorite Toy: This was tricky-she didn't respond to too many toys. She did have switch button though that had Robby roaring and me talking to her, and she would hit it over and over again.

Favorite Animal: Dogs. She always responded to dogs. And had no fear, just like her little sister. I remember when she was in vision school a seeing eye dog coming and she would just hold still and touch it. One of her favorite babysitters, Cindy, has a dog and Emily would roll around on the floor while he'd play with her. We always talked about someday getting her a dog or a cat. She liked cats, too.

Favorite Texas Place: Six Flags: Fiesta Texas. The summer she turned 3 she and I had season passes there, and it was great-we could get her a disability bracelet every time we went, and with the bracelet she was able to go on all the rides that kids her size who could walk could go on. She went on the carousel, swings, ferris wheel, scooby doo ride, tea cups, train, cars. It was so fun for me to have her participating in such "normal" activities. Sometimes she was pretty sleepy through them-she didn't really like the bright lights outside. But she did pretty well.

Favorite Texas Activity: Swimming. We swam a lot. That's about all you can do in Texas in the summer. It always seemed to relax her, and she always had a great tan! (Her mom DOES NOT tan)

Favorite Song: Called To Serve. She liked other songs, too, like I am a Child of God, but if I played Called to Serve, or if we sang it in church, she would get super excited and kick her legs and move her arms. It was always fun to see! She loved music in general, and would roll around while I played the piano and taught piano lessons. I'll add more to this list as I think of things.

Favorite Sign: Finished. She learned how to sign lots of words, especially since she was blind and partially deaf (she heard pretty well with her hearing aid-the white band in all the pictures). She learned food, milk, more, finished, hearing aid, mom, dad, eggs. But the one she did the most consistantly was Finished. She'd sign it by swiping by her eye with her right hand. But it was definitly Finished. She'd do it if she didn't want to eat something, if she was done eating, if she didn't want to be in the car, if she wanted out of her stander or was done with therapy, or after surgery when she was not happy and just done!

Potty Training Emily (Yes, Emily!)

2011-01-10T20:37:00.000-08:00

Emily with her vision teacher, Wendy Drezek, on the last day of school.

Today marked the start of potty training Lily. Officially. We've tried sitting on the toilet before, but today I was determined. She sat on it for an hour while we sang songs before she went, but since then she's gone 3 other times. We also had 3 accidents. But hopefully we're on our way. It's brought back a lot of memories of potty training Emily. Yes, Emily. I don't know how many people knew that she was actually very good at going on the potty, especially from ages 2 1/2-3 1/2. My dad asked me tonight if I'd ever written about it and I said no, and he said I should for other families to know it's possible.

Just before Emily turned 2 she started going to a vision "school" class twice a week. The class had kids ages eighteen months to 3 years old who had vision loss. They ranged from kids who just had vision loss to kids with cerbral palsy with cortical vision loss to kids like Emily who had multiple issues going on at once. Wendy Drezek, the teacher, is AMAZING, and has been teaching for years and years (she could retire but hasn't yet because she loves it). One of the things they would do is every day they would put all the kids (5-7 kids) on the potty. They had a little potty for each kid and they'd hold them from behind and sing a potty song. When I first saw it I really thought they (Wendy and the aides) were crazy.

"There's no way these kids can go on the potty!"I thought.

Not only were they all visually impaired, but most have other developmental and mental challenges, too. Wendy said that they could and do learn. When Emily had been going to the class 3 days a week for few months, after she turned two, I noticed Emily would wake up in the morning with a dry diaper. And shortly after that, I think it was around Febuary or March, when Em was 2 1/2, Wendy told me she'd gone on the potty during class. I was shocked! She was very consistent and by the end of the year would go almost every day on the potty. She was the best in the class! One time she was being evaluated for pre-k and Wendy said she was super fussy, and kept saying "Hold on Emily, we'll go potty in a minute." And then when she got her on the potty she pooped and peed like crazy. Wendy said it was the biggest mess to clean up but she was so proud of Emily for showing off for the evaluation!

We got a potty for the house and Emily got so she would go 3-4 times a day. If she didn't go it was my fault for forgetting to put her on. I would sit on the ground and hold her from behind while she'd go. And then afterwards I'd say, "Good job, Emily!" And she'd get so excited and smile and start talking (Emily talk). We had the most success the summer of Emily's 3rd birthday. She still went to school, but it was with Ms. Rebecca, who was also her vision therapist at home (she taught for Wendy for summer school). She would go to the potty at school, and then at home, too. She'd even go in the middle of the night when she'd wake up. I was always so proud of her. I still have the charts where I kept track of when she'd go. She would also go for my friend Jessica. She'd also go sometimes when therapists were over at our house. I was always so proud every time she would go, I just can't even say how much. She'd go both #1 and #2. When she started pre-K I don't think they quite believed that she would go on the potty, and they also didn't have the time to devote to waiting to hold her on it (more kids, less aides), so she wasn't quite as successful after that. But she'd still go for me at home.

I think Lily is smart for figuring it out, but I also expect her to. I will always be grateful for a teacher who expected things out of Emily that I (who really tried to have high expectations for her) never thought possible!

After Christmas in Washington-Camille's house

2011-01-09T16:31:00.000-08:00

On the 28th Robby's dad drove us over to the Seattle Temple, where we met Steve, who picked us up and took us home. John and Coya and Janica and Kacey got in the same day, so as soon as we were all there we had Christmas again. Here's Steve and Lance playing. Kind of. Mom and Dad got the boys Colts uniforms. They were SO excited. From Ryan, "Wow, the Colts are my second favorite team!" It was pretty funny. They were outside playing football with Grandpa any time he would go out and play. Which I think was every day. We had beautiful weather while we were home. Cold, and it snowed the first morning we were there, but no rain, so we got to play outside.

Mom made all the granddaughters quilts. This one is Lily's. I love it!

And this one is mine. Its on my bed now.

Here's Mom with the granddaughters who were there. We sure missed Kylee and McKinnley!

Lily and Akaila are 3 1/2 months apart, and were great buddies. They just followed each other around everywhere, slept in the same room, went bowling together. It was really fun to watch them. I'm always amazed that considering their moms are twins, they look NOTHING alike.

Lily loved playing in the snow. We were quite impressed-at home she's always saying she's cold, but she stayed outside until we made her go in. She kept on these gloves much better than the other ones.

I didn't get a good picture, but Braxton and Ryan would jump up and down while Lance sat in this bouncer and laughed and laughed. It was quite funny. Braxton was Lance's pal, he always wanted to know where Lance was and played with him. He'll be a great big brother to his brother who's on the way!

Grandma and Grandpa gave Lily these sunglasses and lipstick. She was quite funny with the sunglasses in the bouncer.

Sunset from the back porch.

Lily was looking at pictures on Facebook with Aunt Sarah. Lily loves to sing, "Happy birthday, Aunt Sarah." She turned 20 the day before we got there.

Braxton was so happy and easy going the whole trip. It was great. He loved his Uncle Kacey.

We went 5 pin (Canadian) bowling up in Canada. The ball is like a shotput ball. Lily and Akaila shared a turn and loved pushing the ball down the lane.

Mt. Baker from Semiahmoo. This was the first place that we took Emily when she came off oxygen. She came off oxygen while we were home at Robby's house over Christmas, when she was 5 months old. Semiahmoo was the first place we went without taking the oxygen with us. I love this view. Semiahmoo is also where we got engaged and where our wedding reception was.

We tried to get a picture of Mom with the girls at the beach, but it didn't work too well.

Brax and his pal, Lance.

Dad spent lots of time reading to the different grandkids. Akaila had a much better attention span than Lily did, though.

John with Mady. She didn't feel well for a lot of the trip but she was happy here.

We had such a great time. I didn't get any pictures of it, because I'm dumb, but Mom redid her kitchen this summer and it looks so good! It was really fun to cook and visit in. She has beautiful wood floors and granite countertops, two ovens, and a big island, so way more cooking space. She also made a fun little reading nook. I think there was always someone sitting in it reading. We loved being home in Washington-I'm definitly a Northwest girl at heart, like Janica said. Hopefully sometime in the next several years we'll be closer to family! Until then, I will enjoy the warm weather in Texas! (At least in the winter-don't love the summers)

Christmas in Washington-at Robby's

2011-01-09T15:36:00.001-08:00

We flew in on Christmas Eve to Spokane and then drove 2 hours to Robby's house in Quincy, getting there at 11:00 PM (1:00 am our time). Lily was in her carseat on the plane, and slept a bit on the 2nd flight from Denver to Spokane, but then was wide awake the 2 hour car ride home. I was so tired and had to entertain her and keep her from hitting her brother; it was the hardest part of the trip for me! They slept in Christmas morning, so that was good.
Here's Lily playing on the lawn mower. She thought it was great fun, and would not keep her gloves on. One of the things we really wanted to do was to get a picture of the 4 generations of Hammond men. Robby's the only boy in his family. Grandpa Hammond drove up from the Tri-Cities. It's always fun to visit and catch up with him.

Lance getting to know his Great Grandpa.

Robby's sister Beckie has a boy, Thomas, who turns one the beginning of February. She helped us play with Lance. It was a lot of fun to have the two boy cousins together.

Lance has Thomas' pacifier in his mouth in this picture.

Robby's mom with the two boys.

We went over to Robby's cousin's house in Moses Lake. Lance became great friends with Neil.

On Christmas day we went out to Emily's gravesite. Robby's parents had already cleaned it off and put the Christmas tree there. It was only our second time seeing the gravesite. I was having a hard time figuring out how to explain it to Lily. Because Emily's body is there, but we don't really feel like Emily is there. Her spirit at least. Which is all hard to explain to a two year old. Finally Robby said it's a place we go to to remember Emily. Which I thought was a good explanation. While we were there we rolled around in the snow like how Emily used to roll. The day before, at our house in Texas, we'd watched videos of Emily from past Christmas's.

Lily looks just like Emily to me in this picture. When I first saw it for a split second I thought it was Emily rolling around!

Lily letting snowballs fly. We attempted sledding, but she fell of the sled and got a face full of snow, so it didn't go so well. There's a video on facebook of it if you're curious!

Sorry, this picture is out of order. This is at the airport on Christms Eve. She had to carry Elmo with her.

Christmas Eve

2011-01-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

The 23rd we had Christmas Eve. Here Lily is giving gold to Baby Jesus. The missionaries sang for us.

Lily opening her new Elmo pajamas.

Lance's present from Santa Claus on Christmas morning (the 24th). He quite likes it!

Lily's big presents from Santa included a Tickle Me Elmo that only cost Santa $6! She loves it and had to take it with us to Washington.

Her other Santa present was this grocery cart, that she's been having great fun with.

Lance had an accident, so here's my chubby naked baby Christmas morning.

We flew out to Washington on the afternoon of the 24th. It made for a crazy day, and I've been cleaning up from it ever since we got home, but it was really fun.

'Tis the Season

2010-12-14T06:24:00.001-08:00

I've had a lot of thoughts this Christmas season. While it can be a bit stressful, I have to say that I'm really enjoying myself. Last Christmas was hard, because it was our first Christmas without Emily. The year before that was awful-it was when Emily was in the hospital right before Christmas. The actual Christmas was wonderful; we were so glad we were able to go home. But leading up to it was beyond stressful. So I'm enjoying the non-stress, relativily speaking, of the season.
It's kind of crazy-this is our 7th Christmas of having children, but the first Christmas of having one who really understands and participates in what's going on. And I love it! I loved it with Emily. We would sing songs, I would read her a Christmas book every night, etc. Our favorite was listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir together. The Christmas First Presidency Devotional just makes me miss Emily so much.
But Lily has a different level of interaction. It's just so fun to try to teach her about Santa Claus, and baby Jesus, and Jingle Bells, and the Christmas stories. Each night she wants me to sing to her "Baby Jesus." (Away in a Manger) I've tried telling her the Christmas story, so now she wants to hear about Baby Jesus on a trip! So I'll tell her Mary and Joseph had to go on a trip far away and there were no houses for them to stay in. Sometimes she'll add "To the beach!" (Since we went on a trip to the beach) and I have to tell her "No, not to the beach!"
We've had fun painting some presents, and she loves seeing Christmas trees. She loves the book Christmas Orange, about the little girl in the orphanage who doesn't get an orange for Christmas, so the other kids share. It's just really fun that she understands so much of it. Lance rolls all over the place. He's trying to eat the tree.

Lance is a pretty big fella. When I carry him in the baby bjornn in the grocery store I get comments that he's about as big as me. After seeing this picture I can see what they're talking about!

Lance loves his bouncer, and Lily tries to sit on it. They're pretty funny. She loves to make him laugh. And when he wakes up she'll say, "Hi buddy; Hi happy. " Or "Hi handsome." It's so fun to hear her say it like we do.

Last Friday we took the kids up to the temple to see it at night. It was only Lily's 2nd time to the temple, and she loved it. She especially loved putting her hands in the top of this fountain! She tends to think lots of buildings and castles are temples, so I try to tell her that it needs an Angel Moroni on it to be a temple. I know that there are a few that don't have Angel Moroni's, but I figure we can learn that later!

On Saturday we ran in the 4th annual City Manager's 5K run. Robby pushes the kids every year in the stroller while I run it, and this year I won! I was pretty excited-it's only the 2nd race I've ever won-I never did in high school. My time was 21:09, around a 6:48 mile pace. I think pushing the kids in the stroller several times a week really helped me be in shape-its so much easier to run not pushing them! Lily was really cute; the rest of the weekend she kept saying "Mommy won a race-Yeah!" and then would clap. They had waited for me at a part on the race and cheered me on. Afterwards we went to the zoo, and on the choo-choo train, which Lily was even MORE excited about.

For Christmas we bought Lily a swingset, which Robby put together over the weekend. Lily loves it-this was after church on Sunday. The dress was one of Emily's though it hardly fit around Emily's little pot belly!

Isn't he handsome? I'm so baised.

We're at the Beach-The Ocean! I want to Watch the Game!

2010-11-28T19:24:00.000-08:00

That's what Lily kept saying this weekend-"I'm at the beach-the ocean. We're on our trip. I want to watch the game." We went to a BYU basketball tournament down at South Padre Island for Thanksgiving. We really had a great time. We did Thanksgiving Wednesday and then packed up our leftovers Thursday morning and drove 5 hours down to South Padre. Our condo was really nice and was right on the beach-we had beautiful views and you could hear the ocean. Lily had been talking about going on our trip to the beach all week, and was so excited to get there and play on the beach. They both did good in the car and were happy the whole trip. For the most part. And they both slept through the night each night. Much more successful than camping! Lily seeing the ocean for the first time.

It was warm but pretty windy on Thursday when we got there.

Lily loved playing with her dad in the waves.

Lance's reaction to the water. I know-he's so excited! Lily was afraid of it when we went to Hawaii when she was about Lance's age. He just didn't care.

On Friday we went to this little conservation dolphin place that had fish exhibits. Lily LOVED seeing all the fishies!

This cuboard at the condo kept Lily very entertained.

At the BYU basketball game. We were on the 4th row, and were on TV! Lance was on the most-he was short enough sitting on Robby's lap to get in a few shots. The kids did NOT like the cheering. I had to move up with them through quite a bit of it. And then it went into double overtime! It was killing me! But it was a fun game, and we won, so that was the most important thing.

Lance at the beach on Saturday. He's so fun!

Lily and Robby on Saturday. She's wearing my shirt because it was kind of breezy outside.

We went to a restaurant to watch the BYU-Utah football game. Lily is mimicking Robby. I took her down to the beach during half time and most of the 3rd quarter, but they both did really good sitting there for so long.

Lance at his 2nd BYU game. We won by one point-it was a great game. And so fun to see them so close.
This morning before we left. We sure had a good time. And of course the best weather was the day we left.

Bonding with Emily

2010-11-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

Lily had quite the bonding day with Emily today. She's wearing Emily's outfit that we took family pictures in when Lily was a baby, and that Emily wore on her first day to Pre-K. Then when her friend came over she wanted to play with Emily's wheelchair, so they took turns giving each other rides. Then tonight she's wearing Emily's princess pajamas and is sleeping in Emily's bed. She's never slept in there before, but wanted to tonight, so we're letting her. We'll see how it goes! It's been 2 years since Emily got sick in November, so kind of tough. It's not as hard as last year, though, so that's good. Just tender memories.

This was the other night. We were trying to get pictures of the 2 of them. Not super successful.

Lance looks like me, to me, in my baby pictures. My kids never look like me!

Last week when we were at the zoo, I think.

Lily has quite the little personality. She can now recongize the letters L and P, that we've done in "school." She can even find them on the keyboard and other places. But then she thinks that every thing else starts with P or L. We're talking about fire this week and when I ask her what fire starts with she says "P!" She is getting better about saying prayers, and when we pray for family she always wants to pray for Aunt Kapy. (Aunt Kathie). It's pretty cute. For naps and bedtime we have to read The Napping House, Choo-Choo (The Little Engine that Could) and scipers (The scriptures). And then sing I Love to See the Temple and I am a Child of God.

Lance slept through the night last night! 9 hours in his crib! He's gone 7 before, which I count as sleeping through the night-he'll wake up around 5:00 and eat and go back to bed. But last night he went from 10:30-7:30! He goes down between 8:00-8:30 every night and then I usually will feed him again before I go to bed. 2 weeks ago I let him cry it out when I put him to bed. He needed to learn to sleep in his own crib-before that he was only sleeping in his carseat. He cried for 2 hours the first night, but the next night went right down, and now takes naps and sleeps at night in his crib just fine. Yeah! And then I also let him cry it out last week when he woke up at 3:00 AM. He was doing it every night, and I wouldn't even feed him, I'd just put him in his swing. So I made him cry it out without putting him in his swing. He cried 50 minutes the first night, 30 the 2nd, but since then has done pretty well. Now watch, tonight he'll be up at 3:00. Oh well! I think that's about it. Hopefully the sleeping continues-I felt like a new woman today!

The Tortoise and the Hare

2010-10-31T15:48:00.000-07:00

We had a really good time for Halloween this year. It was the first year we've had a child able to really participate and understand what's going on, and it was really fun. Lily was a bit shy seeing everyone in her costumes, but had a good time. I found this turtle costume at a consignment shop back in August and thought it was too cute to pass up. Since I had this turtle costume for Lance, Robby had the brilliant idea of being the Hare, as in "The Tortoise and the Hare." I laughed and laughed when he told me of his idea. And so he made these ears out of cardboard and painted them white and put them on a headband, and then bought the sweatband and made himself a race bib. Lily and I are Snow White and the wicked queen. That is a raisin superglued onto my nose, in case you are wondering. Don't worry, it comes off with nail polish remover! My mom made Lily's dress for Christmas for dress up.

Here's the queen and Snow White.

Snow White eating her apple!

Notice the tail-a garbage bag with batting in it.

The Tortoise and the Hare.

Robby from the back.

Lily won a cupcake on the cake walk.

Robby passed out the candy and I took Lily around.

Lily was pretty good at saying "trick or treat" and Tank u! (Thank you, while signing it)

At home, all done!

A Night to Remember, and Never Repeat!

2010-10-23T18:39:00.000-07:00

So Robby and I decided it would be fun to try taking our kids camping. We've never been camping in Texas, and have only been 3 times since we've been married-twice before kids and once last summer in Washington with Robby's family. We got out our tent, but decided (I decided) that it was too small for the 4 of us. So we borrowed a friend's. But Lily enjoyed playing with the tent in the yard. Robby got home from work yesterday and we finished getting ready to go. Robby and I were both wearing hats, so Lily wanted to wear one, too. We went a state park not too far away.

They have tent pads at each campsite to set up your tent-different from Washington where you just find a spot you like within your campsite. Lily is saying "tent!"

Once the tent was set up Robby got the fire going. We had made tinfoil dinners, but hadn't precooked the meat. Next time we will do that. We did at least pre-cook the vegetables. Amazingly, the meat got done, even my chicken. We had forgot the salt and pepper, so the food didn't really taste like much, but it was filling at least! Lily is eating grahm crackers. Yum! We had neighbors next to us playing their radio, which was slightly annoying, but they turned it off not too late, and that's not nearly as annoying as we turned out to be!

Then of course we roasted marshmellows for smores. Lily enjoyed it, but she had more fun eating the marshmellows and chocolate separately.

She seriously just shoved them in there. We tried to get her to say chubby bunny. No luck!

So this picture was just before the you-know-what hit the fan. We had an airmattress for Robby and I, Lance slept in his carseat (he still sleeps in it at home, so he was fine), and we had a pack n' play for Lily. Which she did NOT want to sleep in. She was right next to us, but kept screaming and crying. Which at home is fine. Camping with a bunch of people all around you, not so fine. But whenever we put her next to us, she thought it was a great game, and would scream and laugh and bug Lance. So then we'd put her in the pack n play. And she'd cry. So we'd get her out. And she'd laugh and laugh, showing NO signs of sleep. So at 11:30 I decided to take her out to the van and strap her in her carseat, and then once she was aleep bring her back to the tent. She fell asleep really fast, but then back in the tent woke up and started crying, as soon as I'd laid back down. By now it's midnight. So I told Robby we had two options-he could sleep in the van with Lily, or we could pack up and go home. I couldn't sleep out there because I knew Lance would be up at 3:00 AM. Which he was. On the nose. So Robby took his book and pillow, and carried Lily out to the van. Luckily it was a full moon. Or not luckily. Maybe that was the problem. I had cracked the windows a bit, but it was pretty humid outside, so Robby tried turning on the car to crack the windows more. The problem was, he had locked the car with the remote key, instead of from the van door. So when he tried to start the van, the van thought it was being stolen, and the alarm went off. And went off. And went off. At 12:30 AM. In a silent campground. I came running out of the tent with no shoes, and was yelling at Robby for the keys, but he couldn't remember in his panic what he did with them. He ended up opening the engine and unplugging the battery to get the honking to stop. So I'm pretty sure we were REALLY hated. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry! We thought about just packing up and going home then, but we didn't know if we'd be able to get the horn to go off when Robby put the battery back. So we stayed. Lance and I in the tent, Robby and Lily in the van. I got about 5 hours of sleep, Robby about 2. It started to rain at 7:00 AM, so I got up then and started taking down camp. Luckily it didn't rain much. This picture pretty much captures Lily.

And this picture captures Lance! Guess who got more sleep last night!

Right when we took this picture there was a huge burst of thunder and lightning which terrified Lily. Lance was fine with it, though.

It took us a bit, and the car alarm did go off again when Robby put the battery back, but he figured out to push the unlock button on the remote and it stopped. We got out of there before anyone could come "visit" us. And got bagels back in town. You know those neighbors you pray you won't end up next to? That was us!
Lily really wanted to go down to the river, so we stopped by for a few minutes on our way out.

My hero! He was so good. We will NOT be camping any time soon-not until Lily is sleeping in her own bed. She has never been a cuddler, or been able to sleep with Robby and I, and last night proved it once again!

On a totally different note, my dad comes home from Afghansitan tomorrow! He will probably go back, but hopefully not for awhile. He's done at 1TV.

What's the worst question?

2010-10-15T21:16:00.001-07:00

There are lots of bad questions, and I've had a quite a few of them asked, especially regarding Emily. But I think many women would agree, that one of the worst questions to be asked, when you are NOT pregnant, is if you ARE pregnant. Which happened to me tonight. And when I asked, "Why, do I look like I have a tummy?" I was then told that, Yes, I do look like I have a tummy. I'm back to how I looked after Emily and after Lily! I can just laugh it off, but seriously, not super happy about it. But, it makes a funny story, right?

Sleep, Baby, Sleep!

2010-09-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

So here's what's going on with Mr. Lance. He's really a good baby. he wakes up between 7:00-8:00, is awake for 1/2 hour-1 hour, takes a 1/2 hour-45 minute nap, wakes up again around 9:00, sleeps again around 11:30-1:00, and then takes another nap from 3:00-5:00. And then goes to bed around 8:00. He eats every 3 hours, about 7:00, 10:00, etc. So he has a decent day time schedule. The problems are, #1, he won't sleep laying down. Refuses. Even if he is so, so tired. He screams and screams. Then as soon as I put him in his carseat he goes right to sleep. Without crying. So it's hard to let him scream in his bed, because I know he'll go right to sleep in his carseat. I don't think he has reflux, because he'll play on the ground just fine for a long time, right after he eats. We've tried getting him to sleep on his stomach, too, but he doesn't like that, either. So my question is, do I let him just keep sleeping in his carseat, or do I make him cry it out? We go to the doctor tomorrow, so I'll ask him, too.

Our other issue is nighttime. He will eat around 10:00 Pm, and then again around 2:00, and if I let him again at 4:00, 6:00. The other night when he woke up at 4:00 I put him in his swing without feeding him and he went until 8:00. We started him on cereal the other day, and two nights ago he only woke up once, and last night he was up at 9:30, 11:30 (where I fed him) and then at 2:00. So at 2:00 I put him in his swing again without feeding him, and he slept until 7:15! So now I know he can make it through the night, so do I let him cry in the middle of the night when he wakes up, or just put him in his swing like I did last night. I think that's what I'll do for a bit, and hope it helps him establish the pattern of not needing to eat. If he still cries in his swing I'll feed him. But eventually I've got to figure something else out. So that's what's on my mind this morning. Any thoughts?

Randomness

2010-09-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

This is the last picture that I took of Lily and Emily together. It was a day or two before Emily went to the hospital for the last time. She went to the hospital the day Lily turned 5 months old, and today Lance turned 5 months old. It's kind of a landmark for me, and I've been waiting for this day since Lance was born. I can't really describe why. I guess it's because 5 months is the longest I've ever had 2 kids at home-Emily lived for one more week but was at the hospital. And we just remember Lily at the age of 5 months so well, because she was just the thing that gave us a little bit of sunshine in an otherwise very gloomy time. I took this picture of Lily and Lance the other day, and didn't even realize that Lily was wearing the same shirt that Em was in their last picture together until I just went to put these pictures on the blog. You can see that Lance is a bit bigger then Lily was at 5 months! Probably because the kid still wakes up twice in the middle of the night to eat, and Lily was sleeping through the night easily by 5 months.

Ok, here's my other random thoughts. I love chocolate covered cranberries. I've eaten a bag the last 24 hours. Like about a pound. They're dark chocolate, and at least they're not chocolate covered peanuts. I therefore justify myself.

School with Lily has been fun. We've done it every day for at least 15 minutes-sometimes that's all of me she wants! Except yesterday. The van was dead and so Robby came home to jump start it for us and it just threw my entire day off. I'm hoping to get a bit structured and more into a routine.

I'm thankful for the bookclubs I go to. I've realized that I've read so many good books that I would have otherwise missed out on. Because I am not good at making myself read things other than airhead books! Some of the ones I've enjoyed are The Help, The Book Thief, Three Cups of Tea, and the list goes on. And of course we just all read Mockingjay. So thank you ladies!

Most of you who read this know that my dad runs a television station in Kabul, Afghanistan. My mom has put a commerical that the station created and aired during Ramadan. http://daveandjilladventures.blogspot.com/ If you watch it, keep in mind that during Ramadan the people are fasting from sunup to sundown. So the boy in the commerical has not had anything to eat all day. And the boy who is the beggar in the commerical really was a beggar. He was found by someone at the station and given the job of being a dubber, and in exchange is getting fed, an education, and a bit of money.

And my last bit of randomness, I'm thankful for a husband who does the dishes after dinner.

Lily's School

2010-09-16T17:26:00.000-07:00

So I've been wanting to do some more crafts and things with Lily, but haven't really known how to-it's hard to find the time in the day! And I've kind of been wanting a new project, so last night I decided that Lily and I are going to have "school" every day after lunch for 1/2 hour. I'm not really sure what we're going to do for a curriculum yet, or what I want to do for themes, activities, etc. But I figure I have time in my day to spend 1/2 hour devoted to Lily and playing with her, and I'd just as soon have it be somewhat structured. Just for my sake. Not that we don't play at other times during the day, but usually it's more me getting her her toy, or playing with her for 5 minutes or so and then doing something else. So I'm starting another blog to keep track of what we do, so that I can go back to it later, or so that next year I can find the activities that we did. So here's the address if you're interested! http://lilysschool.blogspot.com. Here goes nothing!

Go BYU?

2010-09-12T18:35:00.001-07:00

Robby is slightly obsessed with BYU football. Anybody who knows him will laugh and say that's a bit of an understatement. He went to the BYU-Washington game last week with his dad and brother-in-laws and had a fabulous time. He got Lance this shirt at BYU, and it's size 12 months, but fits him great. (I think the size was just wrong). This was before BYU started playing so awful yesterday. Lily loves putting things on her head and wearing my shoes. It makes us laugh. She also is now into Elmo and has an Elmo sing-a-long DVD that she LOVES to watch. We only let her watch it once a day-usually while I'm excerising or trying to feed Lance. She's figured out counting this week-I was mad at her and counted "one, two...", and she goes "THREE!" and was so proud of herself. It was pretty hard not to laugh. Since then she's been trying, but it goes more, "One, one, three, one, three..."

She put on this headband all by herself. And then she'll go "I pretty." She wears Emily's headbands all the time.

Lance watching his first BYU game last week.

Lily will lay down by Lance and play with him; in general she's been nicer this week. Her hair looks like this if I don't do it.

We went and saw Robby at work last week-it was Lance's first time being there.

Overall things are going well. I feel like I'm not getting anything done-I don't have any projects I'm working on or anything, which makes me feel like I'm wasting time. Not that being home with my kids is wasting time. Because it's not at all. I just know I could be also doing more than what I am doing. I've started teaching piano again, but don't have as many students as I usually do. I wouldn't mind having a few more. Lance does well during the day, but is only sleeping at the most 5 hours at night. The last few nights it's been more like 3 hours. Lily was sleeping 5 hours at a time by the time she was 2 weeks old, so considering Lance is 4 1/2 months old it feels like he's NEVER sleep through the night. At least he's healthy and happy!

Deja Vu

2010-08-29T16:44:00.000-07:00

For the past several weeks I've been having some strong cases of Deja vu, and it all seemed to come to a head this weekend. Specifically, I've been reminded a lot lately of Emily, and of those several months before she died. I think it's for several reasons. The first is, right now Lance is the same size and the same age that Lily was when Emily got sick, the month or so before she passed away. He's is 4 months old, which was the age Lily was when Em got sick in December and then when we went home for Christmas. So Lance is doing the same things that I remember Lily doing when Emily was still here.

And Lily now is about the same size as Em was before she passed away. She's wearing the clothes Em did. So I just think of her a lot. Like the other day I took Lance and Lily running in the double jogging stroller. Lily would try to hold Lance's hand, and he would hold onto her just like Lily used to with Em. Emily would move her hands and smack Lily, and Lily would try to grab Em's hands or lick her arm. They had their own interactions, and Lily had just started to really get to know Emily, just like Lance is now really figuring out who Lily is.

Another reason for the deja vu, is Lance is very similar in development right now to Emily. He likes to roll around and play on the ground and bat at toys, just like she used to. Last night he was on the floor making very cute noises, and Robby was on the computer. Robby couldn't take it and came over and laid on the ground and played with him, just like he used to with Emily. Every night with Em he'd get down on the floor and roll around with her and growl and whistle and make her laugh.

Flying home to Washington by myself last week made me remember all the times I flew home by myself with Emily. She was always so good on the flights, and I could feed her and play and then read my book. At home I could put Lance on the floor next to my dad in the bedroom, or carry him around outside, just like I used to with Em. When I went home with just Lily, after Emily had passed away, she was older and was crawling around and stuff. But Lance is happy to be on the floor near people, and it just reminds me of Emily.

This time of year confuses me, too. In Texas the spring, summer, and fall all tend to blend together, and I have a hard time remembering what month it is. Is it August or May? October or April? Seriously. Every other place I've lived you can tell the seasons because in the fall the leaves are changing colors, winter it's cold and bare, spring there's new stuff growing, and summer is warmer and the grass is still green. Texas, it all looks the same to me. I even bought tomatoes again yesterday for a second growing season. Which I should go water. Right now.

Lily is cute with Lance, and plays with him and will try to entertain him. I try not to think about it, but it makes me so sad that Emily's not here for Lily to help and talk to and play with. I can just see her giving toys to Emily, pushing her around in the wheelchair, talking to her, giving her hugs, etc. I get teary when I see children with their brothers or sisters who have disabilities-I just think they're so lucky! Everyone always told us a brother or sister would help Emily, and the timing just didn't work out the way we had planned, which tends to be the case with lots of things. I know that Lily came when she did for a reason, and that Emily passed away when she did for a reason, but it doesn't not make it hard!

Emily would have been starting first grade this week, which is another reason for my deja vu. I know that Emily doesn't care about not starting first grade-she's much happier where she is! But I remember the 3 years we had school shopping and then going to school, and it's now just weird that I'm at home with a baby and toddler. I've gone backward. I never really had this time with Emily, because from the beginning we had therapists, doctors, etc. So to just be home with my kids is very different. I enjoy it, but I sure feel like I waste a lot of time, because I'm not on the schedule that I used to be on.

I feel very blessed to be the mom of 3 beautiful children. Last night laying in bed I could just see Emily rolling around on the ground kicking her legs and squealing and so happy, and I love the memories, but it sure hurts!

Worry Free Washington Trip

2010-08-27T16:55:00.001-07:00

I say worry free Washington, because my dad was home from Afghanistan, so we didn't have to worry about him. And Lily was safe at home in Texas with Robby, so I didn't have to worry about her beating up her brother or getting into things she shouldn't while I was visiting home. It was just a very nice, relaxing vacation at home. Thanks to everyone who watched Lily and to Robby who encouraged me to go! I went home to see my dad-it's the first time I've been home while he's home since last August, though I saw him in March in Utah for my grandpa's funeral. He was only home for 2 weeks to have a medical procedure done, and so Robby told me to go for it and take Lance home to meet Grandpa and his cousins and Aunt Sarah and Uncle Steve.
Our first day home we went up to Mt. Baker Ski Area and Heather Meadows. This is Mount Shuksan from Picture Lake, a very famous mountain. Isn't it beautiful? I LOVE it! While we were home Mom was having her kitchen redone, so we ate every meal outside. Mom did a great job of cooking out on the grill. We all ate off of paper plates, but Dad got the real stuff :-) This was my favorite meal-Sockeye Salmon caught that morning and grilled. YUM! Doesn't get much fresher than that!

We went out to the beach quite a few times while we were home. Lance loved being outside. This was the first time that Dad had met Lance. On Sunday while we were at church Lance was on my lap and would just stare at Dad. Then when Dad would look at him he would smile and smile. It was so nice to have him get to know his grandpa a bit!

The first night home we had a cookout out at the beach. Braxton really loved Lance and always wanted to know where he was. He sang The Wheels on the Bus to him over and over, and did a pretty good job holding him. Brax is Janica's 2nd-he's 5.

Here's all the boy cousins together. This was the first time they all met.
It was really cold up at Heather Meadows, so we all got warm by the fire.

Can you tell we're up in the clouds? After this picture we drove up even higher, and couldn't see anything. Literally. You had to watch the yellow line to see where to drive. We went back down lower afterwards to have our picnic where it was a bit warmer!

It was so nice to have Mom and Dad together. Dad's now back in Afghanistan, and is planning on staying until March. He'll come home for Christmas, but that's probably it. Mom sent him back with a huge suitcase full of food. Literally. That's all that was in one of those big missionary sized suitcases. He even went back with a cooler of cheese!

Here they are with Janica's kids and Lance.

This telescope was free and you could look closer at Mt. Shuksan. Janica's boys were very excited to be in Mt. Baker National Forest because apparently there's an I Carly episode where they go to Mt. Baker National Forest to look for Bigfoot. Otherwise known in the Northwest as Sasquatch. So this man in the background was showing them the Sasquatch's tracks on the face of Mt. Shuksan. And his cave. The boys were SO excited and would say, "I see it, I see it!" The rest of us were dying laughing.

Sisters, sisters, There were never such devoted sisters...

Mom's new kitchen. It will be so fun to see it over Christmas.

I think this may be my favorite picture from the trip.

This beach is 5-10 minutes from our house. Can you see why I wouldn't mind moving back???

I love this picture, too. Grandpa with all his grandsons. There are 5 girls between Brax and Lance. It goes Ryan, Emily, Braxton, McKinnley, Akaila, Kylee, Lily, Mady, and then Lance.

Dad would give Akaila rocks to throw. Braxton is going to be football player. Hopefully for BYU so his Uncle Robby can go watch him play!

My best friend, Bekah, just had a baby, Max, and we go to see them. They live up in Canada. Max is 8 weeks old and Lance is 4 months. He's a good sized kid

Besides the obvious being with family it was so nice to be able to run where I wasn't dying from sweating so much, go be able to sleep with blankets on and no airplanes flying overhead, and to walk around outside in bare feet! Oh, to live where there's soft grass again!

Lily's Birthday

2010-08-27T14:27:00.001-07:00

Oops, I did these in the wrong order. Here's her kitchen in it's new home. And her new table. It's provided great entertainment. I made the apron for her, and she actually wears it. I was proud of myself. Sewing anything for me is a huge accomplishment! Eating her cupcake at her new table. Happy girl!

We went out to lunch and I got Lily a milkshake. She drank the whole thing! I figured it was ok since it was her birthday.

Lily was very serious when she saw her new kitchen. It was pretty funny. She gets like that when she really likes something.

She's discovering her princess table. A friend gave it to us, and Lily LOVES it.

Crazy Cousins

2010-08-15T19:45:00.001-07:00

We went to Colorado last week to escape the heat and visit Robby's sister, Kathie and her family, who just moved near Denver. We had a great time seeing them and being able to go outside without having sweat begin to pour off you, like it did as soon as we got off the plane when we got home. Robby had Lily on the plane. She was so excited to fly! Lance did great!

I got to visit my good friend Anna, from high school. And her cute,cute boy!

Lily and C.J. I think Lily's mad I'm interupting her play time.

We went to the red rocks ampitheatre. it was quite the walk!

Up at the top.

Lance loved his Aunt Kathie and laughed and laughed.

Lily just followed these two around everwhere!

I think Lily looks more like Chloe than any other cousin.

Amy did Lily's hair. It was out by church, but cute while it lasted!

Colorado Springs and Pike's Peak

2010-08-15T18:29:00.001-07:00

On Sunday afternoon we went to Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. It's a free public park that is beautiful. There was thunder and lightening off in the distance-we got quite a show later that night. But in the evening it just made it very pretty. Our view from our hotel. You could see Pike's Peak, but I never caught it when the clouds weren't over it.

At Garden of the Gods.

Lily walked through this gap in the rocks. Robby had to help pull her through.

It started raining, just enough to make it fun!

Lance loves his bumbo chair and we were glad we had it with us!

On the train up to Pike's Peak on Monday it rained quite hard. Pike's peak is the highest most visited peak in North America. It's also what inspired the song America the Beautiful.

It's pretty cold at the top, and you get pretty light headed!

On our way back down on the train.

Breckenridge

2010-08-15T15:28:00.001-07:00

Our last stop on our trip to Colorado was Breckenridge. It was very last minute-we decided on Sunday that we were going there Monday, but we were so glad we did. It was beautiful and so nice to be in the mountains. It was high-9,000+ square feet, and you could really feel the altitude, but we loved it. My favorite pictures on my phone. On Tuesday morning I went running up the ski resort and it was beautiful. I was all by myself on the trail. I've got to figure out how to get the images off my phone! Our view from our room.

Along main street after dinner. I think our kids are tired!

I quite liked this skiier.

Yummy crepes. Sorry for the blurry picture.

Riding the free Gondola. We had great fun on it.

The "hike" we went on up to the alipe slide.

Emily's Birthday Celebration

2010-07-21T20:49:00.001-07:00

Today was Emily's 6th birthday, and we had a good time celebrating it. We started the day by having scrambled eggs and ketchup, Em's favorite. Then we watched some videos of Emily while I ran on the treadmill, which Lily really enjoyed. Made me teary, but that's to be expected. Then we went to our friend Jodi's house and went swimming, which Emily also really enjoyed. Lily is wearing a shirt that Emily got for her 4th birthday that says "Big Sister." She also has her hair in pigtails, since Em always had her hair in pigtails. We had a good time visiting at Jodi's. Tonight for dinner we had grilled cedar plank wild Alasken salmon and sweet potatoes with honey cinnamon butter. Emily loved sweet potatoes. The salmon was more for me-it's my birthday tomorrow, and I LOVE salmon, but didn't want to have to cook on my birthday. It's SO MUCH better wild. All I've had is the farm raised Atlantic for over half a year, I forgot that there's such a big difference. But trust me, there is. It's much more oily wild, but in a good way. I know some people my read this and just think fish is gross in general, but salmon is my favorite food, so I tend to be kind of picky! After dinner Robby took Lily for rides in Em's wheelchair, while we watched more videos. Lily obviously enjoyed herself.

Then we had fun rolling around on the floor. Emily's FAVORITE activity was rolling around.

After we rolled around we looked at Em's baby pictures and opened the book to the family that they get on Em's birthday. I get a Caldacott picture book and wrap it up-we all like to read, and I figure that now Emily can enjoy the pictures with us; it always made me sad that she couldn't see the pictures really when I'd read to her. This year we got The Lion and the Mouse, and Lily really enjoyed it. She likes the lion roaring.

We also have a book callled "Emily's Balloon" that we read. Then we go and release balloons outside. We had 6, but one of them popped, so we released 5. Lily really liked releasing them one at a time, and we got her to be okay with being done by going inside and eating a sucker that had been attached to the balloons.

Before bed we read Robby's poem that we turned into a book and sang her favorite songs, Called to Serve and My Heavenly Father Loves Me. It was a good day, and even though it makes me sad, it was really nice to have Lily to help us celebrate it. We figure Lance will be a bit more involved next year! I put more pictures on facebook, too. Now off to bed!

Emily's Birthday

2010-07-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

Emily's birthday is on Wednesday. She would have been six. She was due on my birthday, July 22, and I was induced the day before. Here we are in front of our Provo basement apartment in April, 2004. I don't think I'll write the whole birth story. Other people can, I still can't. I don't like to relive it, I just like to remember that she was here! These pictures are all before things got really bad and we ended up at Primary Children's. The day after she was born.

Our first family picture.

One of the first pictures we took. Or someone took. She always kept her legs in that froggy position.

Emily

2010-07-11T15:09:00.001-07:00

This was right before Emily's 4th birthday. Lily also enjoys being in the pool with her dad.

I found this quote on a friend's blog and have wanted to share it, but haven't really found the right words to go with it. But I thought I'd share it anyway,

"God doesn't give children with disabilities to strong people: He gives them to ordinary, everyday people then He helps the parents to grow stronger through the journey. Raising a child with special needs doesn't TAKE a special family, it MAKES a special family. "

Now here are some rambling thoughts...

I've NEVER been comfortable with the idea that Robby and I are "special" and that's why Emily came to us. Robby and I are blessed, and we're lucky that she came to us, but I don't think that I am a better person or mom then my twin sister, who has 3 healthy children. Or then most people. Do I believe that Emily came to our house for a reason? Absolutly! She needed us and we needed her. But I really don't like the idea that we are better or more chosen then other people. I hope that makes sense.

Another comment I get all the time is how strong I am, or that people "can't imagine" or could "never go through what I've been through." I always think those comments are kind of funny, because it's not as though I've had a choice! I understand what people mean, though, and I appreciate the sentiment. I think to me, when hard things happen you can't really sit on the fence. You have to either have faith and ask for help and believe the Lord will help you, or you have despair. I don't like the feeling of despair, and so I try to have faith. Sometimes it's easier then others.

This month Emily would have been celebrating her 6th birthday. I still feel like I'm two diffferent people,-I have had a child, Emily, in school and primary and all of that, but to most people I am a young mom with a 2 year old and a baby! It's hard for me to talk about Emily to people who haven't met her, because I don't feel like I'm doing her justice by describing her. I think people feel sorry for me when they find out I had a child with pretty severe disabilities, who passed away. And we don't feel sorry for us! I like the way a friend put it, she said that she feels sad for us, but not sorry for us. I feel sad for me, too, especially when I'm really missing Emily. But NEVER sorry that she came to us.

People ask what it's like having a baby and a toddler compared to having Emily and Lily. Life is challenging now, but it's not stressful. With Em and Lily it was like having 2 babies and a school-aged kid at once. I had to feed, change, dress both of them, but Emily was also in school, therapy, etc. I didn't know anyone else with a situation similar to mine. With Lance and Lily my schedule is my own-if I need groceries but Lance and Lily are napping, or really grumpy, I can send Robby. Or go later. With Emily and Lily there were places I HAD to be-school, therapy, doctors appointments, etc. It's a lot of conflicting emotions. Because while my life is less stressful now, having a stressful life meant that Emily was here in it, and of course I'd rather have Emily here! I'm glad I have a husband who understands and who I can talk to about it. I feel like I get less done now then I did when Emily was here, because I don't have to be on a schedule like I did with Emily. It's very hard to explain. The bottom line is I just miss Emily, but I know that Emily is happy where she is, and so I'm grateful for that. And I'm grateful for Lance and Lily, who make me laugh and keep me happy.

Swinging Smiles

2010-07-02T08:07:00.001-07:00

Lily and Lance both have loved their swing. Yesterday when Lance woke up for the day he was just smiling. When Robby got home I had the pictures going on a slide show and he asked why I had Lily's pictures going. I told him it was Lance and he said, "No, that's Lily!" and I said, "I took these pictures today, that's Lance!" Compared next to each other they don't look as much alike, but still. Lance is about 10 weeks old and Lily was about 8 weeks old when the pictures were taken. Lily then lost all the hair she had, so we'll see if Lance keeps his or not. It's hard to believe she was born with such dark, straight hair!

Memorial Day

2010-06-25T21:28:00.001-07:00

Robby's aunt took these and sent them to us. My sister-in-law had taken pictures and sent them to my phone, but I don't know how to get them off. We're so glad that we chose Quincy to bury Emily-Robby's family takes such great care of her spot and always puts flowers there for us and from them. Robby's grandmas are both near her, and several uncles. This month is kind of a tough one for me-the month before her birthday. She would have been six this year!

Lance 2 months/ Emily 1 year

2010-06-24T19:41:00.001-07:00

Here's Emily at almost 1. This was June 2005 right after we moved to Texas. She turned one is July. I don't have a picture of her on her birthday on my computer. When she turned one she was between 23-24 inches long and around 12-13 lbs. Today Lance had his two month check up, and he's 24 1/4 inches (88%) and 12 lbs (50%). Emily came home from the NICU right before her 2 month birthday, at 7 1/2 weeks. She weighed 7 lb 8oz and was 19 inches long. Just kind of crazy. It's so different going to a well baby check up with Lance or Lily then Emily. I DREADED going with Em, because they always seemed to find something new that I needed to do, a new doctor she needed to see, a new test she needed to have, etc. Poor little girl. I try not to think about it too much. I'm amazed that I can go to the doctor and they can say-looks great! And that's it!
On a side note, can I tell you how proud I was of Em's rolls in this picture? It's the only time in her life she ever had any meat on her legs! She had just came off of being on steriods, which is probably why, but still. She had cute rolls!

Blessing baby; Emily reminder

2010-05-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

Today we blessed our 3rd baby, Lance. The outfit was Robby's. Lance has just started to smile a little bit; he especially seems to smile for Grammy. I missed this one, but was glad they caught it on camera! Robby's parents were able to come for it. Lance is named after Robby's dad, so we were very glad that he was able to be here!

So our Emily reminder came this week when Lance had a fever-he was up most of the night, and so Thursday morning I called the doctor and they had me bring me in. Even though I had given him tylonol and his fever was down to 100 with it, the doctor sent me to the ER because he'd had a fever of 101.8 at home, and he's only one month old. He was eating and doing all that other stuff. The ER was where we took Emily when she got sick before she passed away, so it was pretty awful going back, even though we were pretty sure Lance just had whatever Lily had had 2 days before. Luckily Robby came and met me there. They eventually drew blood and got a urine sample, and basically everything had to come back perfect for them to not make him stay over night. They had to poke him twice to get the blood, and wanted to come back and try again to get in an IV, but I asked if we could wait until we had the lab results back before we did, and luckily the doctor agreed. They also let me feed him while we were there-it would have been AWFUL if they hadn't. I was a wreck after they got the blood, and when the doctor told me we had to go to the ER, just because it brought back so many not fun memories of Emily. The whole medical part of Emily we just try to forget-we know she didn't like it! Luckily the lab results did come back perfect, so after being there for 5 hours they let us go home. I guess if your baby is under 29 days old and has a fever it's an automatic 48 hour stay, labs, xrays, urine sample, and spinal tap! So thank goodness he was 33 days! And Robby's mom had come on Wedensday night, so she was able to stay all day with Lily and take care of her, so at least we didn't have to worry about Lily!

Other then that things are going well ehre. Lily is getting used to Lance-I think her adjustment has been pretty typical for a 20 month old. She's usually pretty nice, though she will hit him occasionaly or throw something at him. She also is now doing this super high pitched scream to get attention. I mean SUPER high pitched. We try to just ingnore it, but it can be tough! Lance is sleeping okay-he's up now every 2 1/2-3 hours, but he'll usually go back to sleep pretty quickly. He HATES being on his back, and sleeps in either his swing or his bouncer. Is this bad? Next week for naps I'm going to try to get him to go on his back I think. He also hates getting his diaper changed and having baths and screams bloody murder. Our girls were much easier going, but that's okay!

I'm running again and trying to get back into shape. I'm amazed at how hard I work for how slow I go when I'm running! We'll get there eventually, I hope. One year ago today I was running a marathon, so hopefully a year from now I'll be training for or have ran another one. We'll see!

Twins

2010-05-09T16:28:00.000-07:00

My friend came over and took newborn pictures of Lance last week when he was one week old. I'm going to put the rest on Facebook. It was so much fun!

Here Lance is 5 days old and Lily is 3 weeks old. But we were surprised at how much they looked alike in these pictures! Robby is happy because Lily looks like him, so that means that Lance will probably look like him. Though we agree that Lily has my legs and Lance has Robby's. And Lily has my big mouth and Lance has Robby's.

My mom left today. She was such a HUGE help and we're all sad to see her go. I was very spoiled having her here for 2 full weeks. Lily keeps asking for her. Robby's parents are coming in a few weeks, which will be fun. Lance is sleeping okay. I usually can get around 2 hours of sleep by the time I'm done feeding him! He usually will go back to sleep after he eats, so that's good. And compared to being home with a baby on oxygen and a feeding tube, this is nothing! Though still tiring :-).

We've missed having Emily around-the last time I had a newborn she was here to keep me company, so it makes me sad sometimes. I'm sure she and Lance had fun together before he came here. And I think that Emily's personality will be a lot like Lily's when she can tell us everything that she wants to. She was certainly happy like Lily is!

Lance has changed a lot the past 2 weeks. As of Friday, at his 2 week check up, he was 8 lbs 9 ounces and 22 inches long! He's in the 95% for height and 75% for weight. I figure he can only go down from here, but it's a good start, right?

My Babies Sleeping

2010-04-30T20:29:00.001-07:00

Robby sleeps with his hands behind his head. I wake up with his elbow inches from my head every night. Lance has liked having his hands near his face, and tonight got them completely behind his head for the first time. Guess who else sleeps like this? His sister, Lily. This is her at 5 months.

And this is her tonight. Usually they'll be completly behind her head. I'd try to get a picture of Robby, but I don't think he'd appreciate being woken up by the flash. Tonight I woke up Lily from it. Sorry Lily!

Baby Lance is Here!

2010-04-27T19:20:00.001-07:00

Okay, these pictures are in reverse order, sorry. Lance Reid Hammond arrived Friday, April 23rd at 2:45 pm. He weighed 7 lbs 6 ounces and is 21 inches long! He seems tall and skinny to me-Lily seemed a bit thicker, but she was 7 lbs 4 ounces and 20 3/4 inches. Emily was 5'8 and 18 inches. This was yesterday. Proud big sister!

Our first family picture. Lily was sick-I had to take her to the doctor on Thursday, the day before he was born, and she had an infection in her throat and a fever. It wasn't strep, but we still waited until Saturday until she met him. She hasn't figured out that she can hold him yet, so we're keeping it that way for a few more days, because I think she'll want to hold him all the time once she figures out she can!

He has huge feet! The nurse called the Tree Climber feet. We've also called them Hobbit feet. We compared them to a plaster we have of Emily's feet when she was 11 months old, and they're the same size! His might even be a bit bigger.

It took him a few seconds to start crying, because he shot out super fast-they said he was a bit stunned. But then he gave some good wails.

My first time holding him.

Okay, here's the birth story, for those who are curious. We went in at 5:00 AM to be induced. Our neighbor came over and stayed with Lily Friday morning and then took care of her Friday and stayed at our house Friday night so that she could be in her own bed. Thanks Maggie!

They started me on the pittosin at 6:15 and I started having contractions right away. The doctor came in at 8:30 and I was dialated to a 3 but hadn't effaced much more (I was 50% when I came in) so she opted to wait a bit longer to break my water. We decided to get the epidural before they broke my water, because once they break it my contractions get awful, especially in my back. So I got the epidural at 10:15 and the doctor came back at 10:45 to break it. My contractions were coming right on top of each other after that, so I'm really glad I got the epidural first this time! They had to turn off the PITT because he didn't like it that much, and I went to a 4 and 90% effaced in 15 minutes. So that was at 11:00. When they checked again at 12:00 I was about a 6 according to the nurse, and then when the doctor checked at 1:00 she said I was a 5! So the doctor, nurse and I weren't happy about that-the fact I hadn't really progressed. They turned back on the PITT (it had been on, off, on and then off again) And then I started feeling my contractions again. I could always feel them, but just like braxton hicks. These started to hurt! So I called my nurse who called the anestheisiologist, and at about 1:40 he gave me more medicine through the epidural. So by 2:00 life was good again. Then at 2:30 I felt the "pressure" they talk about and called the nurse. The doctor was next door, having just delivered a baby, and so she checked me and I was ready! Lance was very polite, waiting until the epidural was working again before making me work!

The nurses had me push through one contraction while the doctor was getting ready, and then told me to not push anymore. I think Lance's heartrate must have been doing funny things, because they were pretty anxious for the doctor to get in and put me on oxygen. The doctor got there and they told her I was ready, and he came out, or according to the doctor and Robby, shot out, in one push. He wasn't breathing when he came out and gave us a good scare for 10-20 seconds, but once they started rubbing him down he gave out a good cry and then I started crying! Soreness wise he was much kinder then Lily, so things have been pretty good on that front.

Lily has done pretty well adjusting to the baby. She gives him lots of kisses, but hasn't seemed too jelous. It's great having my mom here to help take care and play with her, cook, clean, be our slave! J/K. Kindof. :-) We came home from the hospital on Sunday. Sunday night was rough-Lance didn't sleep AT ALL, but last night was a bit better. Robby took yesterday, today and tomorrow off, which is nice, too. I'm off to bed now!

Wildflowers, Easter, and Baby Update

2010-04-18T15:48:00.001-07:00

My mom made this Easter dress. Lily has to take her purse to church with her.

Lily in the field by our house. We've lived in Texas for 5 years, and this is only our 2nd spring of having wildflowers. Every other winter we haven't got enough rain. The flowers are everywhere, and so much fun to see.

This dress was mine. Notice the vintage 80's look! She wore it to church today.

Texas bluebonnets. This got flipped around weird and I don't know how to fix it.

More flowers in our field.

Lily doing the "touchdown" sign.

Robby's work had a shower for us, and one of his friends made this BYU cookie.

Lily's Easter egg hunt.

So, as far as the baby goes, he'll most likely be coming Friday or next Tuesday. We (the doctor and I) don't want him to get too big (for me-I know many of you have had 8, 9, and 10 lb babies and I bow down to you). Lily was 7 lbs 4 ounces, and was fine, but her shoulders were a bit of a struggle. When I mentioned that to the doctor she said, "Oh, I remember that. Maybe we ought to do this on Friday." Friday would be 6 days before my due date, and next Tuesday would be 2 days before. So we'll decide after my appointment on Tuesday. Emily was 1 day before my due date and Lily was 2 days before. My mom will be here Saturday and is staying for 2 weeks. Yeah for moms!

Lily doesn't really have a clue that a baby is coming, though she will point to her tummy or mine if I ask her where the baby is. Her new words include bapa and papa for grandma and grandpa, eyebrow, and bubbles. Lately she loves books and looking at pictures of her grandmas and grandpas. Robby got his BYU room painted-one wall is all navy blue and the other 3 walls are white with a navy blue wide stripe across the middle. -we'll post pictures once everything else is in place. We got a BYU banner to go with it and need to put that up and get a dresser. Hopefully everything the next few weeks goes well-keep your fingers crossed for us!

My favorite dress and update

2010-03-28T15:14:00.000-07:00

When Emily was 1 1/2 my mom made her this purple Easter dress. I think it's my favorite out of all the dresses Emily and Lily have ever had. My junior prom dress was the exact same color, and I just love it. It was also my wedding colors-purple bridesmaid skirts and the main flowers in the boquet. I guess there's a pattern there. I like purple! Emily wore it for two Easters in a row, because she didn't grow very much! This was the 2nd Easter, when she was 2 1/2. So this was Easter Sunday 2007. Since we won't be going to church next Sunday because of conference, I thought I'd have Lily wear it today. So here she is with Daddy, age 1 1/2. I just love the dress!

My Grandpa Reid passed away last month, and so my family was able to get together in Utah for the funeral. My dad came in from Afghanistan. I hadn't seen him since September, and my mom hadn't seen him since Christmas. Here we are picking him up at the airport. Lily remembered my mom and loved being with her. The first time she saw her again she reached up and patted her cheeks and gave her a hug.

Before my family got there I met my good friend Laura and we did the Temple Square thing. We also went to Cafe Rio-YUM! If you can see the picture close enough Lily is clapping, not because she's by the temple, but because she got to stand on that pedestal!

This was after the funeral. John, Steven, Dad, Parker, Mom, Sarah, me and Janica. Not in our birth order! We stayed up at the condo at Solitude and really had a good time. And it was good to remember my Grandpa Reid. My grandma passed away 12 years ago, so I'm happy that they are now together.

Things here are moving along. I'm 35 weeks pregnant now, though I have been asked many times, "Any day right?" "You're close, right?" "Have you ever been this big?" "You look miserable-I want to take you to the hospital right now." "You look ready to pop." "Wow, a whole month?" The comments mostly make me laugh. At least it means he's hopefully healthy! I think I'm close to as big as when I delivered Lily. Way bigger than when I had Em. But I'm not pregnant during the summer, so it hasn't been too bad. I wouldn't mind if he came a little early, though. With both Em and Lily I was induced right before my due date.

Last week Robby went to Oklahoma City to cheer on his BYU Cougars in the NCAA basketball tournament. He had a great time watching them win their first tournament game in 7 years in double overtime, though I don't think he'll be wanting to stay in a Motel 6 again any time soon. We're watching the Duke game now. If Duke loses I win our bracket! Robby has them winning the whole thing. Our first kiss was 9 years ago after the final NCAA game when Duke was in the finals-2001.

Lily is very busy-she learned how to open doors this week, so Robby was VERY nice and went to Target Thursday night to get me door handle child proof things. She won't go to nursery, so we're working on that-I really want her to go before this baby comes! I have some baby sewing projects to finish-I DO NOT sew, so we'll see how this goes, and am going to hopefully catch up on some other things like painting a baby's room and getting it ready! The colors will be BYU blue and white, in case you were wondering! I think that's it!

Lily kissing a dog

2010-03-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

Lily loves animals, especially dogs, and will go up to any dog she sees and try to love on it and hug and kiss it. This was a service rescue dog up at Solitude Mountain Resort.

Emily and Lily-The Same/Different

2010-03-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was thinking about what ways Em and Lily are the same, and how they're different, so I thought it would be kind of fun to write them down. So, here we go! Most of it I wrote in the present text. Just easier that way.

The Same:
They're both happy! Emily was always so happy, dispite all her challenges. And Lily is the same. Like today-she was in her stroller for 2 hours on a walk and was totally fine. I've had 2 girls with the best attitudes. Though Emily did learn how to throw temper tantrums-right on cue at age 2. And Lily has learned how, too.

They both love the words "Good Job." Emily woudl get so excited and smile and start talking when we'd clap and say "Good Job, Emily, especially after she'd done something big like go on the potty. Lily claps for herself.

Their hair-Lily and Emily's hair is EXACTLY the same color and texture, though Lily's has grown much more evenly then Em's did because she isn't wearing a hearing aid all the time. And they both have these little wavey curls. I love it. They also both like having their hair brushed.

When they sleep at night, they look the same. If Lily sleeps on her side, she looks just like Emily when we go in to check on her. It's so fun. Though most of the time Lily sleeps on her tummy with her bum in the air, or on her back with her hands behind her head, like her daddy.

They both seem to have bad teeth. We haven't taken Lily to the densist, but her bottom teeth don't look too hot.

They both have dimples.

They both have these cute tummys and NO hips.

They both LOVE music. Emily always loved listening to music, dancing, and singing songs, and so does Lily. She signs more whenever we sing or play the piano.

They both love to move. Em was the happiest rolling around on the ground, and Lily just runs from one thing to the next, and loves to be tossed, etc.

They both love their carseat. It's been the same carseat for both of them, and they both have done great in the car. Though Lily gets mad if it's dark and she can't see.

Their favorite breakfast food is scrambled eggs, though Emily liked them with ketchup or salsa, and Lily perfers them plain. They also both like chocolate, cupcakes, and sweet and sour meatballs.

They both like animals, especially dogs. They don't get this from their momma! (I like dogs fine, don't get me wrong). Emily would get big smiles petting a dog, and had no fear if one licked her, and Lily will tackle a dog and hug it if it will let her.

They both love getting into bed with us in the mornings, though Emily would cuddle with us and go back to sleep, and Lily thinks it's a great joke.

Neither one really has cared about the TV.

Different:
Emily LOVED to cuddle-she was the best at it. Lily, not so much, though she'll now give good hugs.

Emily was very much a Daddy's Girl, and Lily switches back and forth between Robby and I.

Emily LOVED bananas, and Lily is impartial at best.

Lily loves the wind and thinks it's funny, and Emily hated it.

Emily had daddy's legs and Lily has mommy's. :-)

Emily could fall asleep anywhere if she wanted to, and Lily has to be in her crib, though she'll sleep a bit in the car if she's really tired.

If you have any more things to share, I'd love to hear them!

Vancouver Olympics

2010-02-26T20:59:00.000-08:00

The Olympics! Waiting in line for the bus to take us to Cypress for the Women's Moguls.

Friday, up at the Richmond Ozone. Not nearly the excitement we thought it would be, but the kids had fun.

We had the chance to go home for the Vancouver Winter Olympics. Our adventure started when our flight was 3 hours late, but then we almost missed it because they put us on a different flight without telling us, and then lost our luggage. Luckily Lily and Akaila are the same size, and Janica had brought some maternity clothes for me to borrow. We got there Thursday, Feb. 11, and got our clothes early Saturday morning. Lily and Akaila in their matching Olympic shirts. They became very quick friends and followed eachother around everywhere. I'm going to put a bunch more pictures on Facebook.

At the Richmond Ozone. Lily's wearing my baby hat, since hers was still lost in limbo at that point.

At the Women's Moguls-where the US won their first gold. It was so cold and rainy and wet, but we still had a great time. We stood for over 6 hours though! I was quite proud of myself-being 29 weeks pregnant and being able to stand like that. And Robby stood in line with Sarah for over an hour to get us pizza and hot chocolate. Poor guy. He was NOT dressed for the weather-a sweatshirt and raincoat was all he had on. I had on about 6 layers, and was still cold. But he didn't complain.

Coya, John's wife came with Mady, who we'd never met, from Rexburg. Yeah! And Janica passed out once we were up in Vancouver, so Coya passed Mady off to Grandma and went with me to the Pairs gold medal figure skating event. We made it to our seats 5 minutes before it started. We really had a great time and especially loved the Silver medal chinese couple. And we were glad that we weren't on the train ride home with everyone else where Ryan (who's 6) threw up into a Subway bag that Kacey (his dad) had to hold the entire train ride.

We were able to go and stay in Whistler for a night, and had a great time. That's where, besides the actual events, you could really feel the Olympic spirit. Notice my pins on my scarf? My dad collects Olympic pins and trades them, so I was trying to follow his tradition. I did trade once.

Lily with the mascots. We bought a small one of each. I could tell you the names and history of each one, if you really wanted to know!

Lily loved being with Grandma.

At Whistler. It was such a great vacation. I took over 200 pictures, so facebook is where most of them will be. It sure made me miss the North west!